Intimacy when in a LDR

[kmv220]

Hey all! I'm new here and so glad I found this site

So my SO and I have been dating for over a year, and we move slow with the physical stuff. Our relationship was build on friendship, and I have no shame in saying that it took us 8 months just to kiss!! Well once we started adding some of the physical stuff into our relationship, we reached a whole new level of intimacy, you know? We've realized just how attracted are to each other on so many levels!

Navigating the discovery of intimacy is proving to be difficult with long distance. We haven't had sex yet, as we agree that we both just don't feel ready yet, but it's hard not the have that level of physical intimacy at a time when we both really need it! We're at that point in our relationship where we just want to be with each other- to hold hands, snuggle up with each other, and stuff like that. How do we get through this hard part where we just want to be with each other?

On a side note- is it a good idea to have sex while in a LDR? I know it is a whole new level of intimacy and I've heard that it makes being apart even harder. We've talked about waiting until marriage, but as that's a very long time down the road we're not sure what we're going to do yet, only that we're going to keep being open about our feelings on the topic, do a little praying, and listen

[efish1042]

If you visit out LFADults section, you will find that many people in LDR's to manage to have active sex lives. However, the first time should be totally about you two and have nothing to do with anything else. If it seems like the right time, the right place, the right circumstances to you both, then okay. If not, that's okay, too. Don't let anyone else influence that. It may take more time than it would have had you stayed CD, but don't rush.
If things go well, you will almost always be in the stage of you relationship where you was to hold hands and snuggle, etc. As for how to deal with it? the same way we deal with everything in LDRs. Distraction and compensation (within reasonable boundaries). Keep busy so you don't think about it. Maybe buy a body pillow to cuddle with. Borrow clothing or pillow cases for scents. There are molding kits if you are inclined to make a mold of your hands to hold hands with in absences. When you're feeling down, cuddle with a pet, family member, close friend (as long as the SO is okay with it). We just take life day by day and move along.

[Camp_Counciler_ES64]

If you visit out LFADults section, you will find that many people in LDR's to manage to have active sex lives. However, the first time should be totally about you two and have nothing to do with anything else. If it seems like the right time, the right place, the right circumstances to you both, then okay. If not, that's okay, too. Don't let anyone else influence that. It may take more time than it would have had you stayed CD, but don't rush.
If things go well, you will almost always be in the stage of you relationship where you was to hold hands and snuggle, etc. As for how to deal with it? the same way we deal with everything in LDRs. Distraction and compensation (within reasonable boundaries). Keep busy so you don't think about it. Maybe buy a body pillow to cuddle with. Borrow clothing or pillow cases for scents. There are molding kits if you are inclined to make a mold of your hands to hold hands with in absences. When you're feeling down, cuddle with a pet, family member, close friend (as long as the SO is okay with it). We just take life day by day and move along.

efish1042 Pretty Much Covered it.
But I would like to Empathize a few Points:

Body Pillow= get one
Distract Your self, Take time you would spend together in a CD Relationship and find a new Hobby or get back into an old one.
Don't Rush Sex. Personally I've already held out for 19yrs what another 6 going to do to me. It'll make it that much more special.(at least I think so)

[Carenza LaRue]

personally, I would hold back the sex thingy until you really and actually had sex with your SO.

I mean, I am 42 myself and I have my fair share of experience in that department, so being intimate isn't that hard for me.

BUT

I never had real sex with my current BF and I refuse to have some sort of artifical form of sex with him now.
I don't want our expectations to be too high BEFORE we meet because I am scared it will ruin everything when time has come to actually have sex.

I hope I made myself clear with this...
no need to rush there.... there will be plenty of time to explore each other

but hey..... just my thoughts...
don't know really how other people think about it.

[D.4C]

my girlfriend and i were friends for 6 years..before we got the chance for it to become more...so we built a great friendship for a long time...when she was here in september...we had talked about intimacy the whole time leading up to her arrival here...what we both thought about it...and our limitations and expectations...and things in our past...and were both ok with if it happened it happened...but weren't expecting it to happen...things did happen...but no actual sex...and for me...i think it's better...i think if we had....things would be way harder now.....i already miss her so much....her touch...holding her hand...cuddling...and if sex had happened...i would prolly be going mad right now...it does help that we are closing the distance in 3 months...so it is alot less time that alot of couples have to deal with...i'm not saying that had she wanted to...that i would have done it...i just think for us...it just works out better...i decided when i asked her to be my girlfriend...that this relationship wasn't about the intimate stuff...if it was about that...i could have found that closer to home...i want the whole relationship...everything that goes with it...so i am more patient with the intimacy part of it...and i know she is too...