Headache from crying so much

[Zapookie]

My SO left today after staying with me for 3 months. It was our first visit ever. He's still on the plane flying home. I walked home after getting off the bus and was crying the whole time because we'd walk that path almost every day holding hands. All day I've just been sat at home moping and crying because every little thing reminds me of him. I was hungry but I didn't want to go in the kitchen because it reminded me of all the times we cooked together and I just expected to see him standing there at the stove. I was sitting on the couch and I kept looking over at his spot next to me expecting him to be there. I went into my room and expected to see him sleeping on my bed. Its just things like this and I feel like I can't escape his presence. Even just thinking about him makes me upset. I miss him so much.

I don't know what to do or how I can make this better

[princessmeg1328]

I'm so sorry that you're hurting so much right now. It's so hard to be alone again after spending so much time with your SO. I would just be sad for today. Eat a lot of ice cream, watch tv, do whatever you do when you're really sad. When you wake up tomorrow, try to keep yourself busy. Go spend time with some friends. For right now, I would probably spend more time outside of your home so that you don't have the constant reminders. I would also try to set up the first Skype date for as soon as possible. It always makes me feel better to talk to my SO asap. It's ok to be sad for a little bit, but remember that you have to keep on living your life even though your SO isn't with right now. You two will be together again before you know it.

[killerkaytee]

Definately agree with princessmeg, always remember you'll be together again soon and that hes going through the same pain you are. The first few days really suck but I felt myself getting back to reality again. Looking back on all the pictures helped me remember all the great memories we made, and before I knew it, we were planning his trip here on Christmas =) So try and remember this wasn't a one time visit and you two will be back together soon =) I hope you feel better! =)

[killerkaytee]

Definately agree with princessmeg, always remember you'll be together again soon and that hes going through the same pain you are. The first few days really suck but I felt myself getting back to reality again. Looking back on all the pictures helped me remember all the great memories we made, and before I knew it, we were planning his trip here on Christmas =) So try and remember this wasn't a one time visit and you two will be back together soon =) I hope you feel better! =)

[Zapookie]

Its hard though because we don't know when we'll be able to see each other again. He lives so far away.. but I do appreciate your kind words.

Tomorrow my friend helped me plan a day out with my girlfriends... hopefully I'll feel a bit better. After that I'll go grocery shopping and get some ice cream and chocolate because there's none in the house right now lol. I do hope to skype with him as soon as he can. I spoke to him briefly on facebook when he arrived in Auckland for transit.

[princessmeg1328]

Its hard though because we don't know when we'll be able to see each other again. He lives so far away.

Even though you might not be able to plan your next trip right now, you can always plan for the next important thing that you're going to do. Even if it's something as simple as planning to have a nice meal together over Skype or playing Words with Friends on facebook. It's still a special time for just the two of you to be together. You may not be together physically, but you're still together emotionally. You're still connecting with your SO and doing something special for just the two of you. That's just my opinion, though.

[Joyce:)]

You will feel better, i promise. When my SO visited, and then left, every little thing reminded me of him. i just layed all day on his side of the bed just so i could be somewhere that smelled like him. I totally know how you are feeling, but things get better, it's all about getting past the first couple of days. Hugs.

[rsvpnj]

I understand how you feel. I was living with my BF for 3 months this past summer. Leaving him was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. That is saying something considering I left a bad marriage and am a single mom of two. I was in a total funk for the first 30 days. Even now...a month and a half later, I'm still sad. I try to keep myself as busy as possible. When I am not busy, if I am still feeling sad, I take a nap to stop myself from thinking. Everyone says I have not been myself since I returned.

The little things got to me at first... doing laundry made me cry because I had gotten used to our doing laundry together. I wouldn't even watch certain tv shows because they reminded me of him.

I told my BF that I was having a really hard time with the separation and we agreed that we would be in contact even more frequently than before. We talk while running errands, we continue our weekly date night, we email and text constantly throughout the day. We talk about all the things that we want to do together, even if we don't know when we'll be able to do them.

Good luck to you! I hope the sadness leaves you soon!

[littlethinktank]

I am really sorry you're hurting so bad! I can relate. The first week of being back by yourself is always horrible but I do agree with the other girls, it might not seem that way but you'll get better eventually! I normally try to get back to my "normal/ being alone" rhythm as quick as possible. I find it helps to keep busy! Keep your head up!!

[floridaellen]

I agree with everyone else. Stay busy and the pain will ease. My SO left a week ago. I cried all the way home from the airport and I still cry. It does get better though. Just remember that every day is closer to the next time you see them.

[Bethypoo]

I just went through this. Honestly it took me 3 weeks to stop crying on the phone and to stop feeling so alone.

Keep busy. Dont dwell, as hard as that is. And keep talking to him. Keep things open and dont hide the fact that you miss him, Sometimes it helps to know you both are having a hard time and that way you can help each other threw it. And keep talking to us. Thats what I did. Everyone here kept reminding me that it is normal to feel that way and to just be sad. It will get better hun.

[LilyChiba]

That seems like a really long time for him to be able to stay in Australia. I'm actually surprised and curious as to how that worked, mostly because my SO won't be staying for long next year. Nice to know there is another Kelly on here from Australia though haha. Outside of that, I'm sorry you're feeling the blues Just do what you can to distract and think about the next time or the good memories from this trip ^_^

[Sharon Q]

I know how you feel. When my SO moved to Pennsylvania to stay with his mom. I kept feeling like he would come down stairs at any moment or that he would be standing outside waiting for me. It felt so weird being without him. It took a while to get used to things. And I still think he's going to randomly show up at times. lol.

Something that helps me a lot is day dreaming, its really what helps me get through my day.

[Zapookie]

Thank you everyone for your support. It's day two without him and I am feeling a lot better than I dild yesterday. He spoke to my on facebook just before I was going to leave to hang out with my friends, just letting me know he's home and that he misses me. When I got home we skyped for about an hour, there were a couple of tears. We both miss each other incredibly. He's hoping to work and save a bit of money to come back on a workers visa so he can at least be here with me.

@LilyChiba - He got a tourist visa on an ETA, which is valid for 12 months, but you can only stay a maximum of 3 months per stay. He stayed with me so didnt need to pay for accommodation, only transport and food.

[uniquefem]

awww........*hugs*

temporary good bye is not as easy as it sound.... i am glad you're doing..better than the first day.. it will take time to get use with those days again when you're by your self.. just think that he still there for you, and he could come back again or you could fly back there...

Once my friend say something that i feel so harsh that time when she said it to me, when i just had my post visit syndrome and crying like nuts until my head hurt and i dont want to eat etc... she said "why you acting like he passed away??like he is going to place you cant visit?? he just flying back home for God sake" well short of like that... and yeah.. she's saying the truth.. just like a woke up call for me and i stop crying.. pick up my cellphone and text him saying i love you... the person we love still there we could skype and call and perhaps hugs them back again in just few days, weeks or months....

So hang in there, try to think happy thing you did with him and the chance to do it all over again in future try to be positive!