About a year ago, I created my account after a good long while of lurking and posted a thread about a boy that I had been in an LDR with, but he broke it off because he couldn't handle the distance. He and I got to a weird point in which I thought for sure that we could rekindle our relationship since nothing was inherently wrong with our relationship before I had to move away to college. I thought maybe he was realizing that he could handle it after all. I quickly realized after I posted my first thread that nothing would happen. He was done and I was only embarrassing myself through wishful thinking. I decided to just give up and hope that one day we could be together again. I thought that this day would come many years into the future and accepted that it may not even happen. I essentially just about abandoned all hope that I would ever get to be with him again.
He contacted me again on September 2, 2012. We talked for a long time about the people we had just come out of seeing. He told me long tales of girls who pursued him, but he just wasn't impressed with. He became very nitpicky: they looked too young, they weren't smart enough, they weren't pretty enough, etc. By the end of the night, he asked me if there was anything I wished I could tell him. I confessed that there was, but I didn't want to scare him off. He told me "I've known you for a little over three years now. If you could have scared me off with anything you'd say, you would have scared me off by now. I want you to feel comfortable telling me anything." I avoided this for so long, but I told him, for the first time since we last dated two years ago, that I was still in love with him.
My heart skipped a beat or two. I was sure he'd stop talking to me. I vowed that I'd leave him alone forever after this exchange in the highly likely event that he'd react negatively to that declaration.
Then he responded "I want to be your boyfriend again."
I instantly felt tears slide down my face, but I couldn't react in any other way. I questioned him over and over, asking him if he was sure, reminding that the distance still exists, and telling him that I can't handle a repeat of last time. I couldn't just accept this turn of events, I had to know for sure all the details of what he was thinking.
He said the following: "I understand why you're worried about this. I want to let you know that I never really wanted to break up with you. I felt like I had no choice because I wasn't ready for distance back then. I was more emotionally dependent and having you so far away was difficult on my emotions. We spent two years apart and I really focused on my grades and my music. There were some girls that liked me, but I just didn't like them back. I had no interest in them. I spent all that time single and I feel as though I was able to find happiness alone. I came to my own state of emotional peace and stability on my own. I am more independent now. I don't need you here 24/7 like I used to. It would be great if you were here, but it's fine that you're not. If you're okay with not seeing me regularly as you would a local boyfriend, then I'm okay with it too. I want you to be happy and if that happiness is with me, then I'll be just fine and happy too."
I was blown away. I wasn't expecting something like that out of him, but I was extremely proud of him for gaining that level of maturity while we've been apart. But I decided that I can't only take his word for it... I had to see him.
Luckily, I get airline benefits and I used one of my non-rev round-trip tickets to go see him 3,000 miles away. By that following Friday, I sat in his room and kissed him for the first time in about a year. We talked about all these things in person. When I became too emotional, he held me close, wiped my tears away and said, "Shhh. There's no need to worry or be upset. What are you worried about?" I told him that I was scared that he was doing it out of pity because he kept on telling me that he's okay with this "as long as I'm happy." I told him that I was even more scared that he wasn't doing it because he loves me, misses me, and jut wants to be with me because he hadn't actually expressed any of those things. He looked me in the eye and said "No. I would not do this for pity. There are so many girls I can be with out here or anywhere. If I wanted to date someone out of pity, it could be one of them. You will not be easy to date so far away, but I want to because I love you." He wiped away the remainder of my tears and said "No more tears. You have absolutely nothing to worry about. Now, is there anything else that bothers you? I want to make sure you have no fear going into this." There wasn't any other worry that I had. We talked extensively about everything I was concerned about and I came to the conclusion that he and I are both ready this time around. It feels like we both had some time to figure ourselves out and I can't help but think that he and I will be able to handle one another better because we have had time to figure out ourselves.
I'm excited now for this newly rekindled relationship. We had a strong relationship before he broke up with me. I'm excited now to see where it takes us.
He contacted me again on September 2, 2012. We talked for a long time about the people we had just come out of seeing. He told me long tales of girls who pursued him, but he just wasn't impressed with. He became very nitpicky: they looked too young, they weren't smart enough, they weren't pretty enough, etc. By the end of the night, he asked me if there was anything I wished I could tell him. I confessed that there was, but I didn't want to scare him off. He told me "I've known you for a little over three years now. If you could have scared me off with anything you'd say, you would have scared me off by now. I want you to feel comfortable telling me anything." I avoided this for so long, but I told him, for the first time since we last dated two years ago, that I was still in love with him.
My heart skipped a beat or two. I was sure he'd stop talking to me. I vowed that I'd leave him alone forever after this exchange in the highly likely event that he'd react negatively to that declaration.
Then he responded "I want to be your boyfriend again."
I instantly felt tears slide down my face, but I couldn't react in any other way. I questioned him over and over, asking him if he was sure, reminding that the distance still exists, and telling him that I can't handle a repeat of last time. I couldn't just accept this turn of events, I had to know for sure all the details of what he was thinking.
He said the following: "I understand why you're worried about this. I want to let you know that I never really wanted to break up with you. I felt like I had no choice because I wasn't ready for distance back then. I was more emotionally dependent and having you so far away was difficult on my emotions. We spent two years apart and I really focused on my grades and my music. There were some girls that liked me, but I just didn't like them back. I had no interest in them. I spent all that time single and I feel as though I was able to find happiness alone. I came to my own state of emotional peace and stability on my own. I am more independent now. I don't need you here 24/7 like I used to. It would be great if you were here, but it's fine that you're not. If you're okay with not seeing me regularly as you would a local boyfriend, then I'm okay with it too. I want you to be happy and if that happiness is with me, then I'll be just fine and happy too."
I was blown away. I wasn't expecting something like that out of him, but I was extremely proud of him for gaining that level of maturity while we've been apart. But I decided that I can't only take his word for it... I had to see him.
Luckily, I get airline benefits and I used one of my non-rev round-trip tickets to go see him 3,000 miles away. By that following Friday, I sat in his room and kissed him for the first time in about a year. We talked about all these things in person. When I became too emotional, he held me close, wiped my tears away and said, "Shhh. There's no need to worry or be upset. What are you worried about?" I told him that I was scared that he was doing it out of pity because he kept on telling me that he's okay with this "as long as I'm happy." I told him that I was even more scared that he wasn't doing it because he loves me, misses me, and jut wants to be with me because he hadn't actually expressed any of those things. He looked me in the eye and said "No. I would not do this for pity. There are so many girls I can be with out here or anywhere. If I wanted to date someone out of pity, it could be one of them. You will not be easy to date so far away, but I want to because I love you." He wiped away the remainder of my tears and said "No more tears. You have absolutely nothing to worry about. Now, is there anything else that bothers you? I want to make sure you have no fear going into this." There wasn't any other worry that I had. We talked extensively about everything I was concerned about and I came to the conclusion that he and I are both ready this time around. It feels like we both had some time to figure ourselves out and I can't help but think that he and I will be able to handle one another better because we have had time to figure out ourselves.
I'm excited now for this newly rekindled relationship. We had a strong relationship before he broke up with me. I'm excited now to see where it takes us.
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