He may leave.

[Sharon Q]

As you all know I've been stupid lately the whole thing with Zack ( read " my guy friend " ) and If you read my thread " All the stupid things we do " that covers another issue that happened shortly after we got together but I just told him about it last night. I opened up and was totally honest, through out all the emotions I left out somethings. Which I wrote him after he went to bed and told him what I forgot to mention.

Tonight he was sort of distant, the night I told him everything he told me he loved me ( he said it like ten times trying to calm me down, and told me I wouldnt lose him. )

Here was tonights convo :

Robert
hey

2 hours ago Sharon
hey
How was your day?

2 hours ago Robert
alright
your's?

2 hours ago Sharon
It was okay
I was a tad bummed because Payton wouldnt hug me and I wont get to see her again for a while lol
But it was good for the most part

about an hour ago Robert
that's good. I have to get up at 7 to call taco bell and arbies

about an hour ago Sharon
Well good luck

about an hour ago Robert
thanks

about an hour ago Sharon
np, Do you want to webcam?
I'm guessing your busy

about an hour ago Robert
eh, not really right now. I'm just winding down and getting ready to go to bed

about an hour ago Sharon
okay
Is there anything you want to talk about?

about an hour ago Robert
lol it's too late for talking. I jsut want to read for a few and then fall asleep. what are you doing tomorrow?

about an hour ago Sharon
Hanging out with Landon, He's gonna take me to my OBGYN so I can sign a release form so I can get my birth control shot at job corps. and then he is going to walmart and I can get my next phone card. And thats about all I have planned is to hang out with him

about an hour ago Robert
ah

about an hour ago Sharon
What about you?

about an hour ago Robert
well, I'm calling about the jobs, maybe I'll get an interview, but besides all that I don't have anything planned

about an hour ago Sharon
cool well good luck with all your calls hon
So could we cam tomorrow night?

about an hour ago Robert
I'm not sure

about an hour ago Sharon
Oh, ok... well I'm only here for a few more days

about an hour ago Robert
I understand. hey, I'm getting tired, so I'm going to go to bed. I love you, good night

about an hour ago Sharon
Good night hon, Ily
talk to you tomorrow?

about an hour ago Robert
ok. night

about an hour ago Sharon
are you okay?

about an hour ago Robert
yeah. I just don't want to cam tonight

about an hour ago Sharon
Okay thats fine, I just hope you are okay and that we are okay.

about an hour ago Robert
I'm irritated because you felt the need to remind me that you leave your parent's soon. and that you are taking me being tired and not really wanting to talk into something huge and seemingly trying to make something out of it

about an hour ago Sharon
I'm sorry, I wasnt trying to make anything out of it, and I can understand we talked a lot last night, I'm just worrying is all. I'm sorry.

about an hour ago Robert
and it's driving me nuts. I'm not even tired anymore. I'm just angry

about an hour ago Sharon
I'm sorry, I'll let you relax, I love you.

about an hour ago Robert
when do you leave?

about an hour ago Sharon
Sunday sometime before 4:00
I have to be in dayton by 4:00

about an hour ago Robert
ok. I'll talk to you when I'm not upset anymore. night
probably tomorrow
not sure

about an hour ago Sharon
ok

about an hour ago Robert
I just don't like it when you nag. I'm supposed to be going to bed. I have to get up in the morning

about an hour ago Sharon
I wasnt nagging I was just worried

about an hour ago Robert
worried that we wouldn't cam?

about an hour ago Sharon
no
I was worried that you were going to get all distant and leave me with everything I had told you last night, I know you said you wouldnt but I was still kinda worried

about an hour ago Robert
yeah. I need to sleep. good night.
and don't worry

about an hour ago Sharon
good night.


After that he got off and went to bed, and then I told him the things I left out, How Zack bit a leaf off of a tree and I got really sad because it reminded me of him but I didn't tell zack because I didnt want him trying to console me. And how Zack had picked me up and wouldnt put me down until I touched a tree branch even tho I kept yelling awkward.

I know, I'm an idiot I was so desperate for a friend that I overlooked his actions.

Nothing happened between me and Zack, and I'm not going to hang out with him anymore because he is disrespectful of our relationship.

Right now I just feel I need to give Robert some space. Last night he told me he loved me and wasnt going to leave me, but today he seemed distant or maybe its just me.?

Right now feel like an idiot and that I dont deserve him. I feel like if he wanted to leave I wouldnt try to fight him, not because I don't want him or love him, I'm scared to death of losing him and I love him with all my heart. Its just I feel I dont deserve him, He handled things so well last night. Repeating that he loved me, telling me he wasnt going to leave me...

For now I'm just going to give him space and let him come to me and see what happens, in the end it will be his choice. I love him with all my heart and always will.

[Zephii]

Honestly I think you're making a mountain out of a molehill and that if you go get some rest too it might not seem so bad in the morning. Take care of yourself *hugs*

[Sharon Q]

I'm gonna try and fall asleep. Its just hard to relax when I worry so much.

[Mara]

I agree with Zephii. Also, I'd give him his space for now as you said you were already going to.

[Jgui]

Don't over analyze his conversation with you. I think he's just really tired and doesn't want to cam with you. Trust his words that he isn't going to leave you after what you've told him.

I think it's best you just give him some space. Don't keep on bringing up what youve already said. He already feels as if you're nagging and it'll just make things worse if you keep repeating.

Get some rest.. Hugsss**

[Amelia]

i have had that type of conversation before because i used to over think things and get paranoid about the smallest things in particular when i told him about a situation that i was worried about, his reply was not what i expected i thought he would be mad and hate me but he was the calm one saying he loves me and he understands and he was happy that i told him, yet silly me thought there is no way he is ok with what i told him so i nagged him and continued to drive myself into a frenzy thinking something was wrong when it wasn't.

What i am trying to say is you need to take a step back think about what happened in the other situation, you need to trust your SO, and try to not assume the worst, i assumed my SO would react in the worst possible way i worked myself up to thinking that he would and if he didn't something must have been wrong. But that just annoyed him.

Don't keep bringing up the situation, if you trust him and he says its ok or he loves you, it is genuinely ok and he does love you...being paranoid is hard to avoid especially in a LDR but don't assume the worst and just listen to him and wait until he contacts you because he will

[Sharon Q]

We arnt really talking, in fact hardly at all. We need to re-build our trust. And idk if thats possible, I hope it is,.... I just dont want to lose him

[Amelia]

it is possible to re-build trust definately possible but it takes two to rebuild trust and there needs to be a lot of patience