What's wrong with my boyfriend?

[LooVillen]

My boyfriend and are have been dating for almost a year and he is studying in a different city. He's recently been sick all week with some fever. He told me last week that he may come home if he doesn't get better, I didn't think he would come home but guess what!? He came home yesterday afternoon (Monday) and he only tells me he is home tonight (Tuesday night)!

So he's been home for more than 24 hours and couldn't give a sh*t to tell me that he was here?? After me sending him a message the same day wishing him to get better and that I miss him, wouldn't that be a perfect time to send a 2 word message "I'm home" how hard is that??? And the only reason I found out is because I asked him about it, who knows when I would have found out if I didn't.

Another thing that's irritating me is when I call him and he doesn't answer he doesn't get back to me, not even a message saying "Sorry I missed your call", I have to ask him about it the next day.

I know he's being down right rude and my friend doesn't know know how I put up with his crap but I love him so I love him as a whole - the good and bad but this is the last straw. So I'm asking why didn't he tell me about coming home? Why do I have to ask about stuff to things he should be telling me? (I've asked him, he's playing the pathetic sick card)

*Sorry for the long post!

[Mellow]

Well, seeing the fact that your boyfriend isn't feeling well, that might be the reason. Being sick is not a pleasure at all and can make your head a bit hazy. Maybe he fell asleep right after he got home? Who knows.
I'm not sure.
In my opinion, it's not that bad if you have to ask about things if it doesn't happen very often when he doesn't tell you everything. You might want to consider having a conversation with him about it if things like this happen often though.
Take a deep breathe and try to think, in a calm way. Sometimes things aren't as bad as they seem at first

[ThePiedPiper]

If you're concerned about him being sick with a fever, it's hypocritical to then turn around and say he's playing it like a pathetic sick card. If he's truly ill, there are a lot of reasons he might not have told you he's coming home and frankly, he might not even feel well enough to see you at this point. :/ Given your response to his not telling you, it might have been easier for him to not mention it than deal with telling you he's not up to seeing you, and if being home doesn't mean he's near enough to see you(not sure if it is or isn't), then I am missing why it's so important in the first place. Neither my ex nor I ever really sent a message if we missed a call because we knew we would be talking by the next day. You can talk to him about it if it's really driving you that mental, but there are some things you have to write off in relationships as not necessarily being a big deal or as not being a changeable part of your partner and learn to live with the quirks right along with the good. These sound like pretty forgivable issues and sometimes you have to change the way you respond to things versus changing a behaviour...

[Kiyama]

I think there is a little bit of understanding needed here. He is ill so he really might have been too ill to call you. And what I could imagine: if he had let you know he's there, you might have wanted to see him and he might have just been to sick sending back and forth messages with you. He just wanted to be home and sleep I guess so I would let this one go and be supportive
I don't like calling and never getting a reply but you know that's how it is sometimes. My SO has done it. I've done it. If I get round to it, I will send a message but if I'm at school or wherever, I don't look at my phone for hours so I don't bother writing something then. We'll just talk another time. Talk to him about it and maybe you can find a compromise here but don't be annoyed when it doesn't happen sometimes. Pick your battles!

[digitalfever]

Nothing is wrong with your boyfriend and everything is wrong with your attitude. I don't think anyone enjoys being sick, nor are they themselves when they are sick. While he's your boyfriend he doesn't owe you an explanation even if you feel he should provide one. He's sick so let him be sick.

Be a bit more understanding. You care about him obviously but allow him to be sick and recover.

[LadyDaemon]

Nothing is wrong with your boyfriend and everything is wrong with your attitude. I don't think anyone enjoys being sick, nor are they themselves when they are sick. While he's your boyfriend he doesn't owe you an explanation even if you feel he should provide one. He's sick so let him be sick.

Be a bit more understanding. You care about him obviously but allow him to be sick and recover.

All of this. If this was a common occurrence under normal circumstances that you had tried to remedy before but he continued to do what he's doing or he had not contacted you in 2 days or more,I could see being upset. But honestly,you're getting all worked up for nothing. The man is sick and just had to travel home. Chances are he would've said something to you the following day. Acting like that towards your SO will make him be hesitant in the future to tell you anything and will even drive him away. Do yourself a favor,and I say this with upmost respect,back off and let the man be until he gets better. When he's ready to get a hold of you he will.

[LooVillen]

Thanks for all the responses, really helps to see from other people's perspective as emotions cloud mine. I'm 21 and he's my first real boyfriend (late on love I know!) and being thrown into long distance for my first relationship is really confusing and I don't really know what I am doing at times So thank you!