Living at home

[elizabethjp2010]

I live at the house my parents own, we moved here 6 years ago, so i wouldnt say i exactly grew up in it. It is a big house. I love my family but they seriously drive me mad. They can be awful sometimes.
for example:
The other day i got in a mini argument with my mom, then i complained about it to michael. When we woke up the next morning ( i was taking her to work and my brother to school, because she lent out my car to a family friend) she starts in on me, yelling and yelling. Then it she says she doesnt like michael knowing details about her life. To which i respond mom, he doesnt know details about your life just mine, and things that influence my life. she was livid, so mad. I never know where she is coming from, its just kinda like random. I told my daddy, its like walking in a field full of shifting landmines, sometimes you can step in a spot you have stood in a million times and get blown to bits.

I cant have sex with my SO at home. We have before and my parents being awkward as hell brought it up the next day.

My little brother is horrid, today i drove him to his guitar lesson and he got mad at me for everything, then told me " that they were happy this weekend because you werent there"
are all 13 yr old boys TOTAL ASSHOLES!?!?! or did i just get lucky enough to live with one. (he said alot of other mean things but this isnt the place to put them all fwrd.)

A few weeks ago michael was in town and my mom screamed at me so much he insisted on skipping out on the fam dinner and taking me out, because he couldnt stand to hear it any longer.

Heres my major dilemma, i am between jobs, and frankly can not afford to move out. Has anyone else had the same situation, any advice on dealing with this kind of stuff. I get no privacy and am treated like crap.

[TriniCherryPrincess]

I live at home, returned after graduating college. It's rough because my mother is not a pleasant person. My advice is to just consciously be thankful that you do have a place to live, find things that you can focus on when things are feeling out of hand, and work on a plan to move out asap!

[Biddlybiddlybombop]

My SO has had to stay with me at my parents', and it is a little awkward. I have a place at uni, but over holidays and stuff, I head back to my parents' place. Me and my parents don't normally fight a lot, but when he was here it was pretty rough between us.

The best advice I can give you about co-habiting with your parents and trying to visit is to be as diplomatic and calm and adult as possible. You need to handle the situation like an adult if you want to be treated like an adult. Diffuse the situations to the best of your ability. And like Trini said, take as many opportunities as possible to show you're grateful to be able to stay there.

Unfortunately, when we're adults, our parents don't owe us anything, and consequentially, we have to act more and more like visitors and less like we own the place. If this means driving your rude little brother to the moon every tuesday, just do it. Because chances are, you won't have to live with them forever.

[elizabethjp2010]

I guess i should edit that. He is not allowed to stay here.

Yeah, I know I really am thankful, it just adds up sometimes.

I told my Daddy last night I was done and if I got the job I interviewed for on thurs. I would be moving out.

[Hololz]

I find myself in an awkward position. Although I live at uni for 9 months a year, my parents house is my permanent address so I'm not technically "moved out" yet. Things were VERY stressed at home last year. There would be an argument at least once a day (my mum and dad, my dad and my brother, me and my brother, my brother and my mum, me and my mum... You get the picture). I completely empathise with how difficult this makes life However, I know that I will always have a room there if I need one.

I wish you the best of luck trying to find a job. In the mean time, why not start preparing to live on your own? Now, when I go home I do things like my own washing and cooking. Its just easier for everybody and its how I'm used to living! Ask your parents if this is an option if you don't do this already? Also, are you part of any clubs etc that allow you to get out of the house for a couple of hours in the evening?

[lirabelle]

Similar Situation

Hi!

I just graduated college last May and have been living at home with my parents since. I work full time and can afford to move out but I am trying to save money by living at home since I plan to go to nursing school soon. My boyfriend, Steve is a police officer in VA, and when he comes to visit, it gets a bit awkward because my parents are old school Albanian. He's allowed to stay at the house, but obviously sleeps in another room. It's hard to be intimate at the rents' house, but some things we've done is go away for a weekend just us for a getaway instead of him coming to my house, or you can always get a cheaper hotel for a night... you have to be creative sometimes as well. My family is not religious but they are strict and "boyfriends" don't really exist in my culture. I just told my parents, this is someone I love, we will be respectful of your rules and you but we're long distance and he wants to get to know my family as well as I've gotten to know his, so it's not fair for me to always go to him. All you can do is try to be honest and as adult about it as possible. We're the boomerang generation, going home after college because the job market is not so hot. Love is love, however, and don't let anything stand in your way! I'm glad you're considering moving out! And I also agree that you have to take things one step at a time. Try and make the most of staying at home. Save money to move out, get a job, and go from there! Best of luck! I hope this helps

[digitalfever]

Maybe I'm missing something but i think that if you live at home you should follow the rules of the land. If they pay for the majority of the bills then really they rule the roost. If you want to have sex with your SO when he's there you could always be a bit more adventurous or go to a cheap motel.