Its all going to change...

[Black_Halloween]

So, Daniel got accepted into a really good Aviation Technical school in Kansas City, MO and I am beyond happy for him. I really am, after job searching non stop for over a year and not getting any results this is the best thing for him (not to mention its a wicked cool career! Building and fixing airplanes/Jets?! Holy awesome batman!). He's leaving on the 19th of February for Orientation and his classes start on the 25th. He said that the program is for 18 months and they help you find jobs working with the airlines, ectect and he wants to get a job where I live so we can close the distance when that happens. Not to mention we'll be doing visits this year which is even more exciting....

With all of that said though, I can't help but feel sad that our communication is going to be cut dramatically. No more talking to each other into the early morning hours. We don't think his dorm has wifi but the common room "might" (according to his advisor). He said that once he gets a job he can get a phone that will have wifi and then he'll be able to have it in his room but until then its basically going to be a crap shoot.

I don't start school until the summer semester, i'm unemployed at the moment and I don't have any friends here to distract me. The only thing I have to focus on is my photography business. I guess what im asking is...how do you guys deal with it? How are we supposed to transition into talking constantly to maybe an hour a night if we're lucky?

[Tooki]

Get started ASAP.

[Black_Halloween]

Get started ASAP.

Get started on what, exactly? :P

[Tooki]

Get started on what, exactly? :P

Get started on not talking to your SO whenever you want/speaking at times which would be more appropriate for when he is at school.

[Mims27]

Get started on not talking to your SO whenever you want/speaking at times which would be more appropriate for when he is at school.

^^This!
You should to start getting used to it now...like slowly transition in to it. Because it'll make it less hard when the time actually comes that he has to go to school and be busy. That's something my SO and I talked about last night actually. She has to look for a job really soon for a school apprenticeship and going to class twice a week in the fall. (Right now she's doing classes online) This is gonna be a big change for us, cause like you we have a bit of a routine that we've gotten really comfortable with. Transition is key. Otherwise, it might be too much later.

[Tooki]

^^This!
You should to start getting used to it now...like slowly transition in to it. Because it'll make it less hard when the time actually comes that he has to go to school and be busy. That's something my SO and I talked about last night actually. She has to look for a job really soon for a school apprenticeship and going to class twice a week in the fall. (Right now she's doing classes online) This is gonna be a big change for us, cause like you we have a bit of a routine that we've gotten really comfortable with. Transition is key. Otherwise, it might be too much later.

I agree with this completely!

It's going to be a crappy situation irregardless of how you prepare for it, but if you do get used to speaking less often now, you will have less things to worry about once your SO is at school.

[digitalfever]

Like the others said prepare yourself now so that when it does happen it's not a huge BLOW. I know how it feels to have less than stellar communication and sucks when you go from those awesome early morning conversations to literally just a "hey" now and then. If anything... you could send him a t mobile jump stick. They are awesome and really inexpensive for talking online.

[ThePiedPiper]

You could get started now, but that's never what I did, though if I'm honest, what I did might not be helpful to you. For me, when my ex and I had to start talking less due to work and school, it was a huge transition, it took about a month to find a good balance between us for what worked for the both of us (while still working with my job/school), and we simply jumped right into it. We dealt with it when we had to because we had to. We could have weaned in to it, but I can't say that either one of us would have wanted to start sacrificing time when our time was already going to be sacrified, yanno? So for us, it was mostly a matter of... just doing it. And it took some time for us to settle in, and the settling in part was not fun, no, but we did it. That's what I would recommend, simply because you will adjust, but that's because I'd rather take a shock to the system than start "weaning myself off" when it's not necessary. It might be different for different folks.

[Malaga]

Why start missing him sooner than you need to? At this point neither of you know exactly what your daily schedule will be so to try and build a different routine when it's still going to have to change seems a bit pointless.

What you could do instead is plan hobbies and rituals that would fill out the gap once he leaves. Maybe try to meet new friends if you don't know anyone there? You don't have to try and enforce it all right now, but maybe have some sort of plan of what to do with your time when he leaves.

In the end, as scary as it seems at this moment, you will get used to it. When you both settle in your new routines, it won't be nearly as bad as it may seem right now

[Black_Halloween]

Why start missing him sooner than you need to? At this point neither of you know exactly what your daily schedule will be so to try and build a different routine when it's still going to have to change seems a bit pointless.

What you could do instead is plan hobbies and rituals that would fill out the gap once he leaves. Maybe try to meet new friends if you don't know anyone there? You don't have to try and enforce it all right now, but maybe have some sort of plan of what to do with your time when he leaves.

In the end, as scary as it seems at this moment, you will get used to it. When you both settle in your new routines, it won't be nearly as bad as it may seem right now

Thank you for the advice, I agree. We're trying to spend as much time as possible together before he goes then when he does...I guess we'll just have to go cold turkey and adjust as needed. I'll try to plan some things. <3

[Hololz]

I dont like the idea of "weaning" yourself off. It'll suck at first but then you'll get used to it again, just like you've gotten used to the amount you talk now. (Before I went to the USA for a year my SO tried to "wean" himself off me. It sucked big time and I hated it.)

[sewbama]

I agree you should just deal with it when it changes. There's no way to truly prepare for what it's like when you're busy and there's no reason to make yourself miss him more when you don't have to. But that doesn't mean you have to go into it blind. You know you aren't going to be able to talk as much, so think about how that will make you feel and what you can do about that. Keeping busy, hanging out with friends to keep from being lonely, writing when you are upset. Just give yourself ideas (write them down so you'll remember) and maybe it will make it easier to deal with. But until then, just focus on being together. That's what's important.

[Black_Halloween]

I never got to thank you for all of the advice, so thank you

He's leaving on Wednesday....and he's been busy getting ready and stuff. I'm sitting here like T_T