Potential LDR leaves my emotions all wonky ( >.<)

[IcedTeaLover]

Hey, guys -

I met this guy online on a role-playing forum back in April or so - we hit it off almost immediately and were constantly skype messaging each other, texting, etc. We click online and through text really well, and we talk about personal things as though we've known each other forever (which is how it feels, honestly - I used to joke about how short of a time we had known each other, ha). We stopped talking early May up until early July - my life had gotten crazy and from what he's told me, he was trying not to get too attached. Now we're talking again, as we have been for a few weeks, and it's as serious as ever. I would LOVE to meet him in person, but we're states away in the USA. He really wants me to call him so we can talk on the phone, and I WANT to, but that'll basically be me committing to him. That scares me - I WANT to, don't get me wrong, but it would just be so complicated... For one thing, my family's disapproval (because of the distance and the fact that we're of different racial backgrounds) would kill me. I'm all for "I don't care what people think - I adore him," but that's when I've met someone. REALLY met them. In person.

I've told him my fears. I don't want to potentially spend years stuck on him only to find out whenever we DO meet that it doesn't click. (I'm going into college next week, and he's going in a few weeks - I'm 18 and he's 20.) He has done LD before and said he would risk it in a heartbeat - all he needs is my word. Before actually committing, I want to see how phone calls work and all. I'm delaying the phone/skype calls, however, due to a personal, petty fear of people leaving me for silly things like my voice over electronics (I have self-confidence and trust issues for things such as this - I have a fear of people leaving me over physical aspects and whatnot).

We send each other pictures and talk all the time through messengers - I don't want to lose him. I'm already more attached than I'll ever admit, but I'm just not a risk-taker... Not usually. I KNOW I can do long distance if I really commit, but the fact remains that if we DO meet... It could be 4 years from now, after I graduate. Or even longer, if money issues arise. He trusts me. He wants this. I want this. I'm just dreading the potential fall. . .

For those of you reading, do you think I should take the risk? Commit to a relationship? Toss my fears to the side and dive right in?
If you have any stories similar, I'd love to read them! (You can PM me a link, if you'd like~ )
Any advice on letting him in and not letting my fears hinder what we could have?

(An update since I wrote this a few days ago - I called him today! I was really nervous, but I did it! It was a bit on the awkward side, but I fell in love with his laugh~ Only lasted about 40 minutes, but hey, it was good enough for me (although I was nervous and shy so I may not have been the best company, unfortunately~ ( >.>)) Still in the same situation as the above, only a step or two farther, heh~ (A step closer, maybe?)

[Dezface]

This is just my personal opinion and others will disagree with me, but I would advise that you only go through with it if you're able to meet sooner than 4 years down the track. I really don't understand why it has to be so long. I get you're in college, but there arebreaks. The likelihood of your relationship surviving an entire college experience when you've yet to meet, is unlikely. Besides, do you really want to spend your entire college years waiting on someone you may or may not get on with in person?

I say you decide if you can work out a time to meet up. That's when you will really be able to decide if he's the one for you. You can have big intentions over the internet and phone and find out they fall flat in real life.

[Biddlybiddlybombop]

I agree with dezface. I don't think you should be thinking of committing without a reasonable meeting date.

University is such a huge experience, and having been in university and in an LDR at the same time, I really don't think you should be in a relationship (yes, cd or ld) unless you're certain about the other person and have a stable, trusting relationship. You really get thrown into a completely different world, and you get very caught up in it. It's difficult to explain, but when you get there you'll know what I mean.

I don't think you should gamble your university experience on someone you haven't met and don't think you will for four years. I'm not saying you can't have a fulfilling university life when you have a boyfriend, it's perfectly possible, but the risk you're running is that you pass up opportunities to meet and maybe date likeminded people, and then meet this guy and you don't click at all.

Like I said, if you have a more reasonable opportunity to meet, even if its a year, year and a half, maybe even two years, then I think you can manage. But four years and the whole of your university life? I think that's too much to ask of you both.

[IcedTeaLover]

Thank you for your responses! (:
I see your points and I won't rush into anything - for now, we aren't really planning on pursuing anything further or making it "official" - we've pretty much decided on friends being the best option. Your points were my initial thoughts that kind of flew halfway out the window somewhere in the middle of all of this, heh~
Thank you, again! I really appreciate it.