Lack of Compassion from others

[Lizzie2579]

I know exactly how you feel. I am English and Im with a Turkish guy so as well as people thinking im crazy because of the distance, I have all the cultural differences, language problems etc etc to deal with too. On top of that I get constant comments about how he just wants a visa or money. I don't really have support from anyone! One thing I always think though, is that, if you can get through all of that then it will make you really strong....and how nice to prove all the doubters wrong!!!

[LuvSsw]

No one in my life understands either. When you are in love..you are in love that's it! No one can trade their heart or mind with yours so how can they feel what you feel We all take our experiences seriously...'Live on Purpose' y'know? As for being too young to know love or committment...I was your age when I met my first love..everyone said the same thing to me..we ended up being together for almost Twenty years

[CanadianGirl]

Ignore them. It's why I signed up on here, I couldn't stand hearing about how LDRs are pointless and not real. I'd do anything for this man, just try and tell me it's not real. Not many of my friends are in relationships either, so commitment in general is puzzling to them still. I can't tell you how angry I get when they question why I bother. They just don't know. My friend's boyfriend is frigging intolerable sometimes. Telling me that I shouldn't cling to my phone the way I do (so I get my SOs text as soon as possible). When I was moping to my friend about how my SO's internet died for a week, the boyfriend laughed at me. Screw you, buddy. You live in your girlfriend's HOUSE. You'll never understand how this feels until you've done it yourself.

Either way, you know what you want and you'll do anything to get it. Not many people have that kind of force in their lives. They're being pretty useless and dismissive by discouraging you, so ignore them. We're here if you need us

[megfashion]

To be fair, people around me have been quite supportive and understanding... in theory. But when it comes to making it work, they don't understand that LDR asks for a specific lifestyle as well. For example, my family and friends usually laugh at me (and sometimes are annoyed for no reason) because I tend to keep my phone with me at all times. I don't mess with it when I'm with people as that would be rude, but I like to have it near. And if I notice the message arrived, I'll take a look the first chance I get. I don't even reply right away. But just seeing the message from him makes me feel like he's there with me. Even just having the phone with me enables me to get that message - the connection is there even if there's no message.

Texting is the main way of contact we have for weeks or months. I don't have the luxury of coming home to my SO after a night out with friends. I'm not going to see him tomorrow or at the weekend. This is all we have.
When I'm visiting and he's away at work, I don't have the need to talk to him until he gets home, because I know I'll see him that day. But when we're apart, the best way we can keep connection is if we stay dipped in each other's lives. That's the dynamics of our relationship and people don't seem to understand that.

*completely* agree with this. all the people around me are always saying "why do you have your phone out all the time?", to which i usually reply with "because otherwise we wouldnt talk until about 10pm. got a problem?"

some people are supportive... however there is one person who isnt, even though she has a brother who has gone off to uni away from them (yeh. exactly.) she is the one who does actually act like a b**ch about everything and saying i always talk about him and always text him.
i replied to her with "have you ever thought i miss him and if i didnt talk about him itd be like he never exsisted? when graham left (SO's dad) i always talked about him to keep him there with me. i use the phone because i cant stand him not being here so talking to him makes it easier".

she still doesnt get it.... waste of breath :P




ignore those who dont appreciate how hard an LDR is, because if they cant support you, you couldnt support them...

[crystaldragonix]

My 2 cents. I feel where your coming from. I have been in an LDR for 5 years...and counting. College is our obstacle. Take my advice DO NOT LISTEN TO YOUR FRIENDS. They are not in your situation. My experience: my friends have contributed to two past breakups with my ldr...oh you'll find someone else...oh he's not committed...he's a mama's boy...don't wait around your wasting your youth. I've heard it all and the only thing it got me was a pain in the ass and tears in my eyes. If your friends really care they would just be a listening ear and don't give any advice because they are are not you. If possible try not to even talk about the situation because you'll just get yourself worked up and for what, the situation is still the same. So find constructive ways to build your relationship i.e. this website I'm telling you once I've stopped listening to friends advice my relationship actually improved and we are committed to making it all the way through undergrad and grad.

Good Luck

[Hildy]

No one in my life understands either. When you are in love..you are in love that's it! No one can trade their heart or mind with yours so how can they feel what you feel We all take our experiences seriously...'Live on Purpose' y'know? As for being too young to know love or committment...I was your age when I met my first love..everyone said the same thing to me..we ended up being together for almost Twenty years

That's very inspirational. Thank you!

[Silvaria]

Hildy, the comment above your top ticker says it all: "Distance means so little when someone means so much."