agh the guilt.

[megfashion]

i dont know... abit emotional right now.

so... there is this guy called dean, he decided to... grope me. yep. now i told the SO exactly when this happened. this guy also at one point sent an abusive message to the SO whilst the guy was wasted (i asked/begged SO to get dean to stop talking to me, and dean reciprocated badly)

now this guy called bentley... well he decided to show a picture... and the SO was definately not happy about it. bentley and i stopped talking, but have just got back in contact. sort of stopping now again...

now the only thing with the SO is that this girl julia (grr) has made moves on him and said she wants to date him. abusive stuff to me, but nothing like groping or pictures.



im just rather emotional now, because i feel so bad for my SO having to put up with this drama.... bentley decided that he was going to message the SO today... of which i replied with "if you do very bad things will happen", as im extremely protective of him. (when dean sent the message i reaally laid into him so much that he sent a very long apology letter :P )

i dont know why these people did it... dont even know how i didnt see them starting to do this...

i jst want to hug him and apologise so so much for having these guy friends that think its acceptable to do this, and make him involved... when its only julia who has played up....

i just want to stop seeing all guys just so that he wont have to deal with all the drama now... irrational, maybe, but its what i think at the moment


ugh.
:'(

[Sharon Q]

You need to cut contact with both of these guys, neither of them respect your relationship. Don't stop talking to them and then start again in a few weeks seriously cut contact with these guys. I made the mistake of ignoring my friends actions and its created a huge rift between me and my SO.

You don't need friends who disrespect your relationship.

[Rugger]

I agree with Sharon Q. You need to absolutely cut ties with them completely. They do not respect you, your SO or your relationship. I think you also need to stand up for yourself instead of deferring these guys for your SO to deal with by himself. Tell Dean and Bentley to knock it the fuck off and leave you alone. Tell them if they don't you will get the police involved. Period.

I was in a similar situation with the groping. My ex decided to grope me last year Halloween. I didn't call my SO and make him deal with the guy. I dealt with it myself: I punched him in the face and told him 1) NEVER to touch me like that again and 2) never talk to me again.

[megfashion]

heya...

yeh ever since its happened ive become more distant with most guys. i dont know why i initiated contact with bentley again. probably another stupid thing i do whilst being half asleep (doing strange things when half awake atm... diffo story)

its more just the guilt that the SO has had to go through that. i feel like such a burden

[Kerry]

these 2 guys sound like trouble. they don't sound like they respect your boundaries. it might be a good idea to stop being friends with them.

[Sharon Q]

You can not blame yourself for their actions, However, You can not remain friends with them if they act up because then that says " thats okay I can get away with being disrespectful " And that will just cause more problems.

Why/how do they even have the contact info for your SO?

[savoie-truffle]

I definitely think its that some people think LDRs are a joke and are easy to break.. some weird people seem to find pleasure in either tempting people out of an LDR or causing drama that could end one. I agree that you shouldnt have contact with these guys and if the julia thing is really bothering you then just tell him that you trust him and know your relationship is strong but knowing her intentions worries you a bit. Maybe ask if it were to escalate into anything more on her part would he consider ending his contact with her as well?

Sacrifices suck but if its at the potential cost of something amazing like your LDR youve got to do it right and Im sure he would feel the same way but if however you keep in contact with people who threaten his side of the LDR and voice your concerns about this girl you may look quite hypocritical so just be careful!

ps you dont need to forgo guys all together but if you see it being a problem like this then you should set up proper boundaries, better to have an awkward "Um Im seeing someone so dont try anything" convo before anything happens then to have to explain a situation to your SO afterwards

also dont feel guilty you are obviously trying to learn from your previous "mistakes" so that is enough just follow through on it

[Jgui]

Those 2 men sounds like huge trouble. Cut all contacts with them as they clearly don't respect your relationship with your SO