One of those nights

[Kat Marie]

I don't know exactly where I'm going with this post, I guess I just need some support sent my way. I don't see my SO again for 61 more days (and I know some of you haven't even met yours yet, or have way longer than I do , I'm just having a rough night), and it's been three weeks since he came home for his spring break. He's been sick for two days, and he is rarely sick. I feel so bad not being able to take care of him! He's one of those people who REFUSES to take medicine, ever, so he's just suffering. Headache, stomach ache/loss of appetite, feverish, cold chills. I'd do anything to be there! I had a good cry, and now I'm just sitting here, and I'm channeling all kinds of sympathy pains. I just want to be in his arms, 61 days feels so far away! On top of that, I have finals next week, so there's stress that probably lead to this mini-breakdown.

I just feel so damn alone! My body literally ACHES for him. I can feel it, in my skin and my bones and my muscles. I want to have tickle fights, give him kisses on his neck to wake him up from naps, and wait for him on his couch in his apartment for him to get out of class! My heart hurts

[ioanna]

hey Kat Marie...
i think the one thing all of us in LD have been through for sure is the frustration and feeling of helplessness in regards to not being there physically when your SO is not well (weather you'll be there 2 days after or two years, it doesn't seem to make it any less painful)
i'm sorry you're having a rough night... but i think its a good thing... see, if i didn't ache for him from time to time, i would be scared that i didn't care anymore.. i know its silly, and not related, because you can be very satisfied LD, or ache but not have a meltdown : p i find that if i embrace and acknowledge the feelings i'm having when this happens, and let them take heir full extent, i tend to get out of it quicker... better than trying to do something else and get it out of my head...
that said, i hope you feel better soon, and he gets better real quick... don't worry about him not taking medication, its good to let your body fight off a cold or the flu from time to time by itself, kinda lets your defenses get some work done : )
hang in there : )

[Caitlin2009]

i so agree, when the day comes that i dont miss Denise or worry about her on some level i know thats even worse then missing her. I know how you feel I worry about her whenever she's sick or hurt and it sucks that i cant be there for her. I know its not the same but you talking to him through messenger or however you guys talk is being there for him and he knows that, i hope he feels better and tell him to stop being stubborn and take some medacine or else im gonna have Denise go over there and yell at him to do so :P

[Kat Marie]

Thanks you two! What you said is true, the moment I stop caring is the moment I should really worry. This is is just part of it. I had an even tougher sleep, but I'm awake now and ready to face the day. And I finally got him to agree to take something if it persists after today! He wants his body to fight it off but it's pretty bad. He has a midterm today for a two month course and he had a final earlier in the week for a one month course so he really should have tried meds earlier so he'd be feeling better for his exams! But what can I do? He's a stubborn man! Thank you for your replies, I love the support I feel from this forum, it's making things so much easier compared to how things were before I came upon LFAD! It helps me to think in ways I wouldn't usually and get different opinions and advice from those who have been in the same position longer than me!

[Caitlin2009]

oh honey i know the feeling trust me, its good to have a message board like this! it helps alot

[Zephii]

Awe I think we've all been there and can sympathise. But it's worth it, it really is! Hang in there, and I hope he feels better soon.

[Twiggy]

Ben is just like your SO, who believes in "self healing" and he refuses to take medications. There was once he sprained his shoulder and he was in so much pain. I felt rather useless for not being there and because I can't take care of him. Then he said, "just talking to you alone makes me feel much better"
Your support and care for your SO will definitely help, I'm sure. So, feel better alright?