so far away...

[seoulmates808]

It has come to my attention that there has been a lot of drama lately. More specifically, the type of drama that coincides with the stress of going away for college. My SO is still here in the same vicinity, but due to censorship, there seems to be no time for seeing each other in person anymore. Last night was rough...we talked about how he was going away to college in a couple weeks, while I would be stuck at home for one more year. He doesn't want to break up at all because he's pretty much against breaking my heart. I'm sure I'm not the first one to say this but College is cruel. I mean he got into an Ivy League so there's no way I'd let him give up that chance. It feels like we're thousands of miles apart, when in reality there's only 21 miles separating us (at the moment that is). I'm trying the best I can, but sometimes the opportunity is completely smashed by parents. I just don't know what to do.

[efish1042]

So you feel distant before he's even moved? Understandable. I asked my SO if he wanted to make it work when he left and let him alone for weeks to make that decision. Then we had a lot of drama just before he left. It gets really stressful.

I'll tell you the same thing I told my SO about us. You can do anything so long as you both want to. If you're serious, stubborn, determined, in love... too much so to imagine being without each other even if you can't be in the same place, then it will work out and it will be worth it.

Voice of experience, my LD is ending after 3 years. I'm finally moving to the same college. If you only have to make it a year, then push push push, make plans for the future... You will be so busy planning graduation and picking your college and planning the move/transition, that you will barely have time to miss your SO. Okay, that's a lie. If you're like most people here, he will always be on your mind or nearby in your thoughts, but you'll be distracted enough that it will be easier. Not to mention, having an end in sight is half the battle. So many LDR's end because they lose hope of ever (re)uniting. If this means enough to you both, then do it.

You're distant now? It's unfortunate, but don't fight your parents. It will make you life hell and they may even resent your SO for it. Just suck it up and take it as practice for the big leagues. I understand wanting to see him as much as possible before he leaves, but you have to work with what is possible AND allowed by the parents. Worst case scenario, they cut you off... and that will be so very bad, it will strain if not destroy your relationship. Work with your parents and take this as a learning experience. It's only 12 months, right? In a year, you'll be leaving, too. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger and that is true in relationships, too.

Deep breaths, distractions, communication... It will all work it the way it is meant to work out.

[FlyHome2Me]

I have to agree with efish. It's hard, but you can't push your parents out of the picture, because especially when you're living with them and they're putting you through college, they won't go away.
You need to remember that you two are in a relationship, and your parents are secondary characters. It feels a lot like they control every aspect of your relationship, and sometimes your parents are "dating" his parents But you can't hold that against each other. Especially when you're about to "open the distance" so to say, I think it can be especially difficult to deal with parents who won't let you see each other too much.
But it's not him, and it's not you. You guys need to separate your relationship from your parents. After all, for the next 12 months, they'll be totally out of the picture.

In a way, I'd think it's better, because it's preparing you for the distance. But it still hurts. Just cherish the precious little time you *do* have with each other, and make a choice to make it work - because that's the only way it will.