Hi Everyone, my girlfriend is now at uni and I feel so lonely!

[Harry]

Hey everyone, just joined here and thought I'd say Hi

Me and my girlfriend have been going out for just over 2 years now and we have been in a very stable, happy, loving relationship! I went off to uni last November and was around 150 miles away from her and it has been going absolutely fine since, I go back every few weeks and she has been to visit me quite a bit which has kept it going perfectly. She has just moved to her uni now though and is about 200 miles away from me. She is on her freshers week now and i'm already panicking! I didn't have a freshers or anything as I study at a small place that is just for my course so no clubs here! On the first night out some guy was buying her shots and trying to get her drunk and I just feel so helpless. She has told me everything and I know in my heart that she wouldn't do anything (I hope) but I cant help this sick feeling I keep getting. I miss her so much and just want to be with her to make sure she's ok. It probably sounds over protective which I know I am but I just want to get rid of this worry, I know it will affect us and I don't want that at all. She's out right now in some big club dressed as an animal and I'm sat in my room at uni watching TV, a bit different :P

Anyway any advice or help would be so helpful and I'm glad I'm on here with people who are in a similar boat to me

Thankksss..

Harry

[Honour]

Hi welcome to LFAD I'm from the UK and in university also, although my other half is in his final year of highschool and due to start college within the next year. The first thing I would say is just communicate on a regular basis and keep up the trust between you both. It sounds to me as though you have a wonderful relationship going with your girlfriend, and you don't sound as though you're being overprotective. To me, you just sound like the worried boyfriend looking out for his girlfriend, which is perfectly normal. I've been on nightouts before and my SO has been panicky If you have trust and faith in her, you can't really go wrong. Keep active, keep your hobbies going, and try not to dwell on things too much. That's the best way to conquer it at least! At least 200 miles isn't so bad and you can see her on what sounds like a fairly regular basis. I would say enjoy every moment you have with her when you're together. LDRs certainly make you appreciate things more.

[squeeker]

Hi there. Welcome to LFAD! You and your girlfriend have a similar anniversary to my boyfriend and I! haha.. he's away in the UK too and just started his uni course. However, a bit different as he is definitely not into parties or clubs or drinking. But I still worry sometimes.. mostly silly worry.. I think it's natural because you don't want to lose them.. and even more so when they are around drinking or partying.. I know I used to go out sometimes with my friends, I don't do it as much any more because I never really liked it in the first place.

I think like Honour said, communication and trust are essential. Try and make time to talk, however often will work in your schedule, as you two are in the same timezone, it should be easier! But you both have to make time for studying as well, and a bit of socialization is healthy. Try not to worry, as just because she's out and about with drinking and may run into other guys, she chose you.. and as long as she's not going out and flirting with other guys and knows when to say no or call it a night.. also if she goes out with her other girl friends, she should be safe. And as long as you two can keep talking and try to trust her, and also don't be afraid to tell her you're worried about her.. it shows you care about her and also allows her to reassure you about her plans. I don't know.. it's hard for me to give the best advice on this I guess because it's not a scene neither my boyfriend or I enjoy.. but I know many people who do.. and as long as you both keep up the communication and trust and respect and love each other, it'll be okay.. I mean I don't know the whole story but I think if you've been together for 2 years already, it must be for a reason, so don't worry!

[Amelia]

HEY!

Many people have the same issue when their girlfriend or boyfriend goes to uni for the first time. There will always be uni events that push your relationship as well as concern you. I have had my fair share of them and every year they get repeated. For the first year for me it was the hardest because i knew exactly what was going on and it drove me insane. You jsut need to be patient, trustful and respectful. You cant stop your girlfriend from going out and having a great time as much as you may like to. I talked to my boyfriend about it and as his way of reassuring me and making sure im ok is to text me when he gets home. I never ask him for one or get angry at him for not texting me its jsut something he does plus its kinda sweet that even after a huge night he will still text me goodnight and i love you. So maybe think about trying that, it does help

[Harry]

Thank you all so much for the replies, they have been really helpful and made me smile lots. She's not really a party animal either and doesn't really drink but the uni lot seem to be pushing her to do so but I guess that's out of my control and not something I can really say she can't do (I'm weird and have a thing about people getting drunk, it really bugs me as I see so many people doing things they regret after. haha) I think we will be fine and our relationship is going so well it's just me that needs to learn to just let her get on with things and not worry. She's off to another party tonight...3 night's in a row now which to me is insane, I can hardly handle 1 :P

Thank you again for the warm welcome, it's nice to have somewhere to chat about these things as I just keep it all inside otherwise!

[hrp2007]

Just keep communicating and let her know that you trust her. (:

[floridaellen]

Thank you all so much for the replies, they have been really helpful and made me smile lots. She's not really a party animal either and doesn't really drink but the uni lot seem to be pushing her to do so but I guess that's out of my control and not something I can really say she can't do (I'm weird and have a thing about people getting drunk, it really bugs me as I see so many people doing things they regret after. haha) I think we will be fine and our relationship is going so well it's just me that needs to learn to just let her get on with things and not worry. She's off to another party tonight...3 night's in a row now which to me is insane, I can hardly handle 1 :P

Thank you again for the warm welcome, it's nice to have somewhere to chat about these things as I just keep it all inside otherwise!

She'll probably calm down on the partying once classes really get going - I know I did!

My SO and I just had a talk about this. I communicate with him about everything that I'm doing but Facebook makes it seem like it's wayy more fun/exciting than it is, if that makes sense haha. Just keep the communication up and you'll be fine

[efish1042]

^I second floridaellen.
Give it time and find ways to keep yourself occupied in the meantime. Communicate, communicate, communicate. It is truly the glue that keeps you together in an LDR.

[ams.201220]

Hi! I'm in the same position as your girlfriend, if that's any consolation! I'm in my first year of college and, of course, the party scene is way different than it was in high school. My SO was freaking out the first month of me being away. He does know that it's bound to happen, but I normally end up walking back at night by myself. So to just ease things between us, I call him before I leave and I call him on my way back, or I'll shoot him a text that I'm leaving with other people.

As far as the partying goes, it's really up to your SO, but to make you feel better about it, try talking to her about getting her to call you after the party, even if it is to just say she's at home, safe and sound.