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How to cope with a jealous boyfriend

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    How to cope with a jealous boyfriend

    I am new to this site, so bear with me!! I have been with my boyfriend for 5 months. He is Turkish and I'm English, I'm sure I don't need to point out some of the difficulties we have, religion, language, culture etc etc, the list goes on!!!
    But, the main issue we have is that he gets really jealous. I don't want to generalise or stereotype but I do think it's down to his culture and religion and he has admitted this himself.

    He warned me right from the start that he gets jealous and that he worries a lot and I accepted it because he would always admit when he was being silly or say sorry when it got too much, and every other aspect of our relationship is so good. Lately though, he seems to not want to talk about it and i'm really struggling with this because i don't know how we will work things out if we don't talk?!! I want to add, he isn't controlling, he doesn't tell me what to wear or what i can and cant do, its all to do with men and mainly my ex (as i was with him for 5 years). I suppose my question is to anyone out there who has had a similar problem. How do you reassure someone and how can i help him cope with his jealousy. I have tried asking friends but no-one understands my relationship!!! Thanks!

    #2
    To be honest, if you are really not doing anything that should or would make him jealous, then there is really only so much reassuring that you are going to be able to do. We all have our moments of jealousy in any form of relationship it is just natural. However there does need to be trust involved to build any form of relationship and make it last.

    Continue talking to him about it. Reassuring that there is nothing that he needs to worry or be jealous about. Just keep things open as it seems you have. But in my own opinion, after awhile if jealously is a constant issue then you need to reassess things and maybe turn the conversation to trust.

    Good luck and welcome to LFAD!
    Got together Jan 3, 2011~ Closed the Distance March 23, 2012~ Living Together Since June 19 2012~ Future TBD......

    I miss you more than I ever could have believed; and I was prepared to miss you a good deal." ~ Vita Sackville-west

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      #3
      As someone on the other side (I get jealous for no reason), really simple things help that my SO says to reassure me. Things that include why our relationship is important, what we have etc. With CD you have constant reminders why the relationship is so strong, you come home to each other, you see one another's body language, you know that other people see out you out together. With LDR a huge piece is missing, sometimes it might feel fake or weird to have to verbalize all the things that reduce jealousy when you are together, but its the best we can do.

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        #4
        I get jealous sometimes with my guy and he sometimes gets jealous but I'm the only one who mentions. Usually when he reassures me, I instantly feel better about the situation and I know things are fine. When he gets jealous, I just tell him I love him and wouldn't want to be with anyone else. That tends to help it a little bit. But I agree, there is only so much you can do. Eventually it will get to a point where there is nothing you can say to reassure him if you two don't talk about things. I wish you the best of luck and again, welcome to LFAD

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          #5
          Thank you everyone for your input. We have been talking about it more recently and I think i have reassured him. I just want to feel trusted! I have told him this and he says he does so hopefully things will improve! Thanks again, i love being able to get advice from people in a similar situation as me!

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