Worth it?

[Tommy16]

I was dating my SO for 2 months before we started long distance, and i only meet her 2 weeks before that. When it came to the fact that I had to leave, I thought I would try long distance to check if i thought it was something i wanted to do, because I was crazy about this girl. I don't know if it is love or lust i feel for his girl. We've been doing long distance for 7 months now, and i've seen her three times. but i just can't decide whether its worth having myself committed to her when im not sure if i love her or not. I didn't know her long enough at the start, and i don't see her enough to determine it now. if shes the love of my life it would be worth the distance for another couple years but i not i feel i would have severly wasted the best years f my life (im in college) for finding someone else. any advice or comments?

[summerkid]

if you were inlove, you'd know it. I don't think you should need a lot of visits to be able to tell.

[Biddlybiddlybombop]

I think if you're not sure, it's probably not worthwhile. Dating someone casually is not something you can do in an LDR. You have to be 100% prepared to be committed to that person, and being in love with them helps that decision infinitely. If you're not sure that you're in love, or sure that you want to be committed, I don't think you should be in an LDR. I wouldn't do it for less than love. And if someone was prepared to be in an LDR with me, I'd -wrongly- make the assumption that they were serious about me. If you're not serious about your SO, I think you're being unfair to her. She'll be assuming that you're working towards a serious relationship. If that's not how you feel, you should let her go find someone who does want to be serious about her.

[aniay]

Agree to that, If it was The Love Of Your Life you'd know and you wouldn't have to wonder if it's worth it.

[dragonlady]

hear hear!! if you liked her so much you wouldnt be looking at the neighbours grass!

[Rugger]

How do you know if you love someone in 7 months though? I took my bf about a year to say I love you and we were already LDR at that point. Honestly I think you need to give it more time. How often to you two talk?

[digitalfever]

I'm not the kind of person that believes in the "love of your life" or the whole "you'll know" because we're all different and you know what love doesn't happen in the same way for everyone. I'd say if you like this person and could do long distance there is no harm to try it out.

[Verojoon]

I'm not the kind of person that believes in the "love of your life" or the whole "you'll know" because we're all different and you know what love doesn't happen in the same way for everyone. I'd say if you like this person and could do long distance there is no harm to try it out.

I agree!

This is a question only you can answer for yourself. For me it was easy, and I just knew and I still know! I don't think he is the only person out there I could ever be happy with, but I know what we have is special and completely worth it.

The thing that worries me, and that makes me think it may not be worth it for you, is you mention not wanting to waste the best years of your life... I cannot see my long distance relationship as a waste... Even if in the end it doesn't work out, the amount I have learned about myself and about love while in this relationship is something I will always keep with me. I am not just sitting around waiting to see him. I have a family. I have friends. I have a life and he adds to it with his cute text messages throughout the day, and out phone calls where we end up laughing until we cry. I'm there for him when he has a bad day and vice versa... The only thing that is missing in our relationship when we are apart is the physical component (and boy do I miss it badly!!) So how could all that be a waste?

That being said, all relationships develop differently... maybe it will take you longer to know... but if you are feeling attractions elsewhere, and you are doubting the intensity of your feelings, it may not mean that given the chance it would not turn into something big, but that maybe this is not the relationship for you... Sounds like you need to do some thinking.