How should I deal with this?

[Daylan]

@heylittlekrissy: You know...I'm not even going to try to explain what just happened...she explained herself, and it made me feel better, but yet I feel as though something is missing. I'll put the conversation down below:

Me: I want to talk to you about something. Whenever you say that you'll text me after taking a nap or doing something, I don't ever hear from you until the next day when I text you or if I'm on blogtv and you're on there too. I don't know if you just forget or what, but I thought that I would just vocalize this and see what your side is.

Her: I normally turn my phone off when I'm going to sleep most time I don't turn it on till the morning and normally if I'm on blog at night I'm only on for a bit to say hi and I go back to bed...or I'm awake and it's like 5 am and you're probably asleep and I'm up for school by that point an I'm normally doing more than one thing at a time like I listen to (insert name here) while I'm getting ready or catching up on the rest of my homework. That's why I don't type much when I'm in there later and texting while doing that stuff kinda distracts me...that's why I keep my phone off till after school. If I text, I text. If I don't then I'm busy or I just forget because I have other things on my mind...I'm not a big texter in general lol. (So, I was mistaken about her being a texter) And sometimes I just don't wanna talk to anyone, I want me time which I don't get much of anymore. Don't take it personal.

Me: Right, I understand. If that's the case, the just tell me instead of making me wait for a text :P

Her: Okie dokie

Me: I know you've been busy lately and I figured that was one of the reasons, but it happened time and time again, so I had to ask.

Her: See, I'm exhausted by 7pm and if I fell asleep or go to bed and wake up, I don't know when I wake up during the night. It's not something I can predict, so I can't say I'll text you at that time so I say I'll text you when I wake up. Normally that means not during the night when I go back to bed is in the morning or after class when I get a chance to or when my phone is on cause I don't get your texts until after class. My cell stays off and in my locker. And like I said by the time I'm home I just wanna crash...I'm exhausted. That's why when I'm on blog I'm only on at random times and not for very long. I either go back to bed or get ready for school and you're normally asleep by then anyways, lol.

Me: Well, I usually stay up around 3-4 my time :P You could at least say hi lol. or something random I don't care :P

Her: You're 3-4 time I'm gone for school

ok, here's the deal: if she turns off her cell phone when she sleeps and turns it on in the morning -which is around 3 or 4 o'clock- then she could say good morning or just hi, I don't care...someone explain this to me :P haha. That's pretty much our conversation we had tonight. I want to see what you think about it and see if it sounds good or not because I had MANY questions throughout the whole thing, but it seems like she filled in all the cracks....

[Ms.Justine]

Hmm well perhaps she is just a really busy girl...But it really makes no excuse as to why she can't shoot you a quick message if she said she would... I mean she needs to understand that she is in a LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP and it takes a lot more effort than anything else. She needs to realize that by not following through...she's gonna push you away especially if you're craving attention from her.

Vocalize your problem, and let her know how it makes you feel. Emphasize that - as opposed to "You do this wrong, you don't make time for me, etc" It'll let her know that it's hurting you...let her know that you crave her attention.

[Daylan]

Hmm well perhaps she is just a really busy girl...But it really makes no excuse as to why she can't shoot you a quick message if she said she would... I mean she needs to understand that she is in a LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP and it takes a lot more effort than anything else. She needs to realize that by not following through...she's gonna push you away especially if you're craving attention from her.

Vocalize your problem, and let her know how it makes you feel. Emphasize that - as opposed to "You do this wrong, you don't make time for me, etc" It'll let her know that it's hurting you...let her know that you crave her attention.

I would do that, but I fear that I may come off a clingy again and she doesn't like clingy people. It's like I try to talk to her about it (like it was just shown) but sometimes I'm not satisfied with the answers because of the aforementioned problem I have (the clingy thing). And I don't want to tell her that it might or will push me away if she continues doing this because of (insert fear here). That's all that I really seem to have in this relationship is fear of losing her. Is this a bad thing or what because I'm completely new to the concept of a LDR? I've actually never been in a prosperous relationship ever (this being my longest and more fruitful, even though we never met) so I'm trying to do all the right things, all the while I feel like I'm failing. It is that she's getting busy, but like you said, it seems like she could just send me a text...but then just to do that, she'll have to turn on her phone, wait for it to boot up, send that message, then turn it back off when she is sleeping. (maybe that's just a sorry ass excuse I'm making for her)

[heylittlekrissy]

Well, I'm glad you talked to her about it. Atleast you got to hear her side of the story as to why she does these things. But you did mention that you feel like something is missing, and if that's the case, take the time for yourself to think about what it might be, and then focus on working on that with her. I don't think there's anything wrong with you asking her to make the attempt though, atleast some times, so if she doesn't, I would consider revisiting the topic at another time. Maybe let her know how much you would enjoy little texts when she wakes up in the middle of the night, even if you are asleep, and that it doesn't have to be an every night thing, but you'd enjoy it very much if she did it every so often. I, personally, try to let my SO the kinds of things I enjoy that he does, or try to compromise with him on others, by letting him know what it means to me, and how much I appreciate it, and while that may not work for everyone, atleast you can see where my advice is coming from. But never feel like you have to hold back how you're feeling; you should always be able to talk to your SO about anything that's on your mind. You may not get exactly what you want, but hopefully you two can compromise and come up with a "solution" (for lack of better words) that you're both comfortable with.

[Sharon Q]

My boyfriend is kind of how your girlfriend is. He doesn't need as much communication. For a good while this was hard to work with.

Why not get online earlier to talk to her, ask her if she can spare an hour a day for you. ?

Setting something up may work things out better.

It can work out but both of you have to try.