Does Being Busy Help or Just Stress You Out?

[camlus]

For me it's always work, work, work and school, school, school. It's almost like I want to drown myself in work like that I don't have to think about the fact that my SO is so far away.

You need to find a good balance, but sometimes doing so is much easier said than done...

[XxFranticLovexX]

Honestly, staying busy helps me a lot. If I'm not busy I find myself over thinking things, missing him more, staring at the phone (lol), and just picking through everything while hoping to hear from him constantly. I would drive myself mad if I did nothing to occupy my time. If I'm just laying around doing nothing, browsing the internet, playing games, etc I find myself thinking too much and going through the process that I do while doing nothing anyway. When I actually have something that I have to focus on that is taking up my time and attention I feel much better and find that I have a healthier outlook on things. I love him and miss him enough as is, I don't want to add to the loneliness and stress of not seeing/talking to him by doing nothing while waiting.

[corrda00]

I find the busier I am the better. It lets me focus on somethin other than how much I miss her

[lademoiselle]

Being out of the house works as the best distraction for me; I can find stuff to keep me occupied at home, but it's never long before I lose interest and start moping online. When I'm with others though, like at uni, or during babysitting, it stops me from dwelling on being apart from my SO. Also, it's nice to have something to tell him about when he comes home - I know he feels bad if he knows I've been sitting around all day, waiting for him to log on.

[Shepard-Fowkes]

I guess it depends on if you are trying to handle being alone or if it is interfering with communication opportunities with your SO. I always tried to stay very busy because it helped me feel less lonely. You don't have time or energy to focus on how alone you feel. To others, I know it stressful, but it saved me from going insane.

This, that first line especially.

If my SO is busy or asleep or something, I feel a lot better when I'm able to go focus on something else. It helps the time pass for me. I also really like having a routine, without one I get kind of mopey and that ends up reflecting on both non-relationship activities and my relationship. And considering I'm still in school, I can't afford to get mopey :P. I do think of him a lot still, of course, but the thoughts tend to be a bit less lonely when I'm busy doing something. Also, I can't just put my life on hold for him while he's not here. As much as I wish he could be here, I have stuff to do still! I may as well enjoy what I need to do anyway.

[ams.201220]

For me, being busy is the best thing. I keep my mind focused on homework, my sorority, and swimming. And when you have really good friends, it definitely helps to keep your mind off of things. I know that when I would even have a minute to think about my SO, I would practically become crazy! But beware of the stress. The idea is to keep busy, but if you feel that you're going insane because of the workload, definitely don't take on a lot.

[MattDavies86]

Great example for me, I started working a LOT of overtime when I got back to the UK after meeting my SO for a month in November, since then all I've done is work 6-7 days a week, more money and I'm busier, still make time to talk to my SO, don't get me wrong, it was 160 days until I go see my SO, it's only 100 days left now and it feels like it was only a week or so ago I was there, it's been great help for me, time is flying and I have a ton more cash in my pocket for everything I need, 53 hours overtime first month, 71 hours overtime last month, over 80 this month

[Mims27]

When I'm busy, I'm distracted and time goes by much faster! I can't stand sitting around doing nothing...I get so stressed and antsy. I get really stressed when my SO is busy when I'm not...I'm working on that and working on finding some hobbies for when she's out.

[Aniheaton]

I think that staying busy is really important, for lots of reasons. First, the things that you do, the things that you love, work, school, and your other interests, activities and relationships are what make you you, they bring you joy, define who you are, and are other ways for you to leave a positive mark on the world and continue to grow as a person. Since they make you you, they are part of what made your SO fall in love with you and want to be with you. Second, staying healthily busy really helps you keep your perspective. When you're sad or missing your SO, you can remind yourself that your life is FULL of good things and good people, and you can then not only distract yourself with the activities but count them amongst your blessings and remind yourself that your life is not that bad. Third, staying busy gives you things to talk about with your SO, and you may find some things to try doing together when you won't be distracted by missing them. There is one "upside" to an LDR and that is that you can't let your entire life be wholly consumed by them, which is not healthy. What helps me is focusing on the joy I get from all areas of my life and looking for ways to grow on my own and be more others-centered, so that I can be a better girlfriend and friend to my bf. All that said, don't let your relationship suffer from the other stuff you're involved with. Protect your time and communication, and be sure to invest in each other in the way that works for you, and don't get dissuaded by people that try to manipulate your relationship.
Another thing is focusing on God in place of getting mopey about my boyfriend being so far away. I know that since we both love God the most, God will protect our love and our hearts, keeping us close without the distance. Since He is infinite in time and space, and He is guiding and protecting our relationship, I don't have to worry about how far away my boyfriend is, or how long it's been since we've seen each other, because God will protect us and guide us according to His will.

[JandM62010]

For me I think having things to keep me busy while we are apart makes the time go by faster, but it does not change who much I think about or miss my boyfriend. It is nice though to have things to keep me busy while we are apart. I do believe it is important to stay as busy as you can during the times you are apart.