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    How am I supposed to know what to do?

    Hey everyone I'm not completely sure where to post this, but I figured that it might be best here. If anyone objects, please just tell me and I'll move it to another place!

    So yeah, here's the deal. I graduate from High School in just a few months, and afterwards I am - of course - supposed to do something. However, how do you know what that something is? I was thinking that a lot of you here are in college, and maybe you have some tips or stories to share. I am completely lost, and I have no idea what I want to do in the future. I'm thinking that eventually becoming a teacher or psychologist would be fun, but that's it, I'm not really passionate enough about anything to know that I want to do it for the rest of my life. Right now I'm very tired of studying, and after 13 years of school I really just want it to be over with, which is why I've been thinking about taking a year off afterwards to move in with my SO, travel around and work, just to get away from the whole school-thing and maybe get some clearer thoughts on what I want to do.

    However, everyone around me says that getting back into studying after taking time off is incredibly hard. I have no idea what to think of this as I haven't done this before, but maybe some of you know? Was it hard getting back into the rut of studying if you took some time off first? Would you recommend starting straight away while your mind is still "working" or is it smarter to take a break?

    I'm thinking about applying to some colleges and courses, because if I get in I can still say no depending on what I decide to do, but if I at least apply I'll have something to "fall back on" if all else fails. I'm just very confused right now, and I guess graduation is a time of confusion, but it's also freaking me out a bit and I'm getting increasingly stressed by not having a plan and everyone asking me what's going to happen in a few months. I like to just take things as they come, but this is kind of hard to just go along with, haha

    So yeah, long post, but I'm just looking for some advice on how to think maybe, and it would help a lot if anyone's willing to share their stories! Cheers everyone


    Met online: February 2011
    Met the first time: August 16, 2011

    #2
    I took 2 years off before studying. It can be easier to go to school later depending on if you find your passion during the time off school.

    On the other hand, you could spend your summer break with your SO in his country after you graduate high school.

    Taking a year off and living with your SO is a great idea. I'm not sure about Sweden but in Australia one can 'defer' the starting date of their university degree, meaning that you could still take a gap year, spend it with your SO and come back to Sweden with a place in a degree secured.
    Last edited by Tooki; January 22, 2013, 03:46 PM.

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      #3
      I don't really have a story to share, but after I graduated high school I took a year off and it didn't seem to bother me any. I slipped back into studying like I had never stopped. It, to me, was like starting to study again after the summer break was over. The only reason I regret taking the year off is because it prevents me from being with my SO sooner rather than later.

      In my opinion, taking the year off to live with your SO, travel, and work would be good. It could possibly open up doors as to what you want to do with your life. You don't want to just pick teaching or psychology because it sounds good. You want to make sure that whatever career you go into you enjoy to some extent because if you go to school for a particular career and end up hating it, you'll be miserable.

      You could always apply to a few colleges in case you do decide on something you would like to do between now and when school starts. Like you said, you can always say no if you decide to take a year off.

      Whatever you decide will be what is best for you. I have learned to follow what my instinct tells me to do. I don't think taking a year off will hurt you, but getting school over with will be nice in the long run too. Oh, and another thing, if you go to school when you really wanted to take a year off could hurt if you're anything like me. When I try to study when I don't want to, it doesn't always turn out the greatest. :/
      sigpic

      To read our love story, click here.

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        #4
        Or you could take a couple of community college classes? It's a whole lot cheaper than going to a university, especially if you're not passionate about anything or don't know what you want to do. Follow your instincts. A lot of jobs want you to have experience so if you decide to take a gap year so you could look around and try to get a job in something you're curious about to decide whether or not that's what you want to do.

        I think it's best to follow your instincts, even if they're directing you away from what everyone else wants you to do. If you want something a little bit more "concrete" than your gut feeling, you could also make a pro-con list. That might help you make a decision. Or look up and see alternative after high school plans. Surprisingly, a lot of people don't go straight to college.

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          #5
          Thanks everyone for your answers so far! It really does help a lot to sort out my thoughts, hearing other peoples opinions, so keep them coming I will look up that alternative Tooki, it might work out! I have no idea what the Swedish equivalent is, but I'll definitely look it up. Right now it's leaning a lot towards just taking the year off, because I really have no idea what to study other than maybe some independent courses, and they don't really lead anywhere anyway. Vanillatwilight09, that's exactly what's been on my mind too. I mean, would I rather take the year off now and then do a degree when I might know better what I want to do and have the stamina to study another couple of years, or do something now that I don't really like and drop out in 2 years because it's not right? To me, the first option sounds the best but I don't know... Anyways, Brieasaurus, that's also a very good idea! I think I might make a lot of lists from now on, haha However, since I'm a resident of Sweden the education here is free, even university, so that's not a problem. But I'm leaning a lot to just following my guts, so yeah

          Thanks again guys!


          Met online: February 2011
          Met the first time: August 16, 2011

          Comment


            #6
            You sound exactly like me, I didn't want to go to college right after high school and I have no idea what I want to do with my life so I decided just to do 2 years and get my Associate's degree, maybe figure out if any of the classes I'm taking interest me enough to take it farther and if I don't find something I want to pursue in those 2 years then I'll take a break and work and travel and enjoy being young for awhile before going back for a bachelors degree.

            That way it's kind of like a win-win. I get a college degree (kinda, associate's degrees are kind of worthless) and if I don't find anything that catches my interest then I can take a break for awhile and start up again later.

            Notes:
            Met: 8.17.09
            Started Dating: 8.20.09
            First Met: 10.2.10
            Closed the Distance: 8.9.14

            Comment


              #7
              My SO took a year off between high school and college. He didn't choose to though. His financial aid was denied so he needed the year to work and save money so he could go to college.

              According to him, it was really hard to go back. He just wasn't in the school mindset anymore. But it did help him to mature and allowed him to find his passion. He is now studying to be a physical education teacher and loves it. He got a 3.0 last semester (and since he barely graduated high school, this was a big deal!).

              So I can't make this decision for you. I couldn't imagine taking a year off - but I love school and I love what I'm studying. That was just his experience!

              Became a couple: March 17th, 2010
              Started our college long distance relationship: August 2011
              Surprise engagement in Disneyworld! : March 22nd, 2013
              Closed the distance: May 2nd, 2014
              Became his wife and started our happily ever after!: May 17th, 2014

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                #8
                I was in the same boat! I still to this day have no idea what my ideal job would be (except getting paid a ton for doing zilch lol) but I finished college and went straight into a job "modern apprenticeship", basically I go to work (not for a lot of cash to start) and one day a week still go to college to get certain qualifications, I'm still here now 7 years down the line and at a managerial position so it worked out, I figured no use going to Uni and then not being able to get a job lol.

                "Buddha made you for me" - My SO



                1st Met/Visit: Nov 2012 - Thailand
                2nd Visit: May 2013 - Thailand
                3rd Visit: Jun 2013 - Thailand
                4th Visit: Sep 2013 - Thailand
                5th Visit: Sep 2013 - Jan 2014 - UK
                6th Visit: Apr 2014 - Thailand - Marry
                7th Visit: Sept 14th 2014 - Thailand - Wedding Ceremony / Party
                Close the distance - Sept 21st 2014 - UK
                UK Wedding Party: November 8th 2014

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                  #9
                  I've yet to take on post-secondary education, but I took two years off before completing senior high and it was a great decision. I was far more dedicated when I was there because I wanted to be rather than because I thought I had to be. If you're studying something your passionate about you will do well, your brain doesn't go to moosh if you don't study for a year or so.

                  Actually I think it's smarter to take a break after high school. There's too many people who go straight to college, and then part way through they figure out that this isn't the career they want and they've wasted thousands or have gone into debt for something they now don't plan to use. Figure out who you are and what you want first.
                  Happily married to the little Canadian boy I never thought I'd meet in person

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                    #10
                    Since you're leaning toward the year off, I would go with that and when you're ready to get back into school then dive in! It would be a lot better than wasting x amount of years on something you don't really want and end up dropping out just to start all over on something you do want.

                    Best of luck!
                    sigpic

                    To read our love story, click here.

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                      #11
                      I took a year off, best decision ever! Most people here go work half a year, and then make a trip around the world. My plan as well, but I met my boyfriend before even started, and stayed in Sweden. Anyway: A year of is the best experience you can have I think. Go and do something else, make up your mind about the future, learn from other cultures, and then go to university. Starting again isn't hard if you make the right choice And besides, like mentioned before: the best time for a gapyear is now, not when you are already in your final stage of uni...And like you already said yourself: getting into college in Sweden isn't hard and isn't too expensive either. Goodluck with you choice!

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                        #12
                        As others have said, I would also recommend the year off especially when you don't know where you're headed (if you did, that would be a different story!). Work, save money, travel, be with your SO and enjoy it. Don't rush into study decisions you're not certain of, and remember, one doesn't always *need* to go to college (though of course, depending on your career choices, you probably will end up doing something once you work out where it is you want to be). I was in the same boat as you; I finished high school and had no idea what I wanted to do. Everyone was told to apply for the courses they wanted to get into during school, and I just had no idea. My sister-in-law basically ended up filling out the whole form for me, highlighting the courses I would like and I just narrowed down the list. I didn't plan on doing the courses, only doing the form as the "fall back" option, because I also was so tired of the years of schoolwork. But come end of high school, I could get into the courses I wanted and had no idea what else to do. I wanted to just get into the workforce and earn money, but I was too shy and too scared.

                        I went to university, which opened up my shyness a bit and gave me some freedom and independence, but after 2 and a half years I really wasn't getting too much out of it, and I wasn't enjoying it (Creative and Professional Writing. Pretty useless degree, too). Main problem was, my grades were dropping in the Minors I picked - and I had no passion or interest in studying anything else, and I needed something to get the required points. I burnt out, I was a writer and I just wanted to live in my own world. And so with only a semester and a half left of study, I dropped out and took a leave of absence, and have been hunting for a job ever since, because I'm now 20 with no work experience under my belt and it has made it so much harder than if I had of just gone straight into work from school. University helped me as a person, but the study did very little for me, and if I could do it again, I would've gone straight into work and done a gap year; sorted out what I wanted to do rather than just going for the sake of continuing my studies. If you find something you're passionate about and don't leave it too late, I see no problem in returning to study-mode at a later date. Definitely apply, so as you say you have something to fall back on, but don't be afraid to choose to wait.


                        "My arms will be your prison" - My Boyfriend [♥] Our LDR Blog!


                        Started Talking - October 2012
                        Started Dating - 08.11.12
                        First Meeting - 08.12.13 - 39 days together
                        Second Meeting - 16.12.15 - 31 days together


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                          #13
                          After high school, I went immediately to college. After four years, I had a degree. Then I went straight into grad school. One more year, and I had a masters (NEVER do a one year master program. It was hell). Now, I'm a PhD student... PhDs are about research and exploration and finding something you're interested in and pursuing it in everything. Problem is, even after 5 years of college, I still don't know what I'm interested in. I know I'm interested in government and economics, so I think I'm in the right department, but I don't know what to research. So now I'm thinking about taking some time off. Working. Exploring my interests. But I'm significantly more tied down at this point. College isn't for everyone and doing all the work, paying all the money is a huge waste if it isn't what you're interested in. As far as being harder to get back into it, yea, there are probably more hurdles. But if you discover a passion, it will be more easy to get into because you will really want it, rather than forcing yourself to just to keep the habit. Habit is a much weaker motivator than passion.

                          So here's another vote for put it off, if you can. Just keep in mind the schedule for getting paperwork in if you do decide to go back. Some of the deadlines are very hard, and much earlier than you'd expect.
                          Met online: Nov 2010 - Met in person: Nov 20, 2010
                          Closed the distance: April 27, 2011
                          Accepted to PhD program 200 miles away: March 2012
                          LD again: July 24, 2012
                          Left School and Closed the Distance for good: March 8, 2013
                          Married: November 1, 2014
                          Started job 200 miles away: February 23, 2015

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                            #14
                            Thank you everyone for your input, it's really made me think things through and weighing options against each other, and I've been talking a lot to my parents and friends about this as well. Right now it seems as though I'm taking the year off, because I'm so tired of studying (I could seriously quit right now, but it's not possible and I only have 4 months left!) and I don't think I could handle another 4 years or more straight away, especially not knowing what I want to do. So right now just saving up money and working as much as I can so I can go see my SO and maybe travel around a bit! Thanks again for your opinions, it's been very interesting reading it!


                            Met online: February 2011
                            Met the first time: August 16, 2011

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