Parents...

[rjg4242]

So, my SO oddly didn't communicate for a while, so worried, i called and then later today i get this txt: "She dont got her phone pussy stop calin"

My SO is 17 and i feel like her mother consistently treats her unfairly and is a terrible parent in general. I can hardly stop myself from responding sarcastically, but i know that would only make things worse...

I'm extremely frustrated and worried what will happen in the future. We're both eager to close the distance but I'm worried that I've become a wedge between the already shaky relationship she has with her family, and that she would abandon them for me (I'm only 19, I think it would be infeasible and hinder her post high school plans).

[Josephine Falnor]

Oh my God. I'm sorry about that. That's really upsetting... I can totally understand calling, if you were worried your SO. Her mother really shouldn't have responded like that. That's just downright nasty. I wish I had advice to offer you... I'll send you good wishes though. I hope everything works out for you and her.

[rjg4242]

Thanks ^.^ It's really depressing because i know how important communication is, and we were both open and honest and talked all the time, and now a 3rd party can completely take that away....for an indefinite amount of time....:'(

[Sharon Q]

I would just wait for her to contact you. Given her mothers response, It may get worse if you keep trying to contact your GF.

[rjg4242]

I know...all I can do is wait patiently, but im more worried what this means for the future. She has said before that her mother would disown her if she ever tried to be with me. I can't imagine me being well off if my parents had abandoned me when i turned 18.

[CynicalQuixotic]

Your girlfriend's mom sounds like a class act for sure.

What are her post-college plans? Is she moving away to university or living at home? This, I think, has a big impact on how you two should proceed.

[rjg4242]

She probably is going to enroll in the military because her mother is pushing her to and is unwilling to help her if she does not.

[CynicalQuixotic]

Hmmm. I know the military is something you really have to want to do in order to make it through, and I hate to think of what it would be like for her if she was forced into it.

Do your parents know about you two? Have they met her? Maybe your family could be of some assistance, if they were willing. I just feel awful for your poor girlfriend, her situation sounds really fubar.

[rjg4242]

Hmmm. I know the military is something you really have to want to do in order to make it through, and I hate to think of what it would be like for her if she was forced into it.

Do your parents know about you two? Have they met her? Maybe your family could be of some assistance, if they were willing. I just feel awful for your poor girlfriend, her situation sounds really fubar.

My parents know, but haven't met her. They really don't have the means to support another person. She could work and pay to live here, but then what? Who could pay for her college tuition? Like I said I feel like I will end up being a hindrance.

[CynicalQuixotic]

Well, you can never discount emotional support, even if it's from far away. You probably do a lot more than you think you do just by way of loving her and existing. I know how frustrating it is to feel so powerless, though, and I wish I had better advice for you.

[DemonxOisin]

Oh man, I know the feeling of being under pressure to follow your parents plan, or lose any financial help :/ But really though, how old is her mother, 15? :/

Just keep reminding her that no matter what she does after high school, you will support her. And remind her that she has the right to make her own decisions. She is capable of making her own dreams come true, with out her mothers help.

I should really get you to talk to my SO, he always knows just the right thing to say to me when my parents get me down with that crap...

[Bobbiejeanne]

Can you talk on any other mediums? Like Facebook, AIM, or Skype?

Her Mother sounds like a piece of work, and I'm sorry you have to deal with that.

Also, can she got to a Military Academy? My SO isn't exactly rolling in the dough right now, and so he decided to sign up for the American Naval Academy. That means he get's a bachelor's degree, and then serves three years, and he's done. I would recommend it over just going straight into the military since you can get a great education.

After a certain point, her mother will have no say over what she does, especially if either you or she becomes monetarily independent. I would take that into account

Keep holding on! It's not over until she says so, get your thoughts positive! We're all hoping for the best for you!

[rjg4242]

Thanks for all the support!
No, her mother doesn't let her on their only computer unless she is supervising, and her school computers block those mediums. She lost her ipod a month ago when her mother found porn on it, which we had used for skype. Back when we first met she told me when she turned 17 her mother gave her the right to have her bedroom door closed. At that point I knew there was going to be an issue.

[DemonxOisin]

Yeah, I had a friend who´s dad wouldn´t allow her to have a door on her bedroom... That is so wrong to me >.< Can I just say, thank you for standing by her through all of that crap. It takes a real man to stay by a girls side when she has these kinds of issues, and let me tell you how appreciated it is! Much respect to you sir!

[Sharon Q]

Have her look into the Job corps. Its trade training and its free. They cover dorms, food, clothing everything, and she could go to one near you. If there is one there. BTW this is for US only.

they take ppl ages 18-24.

Once she is 18 she wont need her mothers approval to do this. She could have a friend take her to one near by and apply for it.

I'm leaving for it November 1st.