My SO comes in to town about once every two months. We try to see each other and spend as much time together as possible but his parents are always taking up all of his time. He only comes on the weekends so he is only in town for two or three days. He stops by my house for a hour or two Friday night but than I don't see him again until he gets ready to leave Sunday morning. I don't want to come off as nagging and I would never want to come between him and his family but where is "my time" at? Should I confront him about the issue and tell him I want more time with him? Or should I just relax? I'm pretty sure his family misses him as much as I do but he is making me feel like I am being ignored. We've talked about getting married one day and I don't want there to be a battle between his family and I. They seem to like me, as far as I know. I don't want to compete for his attention but I don't want to be forgotten about neither. What should I do?
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If he is very close to his family they will always want to hog most of the time for themselves seeing as he is only home once every two months! I do think though that you should get some couple time too, so I would suggest you tell him that lately you haven't spent much time together and if he could maybe try to come over for a longer time next time he's around.
I think as long as you remember that his family wants to see him too, you will find a way to resolve this! If his family likes you then there shouldn't be a problem for them to give their son some time with his girlfriend.
Relationship began: 05/22/2012
First Met: 03/21/2013 - 03/30/2013
Second Visit: 06/06/2013 - 08/21/2013 ~ Proposal: 07/06/2013 ♥
Third Visit: 10/09/2013 - 01/08/2013
Closed the distance: 11/20/2014 ♥
Married: 1/24/2015
Became Resident: 9/14/2015 -
I agree with Snow that you need to talk to him about it. Use lots of " I feel-" statements i.e. " I feel we aren't spending enough time together when you are home. Could we spend more time together?". That way he wont get defensive and will be more open to negotiation. His family needs and wants to spend time with him as well. Why not spend time with both him and his family? Do dinner/ lunch on Saturday and then have a movie night for just the two of you after."We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love " ~ Theodore Seuss Geisel.Comment
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Rugger took my suggestion - why not try to spend time with his family with him?Comment
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Ok, thanks guys. I'll bring up the idea about us spending time with his family together. Thanks again.Comment
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Depending on how his family is, he may feel guilty about not spending much time with this family. I had this problem where I always put other people before me, but I made the mistake of bucketing my now wife with me, which resulted in me putting everyone else before her too. This was obviously a mistake, but I didn't realize I was doing it.
If he's doing it because of guilt, you have to *gently* remind him (probably a lot more than once) that it's not fair to be put at the back of the line. Make sure there's a little accusation in your tone as you can muster
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