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Anyone with kids?

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    Anyone with kids?

    So I'm just wondering how many of you all have kids from previous relationships? How old are they? How are you going to go about closing the distance when there is kids involved?
    I'm asking because I have 3 kids and me and my SO are a little over 1300 miles apart. He will soon be taking a job that will prevent him from moving here. So we will have to eventully move there. (and i'm ok with that) I'm just not sure how fisable and how soon that will be. Any advise would be helpful. Thanks

    #2
    I have an 8 year old and he has a 16 year old, who is a junior in high school. My SO does not want to move until his son graduates, which I understand completely. I've talked a lot with my son about how things might go and the possibility that we may have to move away from our home and at first he was not at all cool with the idea but the more we go up and visit my SO, I think he gets more comfortable with the idea - just so long as it isn't too soon. My advice is to just talk to them about it - get their thoughts and work on getting them used to the possibility. And if you can take them to visit, they can start to feel comfortable in the potential new place.

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      #3
      I have a 5 and 7 yo from a previous relationship. Which means for us that he has to move here as there is no way my ex husband would allow me to move the kids away! Which is real unfortunate, as we would have already closed the distance a long time ago!
      So he has to move here, but I hope that someday in the future when the kids are old enough to make their own choice on where they want to live, that we will move back to his country!

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        #4
        I have 10 & 11 years old daughters from my previous marriage. My SO & I have been together for over 9 years and live 3,000 miles apart... ecause of his career, he can't move here... so our plans are for my girls and I to move there hopefully next summer. Its a tough decision but we are confident that it is the right one.

        Feel free to private message me if you want to chat about this!

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          #5
          Originally posted by cybunny View Post
          I have a 5 and 7 yo from a previous relationship. Which means for us that he has to move here as there is no way my ex husband would allow me to move the kids away! Which is real unfortunate, as we would have already closed the distance a long time ago!
          So he has to move here, but I hope that someday in the future when the kids are old enough to make their own choice on where they want to live, that we will move back to his country!
          My situation exactly, except my oldest is 9.

          Talk to the children as best you can about the situation. Do lots of research on the area you'll be moving to and show the children pictures of the area too so it doesn't seem strange. Don't rush into anything, take it slowly and keep the children informed with whats going on as best you can. If they feel involved in making the decision they are more likely to embrace a change.

          ---------- Post added at 08:02 AM ---------- Previous post was at 08:02 AM ----------

          Originally posted by cybunny View Post
          I have a 5 and 7 yo from a previous relationship. Which means for us that he has to move here as there is no way my ex husband would allow me to move the kids away! Which is real unfortunate, as we would have already closed the distance a long time ago!
          So he has to move here, but I hope that someday in the future when the kids are old enough to make their own choice on where they want to live, that we will move back to his country!
          My situation exactly, except my oldest is 9.

          Talk to the children as best you can about the situation. Do lots of research on the area you'll be moving to and show the children pictures of the area too so it doesn't seem strange. Don't rush into anything, take it slowly and keep the children informed with whats going on as best you can. If they feel involved in making the decision they are more likely to embrace a change.
          As long as there is air in my lungs... there is a chance

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            #6
            I have a 9 year old son and my SO has 3 daughters, the youngest of which is also 9. Since we live in different countries and he doesn't want to leave his daughters while they are children, and since I won't uproot my son even if my ex would allow it, we're stuck waiting 9 years. He might consider moving here sooner if we could find a way to pay for frequent flights back to see his daughters, but there are complications in that plan too.

            I hope it isn't 9 years. But I've resigned myself to it.

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              #7
              Although I dont have children, I was a child when our family moved and then my parents split up shortly after. After some time my mum met someone in the town we used to live in. At the time I was 8 and although I dont remember it too well, I remember the day I first met my mum's now husband. He had come with her to pick us up from school. From there we would spend time with him every now and then before he eventually moved up here(he didnt have kids). Like one time when we went down there he played with us in his backyard. And I found this helped me for when he finally moved here because I already knew him. Just my thoughts from the kids perspective.

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                #8
                My son will be 10 this summer and his son will be 2 next month.

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