Both of us are in college and neither of us are coping well...

[kimmidyann]

Both my girlfriend and I are studying at different four year universities. For the longest time in our relationship we only got to talk once every 3 months. Now we can talk all the time because she moved out and I have had to get used to being more available for her. That being said, I try my best to remind her that I love her and that I'm thinking of her. My problem is, it doesn't seem to be enough. If we text ALL DAY she says we hardly talk. She says we need to Skype more. I am a full time student with a part time job and I am ALWAYS on the go. Finding time to Skype is rare because I can't multi-task while Skyping. However, I have tried many a time to do my best to give her what she needs. I also mentioned how I might try to send her some of the ideas I found on this website. I didn't mention specifics just that I couldn't wait to get my paycheck because I was going to send her something I was really excited about. She got upset because just a plain letter "means more" and that I should just find the time to do that. She thinks (for some reason) that she's last on my priority list. I'm doing everything I can to balance it all and I'm really failing. I can't really blame it on school because she's in school too but it's not preoccupying her life as much as it is mine because I commute and I'm in upper-division courses.

I guess my question is: How do you deal with a LDR and make your SO feel on the top of the list when you're dealing with school and a job and she's obviously not putting school at or near the top? We've been fighting about this for a while and I'd hate to see us break up with both of us trying so hard to meet each other's needs.

[jleec24]

This just seems like your SO hasn't got as many things to do so she has more time to brood over how you cannot talk to her as much as you do. I suggest you helping her find a hobby? Maybe join an extra-curricula activity at school. Join a club or something. Maybe help her find her determination for school? Help her get up off her behind and do something so she isn't just at home waiting for you to reply and wondering why you two don't skype as much as you should.

[Sora1101]

Without being rude I say your SO sounds like she doesn't understand how every minute of your day probably is filled with something and she's being selfish. I think you should write out a schedule of your week put everything you need to do in there, classes, commute, meal time, homework time, work etc and show it to her. Maybe seeing your busy day all laid out she'll understand how you really are doing your best to put her first but honestly school and work come first. If she feels lonely and is using you as a crutch encourage her to either find a hobby, join a club, or get a part time job herself.