What a birthday gift

[heylittlekrissy]

I've contacted him, and he has not responded.

But I agree, he needs to make a decision and tell me, instead of letting this drag on. I'll wait, if I have to, because I do love this boy; but I can't wait forever.

[Sharon Q]

I used to have a history of self harm and depression as did my SO, it took three years of off and on dating and professional help for both of us in order to have a healthy relationship. People who deal with depression or other mental illnesses can work out but it takes work from both sides in order for it to be healthy.

I just hope this girl isnt using self harm to manipulate them. Stuff like that is just wrong.

If they both deal with depression it would take a lot of work to keep it healthy.

It seems like all this girl can really offer is closeness, to where you have a history with him. If he is seriously worried about her harming herself over something like this than he needs to call her parents if she says anything about hurting herself.

[heylittlekrissy]

I used to have a history of self harm and depression as did my SO, it took three years of off and on dating and professional help for both of us in order to have a healthy relationship. People who deal with depression or other mental illnesses can work out but it takes work from both sides in order for it to be healthy.

I just hope this girl isnt using self harm to manipulate them. Stuff like that is just wrong.

If they both deal with depression it would take a lot of work to keep it healthy.

It seems like all this girl can really offer is closeness, to where you have a history with him. If he is seriously worried about her harming herself over something like this than he needs to call her parents if she says anything about hurting herself.

I believe two people can deal with pasts of self harm together, but I'm sure it takes a lot of work, as I'm sure you could tell us for sure. But I would personally still be worried about him getting into a relationship like that, even if it's one he left me for.

I don't want to assume the worst of people, but I kind of feel like she might be using the fact that he's so kind and caring against him, and thats not fair to me. The whole situation puts me in a bad spot; if he stays with me, I'd rather tell him not to bother with her too often anymore so that we can work on us, but if this girl did actually pull something and harm herself because she was upset about me and him, he'd probably never forgive me, so I wouldn't be sure if I could even ask that of him. On the other hand, if he does leave me for her, even if it's not now, I'm left completely heartbroken.

[floridaellen]

Okay so this is my dirty laundry....

My SO and I were having a lot of problems July of this year. I started developing feelings for another guy who was moving to Florida at the same time I was. I wanted that closeness. I broke up with my SO because he thought I was being too flirty (looking back, I was) and I thought he was being controlling (looking back, he wasn't). It was the worst mistake of my life. Thankfully, he took me back.

I can understand his side, but if he breaks up with you, he will be making a big mistake.

[heylittlekrissy]

Thank you for sharing your story, floridaellen.

I definitely can see the appeal to him, especially being someone he had previous feelings for, and I would not fault him for those alone. The problem is, he needs to either decide to be with me and to try to put a stop to those feelings, or pursue those feelings and leave me. Obviously, I'd rather him stay with me, no questions asked there, and I hope more than anything I'm the one he chooses, but he's gotta choose one or the other, yknow?


But he finally talked to me a little bit earlier, we had a normal conversation, minus any lovey dovey stuff so I'm not 100% sure where that leaves us. He did tell me he loves me though, so I can only hope right now that that'll be enough.

[floridaellen]

Thank you for sharing your story, floridaellen.

I definitely can see the appeal to him, especially being someone he had previous feelings for, and I would not fault him for those alone. The problem is, he needs to either decide to be with me and to try to put a stop to those feelings, or pursue those feelings and leave me. Obviously, I'd rather him stay with me, no questions asked there, and I hope more than anything I'm the one he chooses, but he's gotta choose one or the other, yknow?


But he finally talked to me a little bit earlier, we had a normal conversation, minus any lovey dovey stuff so I'm not 100% sure where that leaves us. He did tell me he loves me though, so I can only hope right now that that'll be enough.

I also hope he chooses you. I've been there and it sucks :/

[heylittlekrissy]

Thank you, I sure hope so too.