For someone who is just begining a LDR...

[katieandmclane]

I've known my BF for a few months and we just started dating yesterday! I live in Colorado and he lives in Texas. What are some tips for us since we are just getting started?

Thanks!

[Sharon Q]

-Trust and honesty are key

- Get a web cam ( makes talking so much easier )

- Don't over do the talking.

My best friend was long distance with his girlfriend and she texted him 24/7 non stop except for when she was asleep it drove him crazy. Just remember moderation is key when it comes to texting and calling.

- Do a little something to make them feel special on occasion. Doing something special helps prevent doubt.

- doubt will happen and when it does talk about it so that your SO and yourself can reassure one another of the relationship.

- Mail things when you can. Its a nice surprise when they get stuff in the mail ( my SO loves it )

[katieandmclane]

he is getting a webcam, he should get it by wednesday. and lately we have been texting constantly, but i think thats cause we are just starting out... i'm not sure... we both really want this to work, and i know it is gonna be hard... i just hope that we can make it.


thank you for your ideas. they are very helpful.

---------- Post added at 04:19 PM ---------- Previous post was at 04:15 PM ----------

but how much texting is too much? and how do i ask him if he thinks we are texting too much?

[Sharon Q]

well replying to his text is fine, just dont mass send him texts and when you text him wait for him to reply.
My friends GF didn't even go 5 minutes without texting him.

And if you want to ask just say " hey am I bugging you with texting so much? "

Really in a relationship all you have to do is be honest. If you feel you may be driving them nuts than ask. lol

[Sora1101]

but how much texting is too much? and how do i ask him if he thinks we are texting too much?

I honestly don't think you can text too much, it all depends on the relationship really, my SO and I text 24/7 and neither of us get annoyed, we actually hate when we have to stop texting.

If you want to ask him be straightforward about it just ask "hey do you think we're texting too much I'm not sure if it's bothering you or not." simple as that.

[Swederica]

It all depends on what stage you're in and how comfortable you are with eachother. Basically all Sharon's points are valid, just want to add a bit.
Should you happen to make a mistake in the heat of battle, so to speak, do not, I repeat, do not try to hide it. My former girlfriend made that mistake twice and it ruined all possible trust.
As Sharon said trust and honesty is the key, they save eachother. You break the trust, then honesty is the only way to mend it quickly. Of course see it more like a one-time usage life saver that is only as effective as your SO is at understanding and forgiving.
Texting and talking, that can only you two decide on how much is too much. Some people are allergic to having their personal space intruded upon too much and/or to let someone too close inside your life due to past experiences. As long as you have something not too repetitive to say, something he can reply to, relate to or in any other way contains any sort of information of value should be alright. Yes a text saying "I love you!" is something of value though if 20% or more of your texts contain that message it's too much
Talking, it's the same thing there. Try to enter some sort of routine, like calling every night so you can share what's happened during the day, with maybe the added "Hi I just got back from school/work/some event etc. and wanted to say hello". Earlier I used to call my former girlfriend every morning to wake her up. That became a routine, I was her alarm clock of sorts. Once more, you're the only ones who can and who ultimately will set the boundaries for how much to talk and text. Everyone's different and every relationship is different. Just make sure, as Sharon said, to be honest at all times no matter how much the honesty will hurt. Because, trust me, that honesty is going to hurt alot less then the knowledge that either of you have been/still are hiding things of that nature from the other.

[yayagrl]

All the points made above are awesome and true. Communication, trust, and honesty are the basis of any relationship close distance or long distance. Doesn't matter. Some people text their SO all day every day some don't text at all. Every relationship is different and you just have to figure out what is right for you. Also for the first couple months of my SO and I's relationship we didn't do vid chats because he didn't have a web cam. I bought him one for his birthday (Oct. 4th) and it's the best investment I've ever made. It just added to our modes of communication and it's awesome because you don't have to speak all the time to make it entertaining and fun. You can just sit there and watch each other. It works great for me on those days when I miss him terribly. BTW my so lives in CO.

[Mara]

Communication is the biggest thing. When you are long distance a lot of your relationship is going to rely on how while the two of you can communicate and connect without being in person. I also think it's good to remember to just take things a day at a time. LDRs can get overwhelming fast if you think too far in the future.

[Ms.Justine]

read the e-book michelle and frank have made!

[Semperfikindoflove]

1. Remember that LDRs are complicated and aren't always easy. It means a lot of time apart and a little time together.
2. Never give up if you can help it, time is just a number, and distance is only as far as you make it.
3. It isn't a permanent situation, some day you two will be together.
4. Love is worth the wait.
5. Talk as often as you can and cherish every minute.
6. There will be days when you want to quit but think about the happy memories.
7. Be patient, be kind, and be understanding.
8. This experience will help you grow as a person.
9. Rely on other LDR individuals if you need something, they are a good source of information.
10. If you need anything just ask!

Welcome to LFAD and good luck!

[katieandmclane]

Thank you all so much. About the texting thing, I asked him and he said that it doesnt ever annoy him so I told him to tell me if it ever does. I bought him a webcam, and it should be there soon. And thank you all for the advice. I am taking it all to heart. I'm so glad I found this site.