Will the distance ever end?

[ecpaseur]

I have been dating my boyfriend since September 27th 2008 and we have been long distance since August 17th 2009.

We are both in college-I am graduating this December and he is graduating this May. I have been applying for jobs all over our hometown so we'd be closer together-since plans on moving back there to go to medical school. However, I haven't been able to even get an interview with any of the jobs I applied for in our hometown, so I've been forced to look elsewhere in the state and have found a job that looks promising.

The problem is is that while we'll only be 3 hours apart while he's still in undergrad, once he moves back to our hometown we'll be over 5 hours away. I suggested he move to my location, but he can't because the closest med school is over 3 hours away and one that he does not want to go to. He suggested that I work in that town for a year, but look for jobs in our hometown that whole year and then move once I've got an offer. He also suggested I not take the job and just move back with my mom and look for jobs in our hometown-which doesn't make any sense to me.

While we both want to close the distance, it just seems less and less likely as we go on with our lives and that it will take years instead of months for us to finally close the distance and create a life together.

Sorry if this seems like a rant/complaining, but I could use some advice, any will be of help at this point.

[sewbama]

This is a really awful situation, and one I'm concerned I'll be facing soon. My SO and I are both PhD students, and if we both finish our PhDs, we'll be LD for at least 2 years. If he gets a job after that (the easy job -- 1500 miles away, probably already has that, if he wants it), the chances of him getting a job here are kinda slim. So then, we'll be apart for another two years. If I can get a job where he is, we'll be together. But... yea, you get the picture.

My advice is to just keep trying. Keep pushing for opportunities. Maybe not both push for your hometown if that isn't working, but try to find a town that the both of you can find a job in. Keep your options as open as possible to try to find somewhere you can both be. Just be open minded. And talk to him about it as much as possible. Ask where he's thinking about being. Try to be there, or close. Ask if he's willing to compromise so you guys can both look at three or four cities and see if you can both get opportunities in the same one. It's going to be hard to organize, but if you keep at it, keep working for it, and keep an open mind, you guys can do it.

Good luck.

[lucybelle]

When you make closing the distance a priority, it happens. My SO and I both had to make sacrifices to close the distance. It's just how it works.

[efish1042]

For me, I ended up choosing the college nearest him because it happened to be the best undergraduate school for me. But I agree with lucybelle. When you make it a priority, it happens. I have always been a huge advocate of the power of determination. It's what has made my relationship survive our worst moments. "You can do anything as long as you both want to" has always been my motto for relationships and it applies here as well.