SO with high anxiety

[BlackRoseOpal]

I'll try to keep this short.
My SO goes to a really intense college that sucks up his time, energy, and a little bit of his sanity. To make matters worse he has really high anxiety and is often really stressed out and just in bad shape.
I know he doesn't mean to, but because of this it often leaves his messages and (sometimes lack of) communication seem distant or like he's shutting me out.
I really want to help him de-stress but it seems like he doesn't even have time to do that, like this is some seriously intense schooling.
I just feel really helpless and slowly more and more distant, and he's got two more years of this, including this current one.
What can I do for someone who can't help but not have time for me?

[RachelAnne]

Sounds like my boyfriend! Lol. He overloads himself with work at school every semester and he's always stressed out. It makes me feel pretty distant sometimes too, but I try and give him his space when he needs it. What I did for him last semester was I sent him a care package in the mail when I knew he was having a really rough week. I just included a letter, pictures of us, and lots of candy and food I know he likes. He really appreciated it and said it lifted his mood, so if you're looking for a way to help him and let him know you're here for him, that's always a good idea Also, if he's able to make some time to Skype or just talk on the phone for a little bit, do it! It'll help distract him, if only for a little. Good luck!

[Kitty Boo]

Aww I'm sorry to hear that. It must suck for both of you ... I know what you're talking about, because sometimes, I'm not great at organising my time, or get really stressed out and basically end up with no time for my S.O! He understands though, and tries his best to help me, whether it is by trying to reassure me, or actually helping with my work (by checking over, or research or whatever). It sounds like your S.O needs a little help organising his time ... maybe you could try to help him sort out some sort of schedule? Work for a certain amount of time, and set a little time aside just for relaxation and communication? Then he can fully concentrate on his work, then focus fully on chatting with you. You could also ask if you could help him in any way, or work on something for him to remind him that you care. I hope this gets better for you! ^_^

[Brickilee]

I agree with RachelAnne about the care packages! My boyfriend recently started a physician assistant program and it is very intense. I can empathize with everything you're going through. I sent him a handwritten love letter sealed with my kiss and sprayed some of my perfume. It's always easy to send a text or Facebook message, but it is really special when you can take it back to basics and do something intimate like that. Love letters and care packages with comfort food, pictures, etc can give him a little break from all the madness. Even if it is just for a few minutes.

[loveknowsnodistance27]

I feel like I could have written this thread myself lol. You're not alone. My boyfriend is overloaded with school and working two jobs. I don't even know how he is sane to be honest, lol. No need to worry; easier said than done....if anyone can relate it's me. If you need to talk, PM me. Definitely third the care package idea. Either that or a card or a letter. Anything you took the time out to make or send or write means a lot to them and can really make their day. I've been dealing with not being able to talk to him that much and it's been so hard. I really just want to hear his voice. Don't stress him out even more by pressuring him to talk, but just try to reiterate to him that it is important to talk and that you wish you could find some way to help. Hang in there, it isn't permanent!