Shhh it's a secret.

[Lumos]

I guess I sort of kept my relationship a secret from my parents. They knew about my SO as an online friend, and my mom actually went with me to meet him for the first time. Until we met in person, I did not feel comfortable telling people about our relationship because we weren't entirely sure about it ourselves. I'd have been embarrassed if it didn't work out :P

[Bethypoo]

If you are both adults then your parents need to get over it and you need to be honest.

[Jellybean♥Teletubbie]

If you are both adults then your parents need to get over it and you need to be honest.

I am not an adult, I'm only 16 and he is 20.

[blankita719]

Ok so don't hate me, but if I were your mother I would not approve of my 16 year old daughter talking to a 20 year old guy. Yes, you're all going to disagree with me but there is a HUGE difference between the ages of 16 and 20. I realize I'm old to you guys because I am 33 but can y'all just trust me on this? I know what I am talking about

If you guys want to be together anyway, really your best bet is to be honest about your relationship. Yeah, your mom is going to freak out but it is sort of justifiable. You're underage talking to an adult male and you are keeping it a secret from her. If you don't want her to be upset you should talk to her. Maybe she will still try and keep you apart but if you are meant to be together it will happen. My SO & I were apart for 13 years before we got back together, so it does happen.

[Biddlybiddlybombop]

Ok so don't hate me, but if I were your mother I would not approve of my 16 year old daughter talking to a 20 year old guy. Yes, you're all going to disagree with me but there is a HUGE difference between the ages of 16 and 20. I realize I'm old to you guys because I am 33 but can y'all just trust me on this? I know what I am talking about

If you guys want to be together anyway, really your best bet is to be honest about your relationship. Yeah, your mom is going to freak out but it is sort of justifiable. You're underage talking to an adult male and you are keeping it a secret from her. If you don't want her to be upset you should talk to her. Maybe she will still try and keep you apart but if you are meant to be together it will happen. My SO & I were apart for 13 years before we got back together, so it does happen.

I totally agree with this. I'm only 19, so I'm only a couple of years older than you, but the difference between my maturity levels age 16, and 3 years later, is massive. Undoubtedly in three more years it will be again. I know you don't want to hear this, but blankita is right. The age gap is a huge difference at that age, and I know my parents would've been uncomfortable with me dating someone four years older than me when I was underage.
Also, I know a lot of people here are in relationships with people they met online, but I think you're still a bit young to be able to make the judgement on whether or not he is safe. And lying to your Mum over where you'll be if you do decide to meet this man is so dangerous. If I were you, I would wait for this. If you and he are really meant to be together, you will find this again. However, if you decide to continue this, tell your parents. If they find out about it some other way - and to be honest, they're bound to at some point, whether they just walk in on you chatting, trip on an email he's sent you, whatever - they're going to trust you even less. SHOW that you're mature, and talk to your Mum. She may not like it, but she's more likely to see you as a mature young adult if you confess this to her.
I'm sorry for being hard on you, I don't want to discourage you from falling in love and being with someone you want to be with, but think about this seriously. You've been given a lot of good advice from people so far. Read it, consider it properly and maturely.

[Sora1101]

Ok so don't hate me, but if I were your mother I would not approve of my 16 year old daughter talking to a 20 year old guy. Yes, you're all going to disagree with me but there is a HUGE difference between the ages of 16 and 20. I realize I'm old to you guys because I am 33 but can y'all just trust me on this? I know what I am talking about

If you guys want to be together anyway, really your best bet is to be honest about your relationship. Yeah, your mom is going to freak out but it is sort of justifiable. You're underage talking to an adult male and you are keeping it a secret from her. If you don't want her to be upset you should talk to her. Maybe she will still try and keep you apart but if you are meant to be together it will happen. My SO & I were apart for 13 years before we got back together, so it does happen.

While I see where you're coming from I just wanted to throw my viewpoint out there as well. I met my SO online when I was 15 and he was 20 and although he is older than me we make a perfect match, he knew I was young and is okay with a non sexual relationship until I am of age and would never expect me to do anything in that realm at all. Also just because you're young doesn't mean you're not mature enough to handle a relationship with an older person, to be honest most guys my age I find so immature and downright horrid. I know there's a difference between being 15 and being a legal adult with a fully developed brain, and yes we go through a lot of mental and physical changes but I know I make better/more mature decisions than most 18 year olds I know. I really think once a girl is well enough into puberty it really shouldn't matter the age but the maturity level, that's the thing that makes or breaks these kind of relationships. I mean no one really frowns on a 15 year old guy going out with a 20 year old girl (at least no one I know) so it seems to me to be kind of sexist in a very protective kind of way. Just my opinion.

[Jellybean♥Teletubbie]

I totally agree with this. I'm only 19, so I'm only a couple of years older than you, but the difference between my maturity levels age 16, and 3 years later, is massive. Undoubtedly in three more years it will be again. I know you don't want to hear this, but blankita is right. The age gap is a huge difference at that age, and I know my parents would've been uncomfortable with me dating someone four years older than me when I was underage.
Also, I know a lot of people here are in relationships with people they met online, but I think you're still a bit young to be able to make the judgement on whether or not he is safe. And lying to your Mum over where you'll be if you do decide to meet this man is so dangerous. If I were you, I would wait for this. If you and he are really meant to be together, you will find this again. However, if you decide to continue this, tell your parents. If they find out about it some other way - and to be honest, they're bound to at some point, whether they just walk in on you chatting, trip on an email he's sent you, whatever - they're going to trust you even less. SHOW that you're mature, and talk to your Mum. She may not like it, but she's more likely to see you as a mature young adult if you confess this to her.
I'm sorry for being hard on you, I don't want to discourage you from falling in love and being with someone you want to be with, but think about this seriously. You've been given a lot of good advice from people so far. Read it, consider it properly and maturely.

I understand both your points on this but I don't know if I can tell her. I'm really scared actually... it's stressing me out a bit. Just thinking about it now ugh. :/ I know I should be mature and it would probably be better off to tell her. Also I'm not even really close with my mum, I can't even talk to her about me liking a boy or she'll tell me like 1,000 times about how I am not allowed to date. She already doesn't fully trust me.

Well I will give you guys feedback if I decide to tell her.

[Jellybean♥Teletubbie]

While I see where you're coming from I just wanted to throw my viewpoint out there as well. I met my SO online when I was 15 and he was 20 and although he is older than me we make a perfect match, he knew I was young and is okay with a non sexual relationship until I am of age and would never expect me to do anything in that realm at all. Also just because you're young doesn't mean you're not mature enough to handle a relationship with an older person, to be honest most guys my age I find so immature and downright horrid. I know there's a difference between being 15 and being a legal adult with a fully developed brain, and yes we go through a lot of mental and physical changes but I know I make better/more mature decisions than most 18 year olds I know. I really think once a girl is well enough into puberty it really shouldn't matter the age but the maturity level, that's the thing that makes or breaks these kind of relationships. I mean no one really frowns on a 15 year old guy going out with a 20 year old girl (at least no one I know) so it seems to me to be kind of sexist in a very protective kind of way. Just my opinion.

I agree with you, I do believe I am mature for my age and know what I am dealing with. However yeah we do go through a lot of mental change and all that stuff.

[annb8888]

My relationship is a secret too - both to my parents and HIS parents.

1. Cause he isn't allowed to have a girlfriend before graduating college
2. I'm older than he is, like Ashton-Demi older. And in our culture it's taboo. (but we're both adults okay? lol)
3. Online relationships are also taboo.

Funny thing is, I tried telling my mom, like jokingly I have a boyfriend and she wouldn't believe me. LOL She wouldn't believe until she sees the guy and I don't really care if the parents don't know, I just know my SO can't tell them yet so we're just happy and enjoying each other right now

[blankita719]

While I see where you're coming from I just wanted to throw my viewpoint out there as well. I met my SO online when I was 15 and he was 20 and although he is older than me we make a perfect match, he knew I was young and is okay with a non sexual relationship until I am of age and would never expect me to do anything in that realm at all. Also just because you're young doesn't mean you're not mature enough to handle a relationship with an older person, to be honest most guys my age I find so immature and downright horrid. I know there's a difference between being 15 and being a legal adult with a fully developed brain, and yes we go through a lot of mental and physical changes but I know I make better/more mature decisions than most 18 year olds I know. I really think once a girl is well enough into puberty it really shouldn't matter the age but the maturity level, that's the thing that makes or breaks these kind of relationships. I mean no one really frowns on a 15 year old guy going out with a 20 year old girl (at least no one I know) so it seems to me to be kind of sexist in a very protective kind of way. Just my opinion.

I won't get into a whole debate over this because I do know you all won't agree with me but I will state for the record that I have a son and if he at the age of 15 enters into a relationship with a 20 year old female I most certainly would object. It doesn't matter whether they are male or female - it's illegal. Jellybean, you may want to double check your states laws about that sort of thing too.

I was mature for 18 too but I still had a lot of growing up to do. And life teaches you that you really don't know what you think you do all the time. I'm not meaning any offense, so I hope no one takes any. I've just been there, done that and since my SO has known me since I was 18, he could tell you as well the girl I was and the woman I am now are not the same.

[Sora1101]

I won't get into a whole debate over this because I do know you all won't agree with me but I will state for the record that I have a son and if he at the age of 15 enters into a relationship with a 20 year old female I most certainly would object. It doesn't matter whether they are male or female - it's illegal. Jellybean, you may want to double check your states laws about that sort of thing too.

I was mature for 18 too but I still had a lot of growing up to do. And life teaches you that you really don't know what you think you do all the time. I'm not meaning any offense, so I hope no one takes any. I've just been there, done that and since my SO has known me since I was 18, he could tell you as well the girl I was and the woman I am now are not the same.

Fair enough, I do see your point, just had to throw mine out there.