Newb to LDRelationships

[Nathair]

So my boyfriend and I haven't been together a terribly long time, but we met (in person) and have spent every day together since the time we started dating.
I just moved to Scotland 2 days ago, we have gone from being 3 miles apart to being 3,344 miles apart.
I just don't know what to do or how to handle it.
Neither of us know how to do a "distance" relationship.
I feel like without the physical/romantic side the relationship will just crumble and fall.
We are so used to being around each other, and now we can't do anything we used to do, its like starting from square one.
How do you deal with this kind of thing?

[crystaldragonix]

My best advice:
-SKYPE as often as you can. Set official dates in advance just in case you get busy. Dress up for the camera.
-Send texts throughout the day. If you have a smart phone text pics of cool things you run into, makes it feel like he is sharing the moment.
-build trust - the last thing you need is commitment issues
-find LDRs in your community for support. Don't ask friends that are not LDRs they will kill the relationship...trust me.
-send ecards for special occasions or just randomly...i think random is the best.
-save up for visits in advance. Set up a digital countdown on your desktop. Exchanges gifts when you see each other.
-create a couples website - post pics...kinda like a shrine.
-do things together online...games, movies anything.
-set a date that you will close the distance. Very important, it will drive you up close a wall if you don't have one.
Once you have a date. KEEP BUSY. An idle mind can be dangerous. Spend your time on this website if you get worried.

Let me know if that helps. I'm LDR of 5 years so I'm practically a professional lol

[rhomy]

Totally agree with Crystaldragonix
Also it's very important for both of you to know it won't be long distance for ever and the best way to keep it strong is by sharing even the little stuff, so you'll feel closer to each other.

Welcome to LFAD! I hope you find the site as helpful as I do.

[Nathair]

wow, that is incredible advice
thank you!!!!

[Bethypoo]

I agree with everything crystaldragonx said.

I would add to that what i have found to help me and that is communication. When you are in a CD relationship you have body language that can tell you when something is wrong. But if there is something that is bothering you, about the relationship or in general really, you need to express that with him. Game playing in general is obviously a bad thing but it is even worse in an LDR. It can lead to mistrust and contempt. So just tell him what is going on with you and when/if you are upset dont try to hide it. And ask him to do the same to you.[COLOR="Silver"]

[uniquefem]

Welcome to the forum!

hehe Crystaldragonix sum most of fun things to do while LDR

I will add snail mail is actually help me out, because this things you could collect and more personalized (you could put parfume) or put pictures of your recent activities. Exchange diaries every once a month also a sweet idea.. haha i love to see his handwriting style that very different than mine (he use the European letters and mine like Japanese comic book letters)

Its just fun when he receive the stuff i sent and look at his face at skype webcam

I am pretty sure other members from here could suggest or give you ideas of fun things to do while you miss your SO and ohh ya... its not distance that ruin most of LDR.. its the doubt!

Good luck!

[Minerva]

Awesome suggestions so far, but I just want to second Skype. Being able to Skype with my SO keeps me sane. Just seeing him helps put things right in my mind, and being able to see his smile and hear his laugh is worth 1000 texts.

[kiara_silver]

What everyone else has said is good advice.
I think the two biggest things in a LDR are Trust and Communication. My SO is in Scotland, and im over in the US so I can relate to your situation. Being so far apart is hard, but it's very possible to have a relationship with distance. I think planning and knowing when to talk, if one is busy and the other is home waiting around to talk, that can bring you down. So know when and what times to be on, and if you have to schedule it in advance. The little things are big, such as a small text or message before you go out for the day, little things can keep you going. Love notes and letters on special occasions, Bieng open about your feelings and what you need or what's bothering you. Best of wishes to you and your SO!

[sjaneec5]

I have a skype related question. I always want to talk on the phone and skype but my SO never wants to. He will either straight out say he doesn't want to or sometimes he will say he will then when it comes time to do it he says he is tired or has homework. This really upsets me because I normally go to bed early but I always stay up texting him and last night I actually waited up for him and put makeup on and everything and finally he finishes his homework and says he's tired. It frustrates me because its something I really want to do and I feel that it could grow our relationship but he acts like its just silly and has better things to do. What do I say to him to get him to understand how I feel and to get him to want to do it!

[crystaldragonix]

I know this is years later because i just saw this...but he might be a catchfish if you met him online. Usually people who don't want to meet in person or on the phone are not who they say they are. Good luck!

[Miasmata]

The user in question hasn't been around in ages, you can see that in the profile. Your post will likely not be read by the OP, sorry! Better invest that effort in threads where people will actually still read it.