Friends who just don't understand....

[gingerlover]

So, I decided to edit this and make it more brief... lol. *noob*
Basically, my two best friends are both in serious relationships with boys here at school. While I normally don't mind playing a third (or fifth) wheel, it's gotten harder because my significant other is 800 miles away. I feel like half of me is missing and my friends are too wrapped up in their own relationships to fully understand... How do I deal with this?

[elizabethjp2010]

i have been LD for three years, and personally i am not sure it really ever gets easier, it is hard to be so far. it is harder to see people kiss or snuggle and know you cant. I almost never play the third wheel, there are a few freinds i dont mind it with, but for the most part they wont understand.

[kittyo9]

I HATE being a 3rd/5th/whatever wheel, in or out of relationship! It's just who I am. It's not so much that I'm jealous or anything (although sometimes it does make me miss my boyfriend) as I find it SUPER-DUPER INCREDIBLY AWKWARD.

So I avoid situations like that by always making sure I have at least 1 or 2 other uncommitted (or at least without their partner in tow) friends with me. That way when the other couple(s) start to get too awkward for me, I have someone to turn to. Just invite someone else to go with you who won't talk about their partner 24/7. That can be just as awkward. :P Sometimes people who have been in a CD relationship for a while forget what it feels like NOT to have that all the time. If they're really close friends, you can be honest with them and say that going alone with them makes you uncomfortable.

[Biddlybiddlybombop]

This was me last year. Although we were all long distance, my SO is 10,000 miles away, whereas my two friends' other halves were an hour away. So they were here regularly. It sucks playing fifth wheel. It just reminds you that your SO is ages away.

This is what single friends are for. I like doing all the same stuff they do (except sleeping around and kissing strangers, haha) so whenever there would be a 'fifth wheel' situation, I'd go do something fun with some of the single ladies. It just makes stuff more bareable. Particularly when one of your single lady friends is crying in the toilets because a boy she likes hasn't noticed her or x y z, and you can think 'ah, I dont have to worry about that. I can have a ladies' night, but I have a boyfriend. '

It's a bit mean, but it gets rid of the happy-couple-sickness you get playing fifth wheel, and gives you the feel good factor of not having to worry about being flirty and pretty like your single friends.

[gingerlover]

Thanks for your guys' thoughts! When I was single, it never bothered me. Now that my SO is so far, it's really difficult. I appreciate the advice!

[Sharon Q]

This is why when my SO and I are around friends we just act like friends. We dont get all lovey dovey because it makes people feel weird.

Try talking to your friends about how it makes you feel. It may be hard for them to understand the reasoning as to why you feel that way BUT if they are true friends they will respect your reasoning as to why and not act lovey dovey.