Please can you give me your advice?

[AimeeDarling]

Ok so basically, i've been with my boyfriend but i haven't told my mum. At first we weren't sure it would work out, but we tired anyway. Now all i want to do is go see him, but its a really long way and i'm really worried about what my parents will say. I dont care how stupid this sounds but I cry every time he leaves home, we have a video call up almost all the time, but every Wednesday he has to go to his mothers and cry like a baby for about an hour, my mum always wants to know whats wrong but I dont know how to tell her and what i'll do if she doesn't like it, she didnt even like my ex who lived 20 minutes away so i don't see her reacting well.

[heylittlekrissy]

Well, eventually they're going to want to know what's wrong, and even if she drops the subject now, she may not for much longer. You may want to consider starting by introducing him as a good friend of yours and see how she reacts to that first; if she's okay with that, you might even want to see about letting them meet over camera sometime, that would probably make her more comfortable with the idea. In time, you'll have to introduce him as your boyfriend to her, especially if you want to go see him.

[AimeeDarling]

Thank you i think i'll try that

[heylittlekrissy]

You're welcome It's actually what I did, minus the introducing them on webcam, cause my SO is camera shy lol, but I did let them talk a couple times when I was talking to him, so she kinda got used to the idea before I told her. Plus, I know that's how my mom is, if I start to talk a lot about a guy, she figures I like him, so I did it on purpose lol. But she did seem okay with it after having spoken to him. Good luck telling her, and hopefully it works out well for you too

[Engel]

and how old are you? just to have an idea of how your mother could react, most of the times the age is an important factor for the parents reactions

[Zapookie]

I did what heylittlekrissy said. My mother would ask who I was talking to every night, and I would just tell her he was a good friend of mine. Eventually I got her to talk to him on webcam. I would show her pictures of him and videos of him on his youtube so she'd feel a little more at ease, knowing who he was. She then allowed him to stay here for 3 months (although that wasn't the initial length of time, nonetheless, she was a little sad when he left).

[Sierra]

My mother always made fun of my 'relationship' I had with my boyfriend.

She's one of those mothers who just doesn't like a single person I bring in the front door. She even hired a private investigator to look into a guy I was dating. It was different with my boyfriend now, for whatever reason she just decided to go with it and for the first time ever she actually likes one of the men I'm seeing. Sure she gives me a hard time before of the distance and because he's from Texas, she calls him a redneck in jest, but she really likes him.

You can't always live in fear of what your parents think even if you are younger and live under their roof and have to basically live under their rules, but I do wish you the best of luck. I don't think it's good to keep secrets even when they may be met with disapproval.

[AimeeDarling]

Hey, sorry we're both 18

[heylittlekrissy]

I agree with Sierra on the not keeping secrets. Honestly, it took me almost 5 months of being with my SO to tell my parents, and they were glad to know, but I think also kind of unhappy I had waited so long. I'm close with my mom, so that didn't help, because she normally knows most of what's going on with me. They'll be much more understanding if you tell them, even if they may not completely approve of the situation, most parents would rather know than be left in the dark and find out from someone else or another way besides directly from you.

[jiynx]

You need to tell her, especially if you're still living at home. She is responsible for you and has the right to know what's going on. If you're upset, this will worry her and really needs to know what's going on so she doesn't think it's something much worse. If she's all for it, then great! You'll have someone to talk to about if. If she doesn't like it, that's okay. As long as she knows what the whole situation is - things will boil over eventually. She's your mother. She will love you no matter what choices you make in life (good or bad).

My sister and mom HATED that my SO lives in a different town, much less a different country. But, they've come to terms with it now. My sister is even helping us find a way for him to live up here!!

I strongly advise that you tell her about your long distance relationship. It will make it much easier on the both of you.