Visa denied...

[kittyo9]

My country: USA
My age: 21
His country: Peru
His age: 22
How long we've been together: 1 year 2 months
Times we've met: 0

My boyfriend lives in Peru and doesn't really have a lot of money, but he's been saving up for a trip to come see me for nearly a year now. However, I don't know why we waited so long (I'm very, very sure I told him to do it earlier but he just never got to it), but he was denied a tourist (B-2) visa last week, and now we are scrambling to make our first meeting happen. He was denied on the premise that he does not have enough ties to Peru to keep him from immigrating. I would argue, however, that he does, but he did not have the opportunity to show the interviewer his supporting documents besides his enrollment at his university because he was hesitant in his interview.

Because the only time he has to visit is this coming winter break (summer for him), we are doing everything possible to reapply ASAP and make it worth it. I've gotten my parents on board and had them write a letter saying that we will support him while he is here (so he will not become a charge of the US) and stuff... we've gotten even more things to prove he will go back to Peru (like a letter from the person he works for-- it's research, so it's not a full-time job, but he also has school).

Anyway, I'm obviously new to this... and I'm completely terrified that he'll get denied again. Has anyone been through this? Does anyone have a happy ending for me? =/

[mllebamako]

Sorry to hear this. I hope that his new documents will help him get the tourist visa. I know how it feels though, I would have loved for my SO to come to the US, but with him being young, African, and not rich...we didn't even try. But hopefully with your SOs documents (letters and uni papers), he'll get the visa. Have you thought of a plan B though? Maybe you could go to him?

[kittyo9]

I want that to be an option, and really it should be an option, but my mom (I know, I know, I'm 21, I should be making decisions on my own...) will not give me her blessing until she has met him first. I am definitely going, regardless of what she thinks, in August of 2012, but that's a long time from now and we were both really hoping to have met before then.

[snow_girl]

Could she not meet him via skype a few times? That would put her mind at ease a bit more by talking to him, seeing him and getting a feel for what he is like. Good luck with the visa, they can be really challenging if you are not fortunate enough to be born in the right place.

[Bethypoo]

That sucks! Im sorry! My boyfriend and I only live a few states away so I have no idea what I could say to help other than possibly thinking of a back up plan. Anyway, I hope it works out and let us know as it does.

[kittyo9]

He does not have a webcam, but he has been borrowing his friend's microphone for a couple months. The possibility of my mom skyping with him has been brought up, and she has shown interest in it. However, she is also concerned with safety. She likes to reference the incident of a girl who was abducted in Italy a few years ago. I have tried to explain to her that I will not be alone, but because she has not met him, she does not accept this. So really the only backup plan I have is to go in August, whether or not I can convince her to be okay with it.

[CynicalQuixotic]

I think a Skype meeting with your mother is a really great idea, to assuage her fears. I'm sorry that she is making things difficult, and I do admire you for trying to make sure that she feels comfortable with your relationship. I wouldn't have the patience, but, I'm a little bit of a brat sometimes, admittedly.

Would it be possible for you to visit him during your break? I would think it would be much easier for you to get into Peru than vice versa. It infuriates me sometimes, the arrogance of the US in their border policies.

[kittyo9]

I know right... Sometimes I get so mad at myself for having these first-world privileges when my boyfriend does not. I can't exactly help it, but it just seems really unfair, especially because he has to pay more to see me than I do to see him, and on a third-world country budget. Everything points to it being easier in nearly every way for me to go see him, but my mom is so overprotective. At least his mom wants him to get out and se the world (and me).

[Kelly.92]

Sorry to hear about the failed Visa that is a massive downer... But stay strong, with all the extra documents and all hopefully your lucky this time round.

Definitely try for the Skype session some time, I am sure your SO could get a webcam for an evening off someone? That way your mum can be reassured!

I have my fingers crossed for you both

[CynicalQuixotic]

I know right... Sometimes I get so mad at myself for having these first-world privileges when my boyfriend does not. I can't exactly help it, but it just seems really unfair, especially because he has to pay more to see me than I do to see him, and on a third-world country budget. Everything points to it being easier in nearly every way for me to go see him, but my mom is so overprotective. At least his mom wants him to get out and se the world (and me).

While Peru is not the US, calling it a third world country is pretty offensive. Peru has industry, large cities, and is relatively politically stable. Now I'm even more for you visiting Peru. Do you have enough money to buy yourself a plane ticket? Honestly, if I were you, I would try to organize a Skype meeting before you go and if your mother still objects, tell her that you're an adult and get over there with your own money. But, as I said, I have very little patience for being infantilized by my parents.

[kittyo9]

Sorry if that came off as offensive. As far as I know, Peru is classified as a developing country, much like Turkey (I only bring this up because my roommate of four years is from Turkey). My boyfriend is very lighthearted about it ("We still haven't discovered fire yet").

The trip was never going to be funded by my mom. I take full responsibility for it and I have more than enough saved up.

---------- Post added at 01:54 PM ---------- Previous post was at 01:49 PM ----------

Nobody has had this happen to them (visa denied)? =(

[lucybelle]

While Peru is not the US, calling it a third world country is pretty offensive. Peru has industry, large cities, and is relatively politically stable. Now I'm even more for you visiting Peru. Do you have enough money to buy yourself a plane ticket? Honestly, if I were you, I would try to organize a Skype meeting before you go and if your mother still objects, tell her that you're an adult and get over there with your own money. But, as I said, I have very little patience for being infantilized by my parents.

Peru is a third world country. Even if it does have industry and large cities. It's okay to call a country what it is. Even though Costa Rica is much more developed and stable than most of Central America, it's still considered a third world country. And here I am writing on a computer, using electricity, and wifi internet. There's still reasons why it's not yet considered "developed". It's not offensive.

But I digress... Get as many letters, bank statements, and even mail sent to him together as possible. Hopefully he'll get his visa. It's difficult. Luckily my SO was sponsored through his job, otherwise he probably wouldn't have gotten one either.

Is there any way both you and your mom could go to Peru?

[Sunbeam]

I haven't had this happen, but my S.O. has a visa interview on the 29th, so *crosses fingers* I hope he gets it.

[kittyo9]

Is there any way both you and your mom could go to Peru?

No, my mom does not have the time, money, or desire to go to Peru with me. If she came, we would have to get a hotel (ugh, more money...) and I would have to take her with me everywhere. No fun for her. Plus I'm looking at staying for 3-4 weeks, while she usually can only take 1 week breaks.

[CynicalQuixotic]

Peru is a third world country. Even if it does have industry and large cities. It's okay to call a country what it is. Even though Costa Rica is much more developed and stable than most of Central America, it's still considered a third world country. And here I am writing on a computer, using electricity, and wifi internet. There's still reasons why it's not yet considered "developed". It's not offensive.

I'm really not trying to be snarky or derail the thread, but, according to who? This is my problem with the label of "third world country": how do we define a country as such? Yes, the gap between the rich and the poor is vast in Peru, but that's also true in India, which I don't think anyone would call "third world."

The widespread opinion that countries outside of the US, Europe, and China are all populated with poor, huddled masses of people who walk 5 miles a day for water and live on a dollar a day bothers me, but I'm sure it bothers you too, as someone currently living in Costa Rica. That was more of what I was responding to. Although, I dated a guy for a short time who comes from Peru and is very involved in Peruvian politics, and I trust his opinion that Peru is a developing nation, so I can admit my bias in that regard.