Telling my parents

[orangelove]

My boyfriend and I have a very large age gap to the point where he's nearly the same age as my parents. But, we have a genuinely great relationship and we complement each other so well. At the moment, we're pretty quiet about it. My parents and most of my friends don't know. However, we've been together for about a year now, so the time is coming where they can't be in the dark anymore, and I'm terrified about their reactions, specifically my parents'. I want to tell them because this guy makes me happy and I'd like to share that, but what if they don't accept us or cut off ties with me? I know I have to take the plunge soon, but how do I deal with the aftermath?

[sewbama]

It's hard for us to remember sometimes that parents are people, too. They do dumb stuff and make mistakes and judge people they have no business judging. Their kids tend to bear the brunt of these things. You have to trust them to be there for you. But if they aren't, understand that it is their mistake and not yours. You are in a loving, healthy relationship (assuming you are, as you say) and if they want to judge it because of his age that is their business. There is nothing you can do to change their minds.

As far as telling them, I'd just tell them everything about him that is good, that you love, etc, before you tell them his age. Don't hide his age or lie about it, but tell them about him. About how you fell in love, and how he treats you, etc. Then when they ask why you are nervous or why you waited so long to tell them, say you were scared they wouldn't accept it because of his age. You feel there is nothing wrong with it, but you were concerned they would judge it, especially if they didn't (or you didn't) know how serious it would be. If you can go to them saying that you guys love each other and have a healthy, full relationship, they will probably be more accepting of it than they would have if you had told them in the beginning.

My mom always said that she didn't care who we dated and she didn't have to like them, as long as we liked them and they treated us well. So as long as you show them you like him and he treats you well, they have nothing to object to other than their own biases and opinions (which don't matter).

[ams.201220]

I definitely agree with what sewbama said. Mention everything you're happy about with your SO and then tell your parents about how old he is. Your parents may not totally agree with it, but if you're happy, they more than likely will grow to accept it. But if they initially show some hesitance, don't be upset and don't worry. You're happiness is the initial result, and your parents will follow suit. My parents weren't and still aren't totally in support of me dating my boyfriend. But they accept that he's in my life. Whether or not they like it, doesn't really matter. It would be nice to have some support, but it's not the most important thing.