The Transition

[loveknowsnodistance27]

My SO just went back to college less than a week ago and I am having a hard time with it. He was home for almost 6 months, and the whole thing happened so fast. He got his acceptance back last Monday and on Wednesday, they told him he had to be back on Friday. I am stressed out because since he left, he's been busier than ever, or so it seems. I know he had to register for classes and move into his apartment, but classes have now begun and he isn't in class all that often. He is taking 3 classes, where I am taking 5. He told me I was being clingy, even though all I did was reply to the texts he sent. He's never been like this. Maybe he's just overwhelmed by it all? I will not text him because I don't want to be considered clingy. I'm making him chase me. I am just frustrated because when we were CD we could talk any time or see each other on a whim. Now, I barely hear from him. Could he still be transitioning into the LD thing again? We've done LD before for 18 months, so it's not like we're noobs. I feel like I just don't remember how to be a LD girlfriend. Any advice?

[efish1042]

There are three sides to every story. He says you're clingy. You say you only respond to his texts. What is the truth? And does it matter?
Yes, he may be transitioning again. He may also just be on edge right now. It could be that you're being clingy and not realizing it (maybe the texts sound clingy?). It could be you're doing nothing out of the ordinary (I don't want to say wrong because being clingy isn't "wrong" per se).
Either way, he wants you to back off.
The question is, will you?
You can talk it out with him - risky given his current state, but potentially the most effective option.
Or you can give him (even more?) space -cut down on communication in every way until he comes back around.

[floridaellen]

The first few days that Chris and I were apart made us both kinda pissy/on edge. That could be a factor.

I know exactly how you feel. Feel free to message me here or on Facebook. We can do this!

[artgrl808]

I'm sure he's just trying to get used to not seeing you face to face a lot. This sort of thing happens all the time. Give him some time. I'm sure it's hard for you right now, but if you did it once, it's certainly not impossible to do it again right?
KEEP FIGHTING FOR LOVE!
Best of luck!

[lyonsgirl]

Looking at it from his perspective (or what I'm guessing he could be thinking), he's trying to be a better student. Sure, he's only taking 3 classes, but he's, hopefully, working his butt off to get good grades in them. You're used to managing school with your relationship, maybe he isn't? I know you said he was home for a semester because of grades, so maybe he's afraid if he doesn't do well this semester he won't graduate? I dunno. Just trying to see both sides.

Although I definitely understand where you're coming from... been there once while we were in college, there again with our work schedules.

[loveknowsnodistance27]

Thanks for the support and advice! It is (finally) a week since he left. This was such a slow week, but I've done awesome with giving him space and keeping busy with my own classes and life. I know things will get better. I want him do do well in school since he is sowing the seeds for our future. I think we're both still trying to fully wrap our brains around it since it happened so fast. When he gets stressed, he pulls away. So, I think he's stressed, nervous and overwhelmed.