Questions that you think are important to ask you SO when getting to know them

[SquishyLove]

Things that for me are dealbreakers:

- a history of infidelity in past relationships (if they do it once, they'll likely do it again)

- addiction to any substance (save caffeine, which I think a large portion of society uses, lol )

- has or wants kids (I'm child-free, always have been, and always will be)

- doesn't like animals (I'm a cat person and will always want to be around them)

- is lazy, spends large amounts of time being unemployed, etc. I don't expect affluence, but I expect that my partner will work and contribute financially to the household.

- wants to be the center of attention in social situations (BIG indicator or selfishness to me)

- racist, sexist, or hateful to any group of people

I learned most of these things the hard way from the ex of my first serious relationship (and by serious I mean living together - I thankfully knew he wasn't marriage material despite spending some years with that douchelord ). Was wasn't racist or anything, he was neutral about kids and did like animals, but everything else are things he exhibited. Sometimes I would lament that I wasted years on that jerk, but the experience of having such a crappy relationship gave me great "asshole radar" and now I'm with a great guy who always succeeds in making me smile, never stresses me out, respects me completely, is responsible and stable (has been employed his whole adult life and is college educated) and treats me with love and tenderness always! So I guess sometimes kissing the frogs can lead you to a prince ultimately!

[dglynn77]

How do you feel about your family?
Hard worker?
Job status?
How do you get along with people?

Just a few random ones.

[books]

#1 question for me...

What is your relationship like with your mother?

[Malaga]

#1 question for me...

What is your relationship like with your mother?

Haha, yes! Very important. It was also one of the first things I investigated with my boyfriend.

Every once in a while I come across something I think would've been good to ask sooner. Just because in the beginning people have no history so they don't take any such questions personally, while later in the relationship the stakes are higher and people are more sensitive. For example, I never specifically asked my boyfriend what exactly he considers cheating. (He was always solid and reliable so I never felt the need. I feel we're on the same page but it was never explicitely stated.) But if I were to ask it now, after we've been involved for awhile, I'd have to place it in the appropriate context, otherwise he might wonder where did that come from.