Those that were CD

[Sharon Q]

This is for those that started out CD with your partner and went LD for whatever reason.

After my boyfriend moved I was abnormally happy. I suppose this was because it had not hit me. I kept expecting him to walk through my door at any moment, take me in his arms and kiss me. Of course that never happened.

Did anyone else feel this way?

When all the changes hit you how did you handle it?

[floridaellen]

I know how you feel. I always feel like all of a sudden he's going to walk through the door and say 'hey babe i'm home from work' or something. :/
Sometimes it hurts a lot. Other days I am fine. I guess just knowing that one day it will be like that again gets me through it. The visits of course help.

[mllebamako]

Hmm I didn't feel that way but it was me who moved and my SO who stayed. I was the one getting on the plane, so it hit me pretty hard then. I was sad but I was also filled with excitement to see my family after so long and to start a new job. It was a time of mixed emotions.

I think moving apart is like dealing with any other change. When it hits you, it can be hard and you have to expect to go through a difficult period. But then, it becomes your new reality and you settle into it.

[hiskitten]

We became LD after moving away for university. And for the first week or so, when I had classes and meetings and things to, I didn't really seem like he was gone. It seemed like we were just both in class and I'd see him on the weekends.

I guess after a few weekends alone, when I didn't see him, it hit me.

For me, Texting helps a lot to keep in contact, skype dates are cute as well… Taking time for myself has helped alot. Just focusing on my own social life and my health and needs as helped lessen the insecurity that came from the big move. But I'm still learning how to deal with it.

[ioanna]

boy oh boy does this take me back!

my SO and I were CD for 4 years, and then i was the one "left behind". things weren't easy for me. i was in denial for a couple of months, and then depressed for about 6. i imagined things would be the same as before, that CD and LD would make no difference; and when it did, i had a very hard time adjusting and dealing with it, and it brought out a lot of insecurities. we have a 10h time difference, have horrible schedules and lousy communication slots
our first visit was 11 months in. it erased everything i had been going through, provided all the reassurance i could ever dream of, and i've been a lot more at ease with everything since.

i don't really have much advice other than listen to yourself, allow yourself to feel every single thing you're feeling, communicate as best you can and just take things a day at a time

[Leigh]

He felt like he had been left behind. I assured him that he was'nt, but I felt like he resented me for leaving.

[Reuschel]

My girlfriend and I were going strong for 2 years before I picked a college 16 hours by car away. It was hard getting on that plane to go to move in the first day and it's hard every day not seeing her. The best thing is to just get involved with something so you don't feel bogged down with emotions. Going for walks has helped me and it's also good exercise. Our majors both keep us busy and are slightly similar so we can help each other with homework sometimes which is fun. Just having things to do will help you keep your mind off your SO. There will always be days when you miss them and those are the days you call each other and just talk. Other days you just realize you both are ridiculously busy sometimes and that you won't always be able to talk. Just be strong and hang in there!

[Rugger]

It didn't hit me for like a month after we went our separate ways. We'd been apart a month before, during school breaks and it wasn't a big deal. I handled it by keeping busy and by letting myself grieve.

[spaztastic3343]

My boyfriend and I started a CDR four and a half years ago. Our relationship became LD when I went away to college and he stayed in high school. He is a year behind me so he was in his senior year. Anyway we did didnt do very good and ended up breaking up so I decided to transfer back to NJ so I would be closer in hopes we would get back together. It didnt happen right away though. We stayed split for a year but were friends with benefits, then a year ago his mom decided to move them all to Florida. The day he moved was when it all hit me, I realized I wouldnt be seeing him everyday and be able to kiss him or hug him. It was pretty rough. He ended up asking me out again this past March (2011) so we are back together and in a LDR again. The way I try to stay positive about it is think about when I'm going to get to see him and what we will do. This year we will be seeing eachother for Thanksgiving and then I'm going to Florida for 2 weeks in december/january.

[Miramaid]

way before i even moved... I started already going nuts and crazy over the thought of us being far away soon... And i was afraid that he would just leave me right away or cheat on me.
I do not know abt #2 but #1 did not quite happen yet even thought things are not working out

[RainbowLaura]

I'm hoping it doesn't hit me again
We've only been long distance for one day, and for the weeks beforehand I'd been going absolutely mad thinking about him being away. Yesterday it all peaked and I had a bit of a breakdown when I knew he'd be getting on the plane, travelling on the plane, and arriving in the new place. I was in pieces. But when he got to the house and called me, everything felt a lot better. And this morning we talked on Skype and I feel better still. I hope it doesn't get as bad as yesterday again. Weirdly I almost feel better today than I have at all since I knew when he was leaving. It's like we can finally start counting down to seeing each other again, rather than counting down to the awful day that was yesterday. I hope I keep feeling like this and I don't go back to being in a complete mess. Just a little bit of a mess is fine for me!

[Ms.Justine]

I felt that way, when my SO left I'd go to work and see a car like his waiting out front and my heart would skip a beat and I'd think it was him but then it wasn't. These feelings passed shortly and reality had set in. Although, I can agree with you it sucks! It'll be okay though it gets easier with time. Sure you'll have your hard days but it'll be okay.

[amartnotkmart]

When we first had to go LD 14 months ago (was it really that long???? WOW) I was completely crushed. The night before he left for college I was broken down sobbing for hours. Those first few weeks were the toughest- probably because it was both of our first years at college, we had never been long distance, and he left for school a significant amount of time before I did.

Maybe it's because we've become more used to it, but even though we're farther apart now, it's not as bad. But then again it might just be me keeping myself extremely occupied with all the awesome stuff I can do here.