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    What do you think?

    Alright, so here it plain and simple. I'm having a LDR with an older girl who is older than me by 3 ages and is of legal age now so she's really 18. I'm wondering on how common this is among teenagers and such. Both of your Parents (Parent for me), know and approve of our relationship but the thing is, is the legal issues. She wants to visit me and I want visit her but nooooo, our parent(s) think that the other will press charges against my girlfriend for being a "Pedophile". I'm honestly confused on why it's such a big deal, I'll admit that I do understand a little bit of it as to why, but still you think that they would actually let us visit each other after all this time because I've been dating her for 5 months now and we're still staying strong.
    Start of LDR: December 2009
    First met: August 2008
    First meeting irl: Never
    Break up: February 8 2012

    Price of relationship: Pain
    Price of the memories: Priceless
    I'll always know that she was my first love that I took seriously.
    I'll miss you, Vanessa.

    I may young and stupid but I can't help it at all.

    #2
    First, unless you're carrying around signs stating your ages, some asshole knows, or you two have a very obvious age difference, then nobody should report him.

    Then it depends on where you live. If this is international and one of you is in the US, then one of you needs to be 18 regardless of age of consent where the other lives. That only applies to sexual interaction though. If your relationship is for the most part platonic then she's just on the FBI watch list. If you're in the same country...no clue. Can you answer some of these first before I give an answer? :P

    1) What countries do you two live in? If in the US, what states?
    2) Do you plan to have sex before you turn 18?
    3) Can I borrow a dollar? (not really, but I just wanted to ask 3 questions :P)

    Comment


      #3
      lol, that was a fast reply but to answer your questions

      1). We both live in the US, She's in California and I'm in the boring state called Iowa lol

      2). I honestly don't have an answer to question really. Never thought about it

      3). Neva! >:O my dollar! xD
      Start of LDR: December 2009
      First met: August 2008
      First meeting irl: Never
      Break up: February 8 2012

      Price of relationship: Pain
      Price of the memories: Priceless
      I'll always know that she was my first love that I took seriously.
      I'll miss you, Vanessa.

      I may young and stupid but I can't help it at all.

      Comment


        #4
        Dollar! ;_;!

        In California, your relationship is nothing more than a misdemeanor. You're fine in her state.

        In Iowa, it's better. Because she's only 3 years older (limit is 4), there's an age exemption so you two can legally be together and even have a sexual relationship.

        Comment


          #5
          Eh......There's a law on it in Iowa?! O_O; I did not know that at all. I've honestly wondered about all this stuff and well still would like to see someone else's opinion on this. No offense to you or anything, I just like getting more than one answer on somethings. So basically it's all really okay in our relationship but o-o; sadly I do not know the definition of misdemeanor so explain it in simpler terms? Also, from your point of view as a complete stranger, what do you honestly think about a LDR like this?
          Start of LDR: December 2009
          First met: August 2008
          First meeting irl: Never
          Break up: February 8 2012

          Price of relationship: Pain
          Price of the memories: Priceless
          I'll always know that she was my first love that I took seriously.
          I'll miss you, Vanessa.

          I may young and stupid but I can't help it at all.

          Comment


            #6
            I know, no offense taken :P. A misdemeanor is basically a very minor crime. It's the kind of stuff you get a ticket for. An example would be a speeding ticket. Those never show up when you're applying to college or a job so they don't affect you (unless you're on probation). It's nothing more than a slap on a wrist, but since relationships of your ages are so common in California are so common, they rarely ever even get the ticket. Her chances of getting in trouble all depend on whether she's a gang member or involved in the drug cartels and they're desperate to catch her XP.

            Now, as for your relationship. It all depends on the situation. I have a friend who has almost the exact same age difference with her boyfriend. He's 15 and she's 18 in about 2 months. They're sorta long distance with only an hour apart (lucky hoes ;_;!). I know those two have a great relationship and is so much better than her last relationship with a friend of mine (much longer distance) that all went to hell when he tried to sleep with her on their only visit then dumped her a few weeks later XP. The ex is 19 by the way. Personally, I think if you two are happy and following the laws then I got nothing bad to say. I wish you two the best of luck in meeting.

            Oh wait, I should probably link you the laws! Hold on.

            California and Iowa. They weren't in the same website XP. For California, you really only need to read a and b unless you're curious.

            Comment


              #7
              o_o wow...... Actual laws on this stuff.... Did not know it existed, lol. Well, I thank you for clearing up some of these for me. Our parent(s) are still scared that apparently my parent will press charges against her for being a pedophile but there is actual proof that it wouldn't be pedophile stuff and junk. >3>; now maybe she can come for the festival in May if I can get her parents to see the law on the stuff and junk like that. It's actually to know that I'm not the only one that is in the same LDR as me. I thought I was alone for a second or two.
              Start of LDR: December 2009
              First met: August 2008
              First meeting irl: Never
              Break up: February 8 2012

              Price of relationship: Pain
              Price of the memories: Priceless
              I'll always know that she was my first love that I took seriously.
              I'll miss you, Vanessa.

              I may young and stupid but I can't help it at all.

              Comment


                #8
                Go Darth_Taco with your informative bad self :P

                For you to further understand, AsianRawr!, there have been media coverage on relationships of older women who had gone to meet underage guys and were pressed charges. There was one lady who was even sent to jail. No good. Although, the parents I think in those situations didn't know about the relationships. BUT, I can see how yours and her parents could be concerned. Anyone could press charges if it's against the law in that state. They're taken quite seriously because they're there for child predators. Here's a link to one of the more recent stories I heard of:

                https://news.cnet.com/8301-17852_3-10429071-71.html

                Edit: The Globe and Mail had a better article, but you need a sub to see it. Bleh :/ You can see the jist of it there tho.
                Last edited by Alisz; April 27, 2010, 01:12 AM.

                Comment


                  #9
                  Dude... It's times like these when I love living in England.... Age of consent is 16 and you don't really get done for it either way...

                  Comment


                    #10
                    this is awesome! i'm two years older than Garrett, my SO. i turn 18 in less than 2 months now, and he doesn't turn 16 'til september. this conversation applies very much to me! glad to see i'm not the only older woman out there haha. i don't have very much information for you but try to get your parents to talk. if neither parent would press charges i really think it would be ok to visit. hope everything works out!

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Originally posted by AsianRawr! View Post
                      lol, that was a fast reply but to answer your questions

                      1). We both live in the US, She's in California and I'm in the boring state called Iowa lol


                      DON"T HATE ON IOWA!!!!

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Originally posted by AllieOOp View Post
                        DON"T HATE ON IOWA!!!!
                        XD too bad! I did cause it is boring~ Barely anything here, lol but it's still nice place to live. I didn't think that there some people out there in the same situation, you can call it, but anyway I'm really glad that I've gotten some input on all this stuff that has me wondering so much about a few things
                        Start of LDR: December 2009
                        First met: August 2008
                        First meeting irl: Never
                        Break up: February 8 2012

                        Price of relationship: Pain
                        Price of the memories: Priceless
                        I'll always know that she was my first love that I took seriously.
                        I'll miss you, Vanessa.

                        I may young and stupid but I can't help it at all.

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Originally posted by AsianRawr! View Post
                          XD too bad! I did cause it is boring~ Barely anything here, lol but it's still nice place to live. I didn't think that there some people out there in the same situation, you can call it, but anyway I'm really glad that I've gotten some input on all this stuff that has me wondering so much about a few things
                          I lived in Des Moines for 4 years (for college) I thought it was awesome! and fun! and i took many adventurous around the state.. still do since Iowa is only an hour and half away!

                          Comment


                            #14
                            How would accuse her anyway?

                            Comment


                              #15
                              @So_Far_Away... indeed it is so much easier, age of consent 16, if you are over 16, do what you want! so liberating :P haha

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