dont want to do it anymore...

[megfashion]

so last weekend, we had a lovely time together. i left, as always, in tears. but it was bearable and managable. i managed not to be upset infront of him.

today we had a day visit with his friend, ollie. he had to leave at the last bit because i was in hysterics infront of the SO. its never been that bad.

i just dont want this long distance anymore.....

i want to be with him, yes, just not through this distance. i want him here, or me over there. but because of stupid education itll be like this for 4-8 years.

i dont know how you all do it. its just getting that bit too much now. every time we see each other its all happy, and everything feels complete, but then theres always the leaving. UGH.

[Rugger]

We do it because we have to, not because we want to. Being without him is a more painful alternative.

[Biddlybiddlybombop]

Well, in that case, you have to ask yourself: Is he worth that pain?

[nic&matt]

I just did that too I hate leaving...and I hate ruining a trip by only thinking about the leaving part...
I wish I had a definite answer, for both of us, but I don't. I'm in the same "stupid education I really need to get but want to be with my SO" boat. I've been seriously considering going to his school...but I don't want to sacrifice something like that either...I think if his college has the thing your interested in and you can get a good education, I would totally go for it!

[megfashion]

i know its worth it... after 4 to 8 years or whatever, i know we will live just fine...
but its 4 to 8 years. i cant deal with these 2 months being away from him, let alone 4 or 8 years

its a nice idea, going to him. but he is in uni. the year i go to uni is the year he is on placement (not near plymouth). second year we would be together, yes, but then for another 2 years we would be long distance. itd be so messy that way.

UGH. i wish he would just come here. i wish he wasnt uni interested or i wasnt interested in uni, and so we could just be together. goddamit.

[Sharon Q]

None of us do this because we want to, If we all had the choice we would be with our SO. None of us like the waiting game.
And its going to get hard a points but you have to remember why you are doing this because you love him.

I know its really hard, just keep looking toward the end result.

[Kerry]

We do it because we have to, not because we want to. Being without him is a more painful alternative.

beautifully said!

[Moon]

Well, to be honest, not everybody is cut out to be in an LDR. You have to go into it knowing there will be a lot of leaving, and be prepared for it before you ever make the decision. It's not easy. If you want this relationship to work, you have to stop thinking 4 - 8 years, and think visit to visit instead. If you can't, you might really have to seriously think if this is something you can do, and if it's truly worth pursuing for you. Good luck.

[carolynred]

I agree with Moon, look at it as a visit-to-visit time span. I'm pretty sure that's how me and my SO have confidence in conquering the next 4 years of schooling. You CAN do it though, there will just be those up and down times, but in the end it will all be worth it. Plus it'll make an amazing and inspiring story for everyone.

[megfashion]

I agree with Moon, look at it as a visit-to-visit time span. I'm pretty sure that's how me and my SO have confidence in conquering the next 4 years of schooling. You CAN do it though, there will just be those up and down times, but in the end it will all be worth it. Plus it'll make an amazing and inspiring story for everyone.

thanks... and to moon too. i think ill take that advice.
its just so frickin draining.

hugs to everyone

[Reuschel]

I agree with Moon, look at it as a visit-to-visit time span. I'm pretty sure that's how me and my SO have confidence in conquering the next 4 years of schooling. You CAN do it though, there will just be those up and down times, but in the end it will all be worth it. Plus it'll make an amazing and inspiring story for everyone.

Took the words out of my mouth.

[Zephii]

No one wants to do it, unfortunately there are no good options. I wouldn't do 8 years though, not as an adult. Hell, I don't think I would do four either. Education is important, but it is still a choice. You can both choose to make each other a priority and work the rest of your lives around that. Yes, the risk is higher, much higher if the realtionship fails, but what is life without risk? Any of us could die at any time, we need to live the life we are given now - not live for an uncertain future.
Or that's my 2c anyway.

That aside, remember you are not alone and that it is possible. You can do this.

[Semperfikindoflove]

I know it's hard but keep your head up. At times it will be unbearable but you'll find that as the days go by you get more and more use to it. Try to count down between the times you see each other also try to start a countdown until you two will permanently be together. I've been through multiple deployments, boot camp, and training as the girlfriend of a Marine. It is so hard so I understand where you are coming from. I do, just try to look at the positive. Right now I'm counting down to see my SO for the first time in 11 months. I know it will be hard to be away from him again but then when I leave, I just start the next countdown. We usually only see each other twice a year for a few days at a time. Be positive, look at the bright side, and remember that being with him is so much more worth it, waiting for him is worth it, and your love is worth it. You're stronger than a lot of people are who can't handle long distance relationships. Keep your head up! If you need anything don't hesitate to ask!

[Mara]

I do this because if I didn't, we wouldn't be together, and I want to be with him. If this is the only way we can be together then I will work with it. It's incredibly hard though. Incredibly, incredibly hard.

[ferakin]

I think most posters have hit the nail on the head here:
It's not a choice we make - but there is no alternative for us!

If he's really worth it, it will happen. There'll be lots of tears, misconstrued words online, jealous bouts due to facebook comments, absolute physical yearning for just a hand to hold, sleepless nights, might even be some resentment in there too, but it will all be made worth while by the peace you feel when you're in his arms.
If being with your SO makes you feel the safest, happiest and most complete ever, then make the effort to make it happen.
It's completely worth it, IMO.