How do I make my long distance relationship last?

[AndrewS]

My girlfriend and I have been together for 1 and a half years now and we have been going strong up until about a few months ago. She started having some issues about seeing our relationship go the distance. She is doing her PhD on the East Coast and I am doing mine in another state. She is unsure if she can maintain this relationship for ~5 years before we both can settle with each other. She and I have both expressed our compassion towards each other's individually built lives and lives together. She loves me quite dearly, but this long distance is making it difficult on her to feel happy since she doesn't have me to physically hug at least. I understand she wants that attachment and so do I, but I've been able to express my feelings via skype/google hangouts/emails/care packages/phone calls/text messages on top of us meeting every few months for between 1 and 3 weeks. We are both pretty logical in how we think about relationships and if it cannot work, it cannot work. We have discussed our takes on children, morals, values, and even marriage. We agree on quite a lot actually, but we both are not ready for marriage because we want to have a steady income/background before we do anything. I guess my question is just like the subject line and a bit more: How do I convince/ help ensure her that our relationship is going to work and will be worth the wait?

[differentcountries]

Don't think about the five years. You have already made plans to close the distance when your university is over. Focus on planning the next visit, and possably also dates online. Also... I am a hugger myself, and what really helps is looking into each others eyes on Skype, and also talking /texting in detail on how the physical contact will be. Also undressing is fun. Think short term. Life is in the little things. Convince her you are a catch now, not in several years.

[CanadianGirl]

My boyfriend and I are in a similar situation. We did long distance throughout undergrad, and we still have graduate school (2-3 years) keeping us apart. We're still working on a possible solution, but for now, I'm assuming it'll be another 3 years before we can move in together. The best thing to do, for right now, is to plan the next visit and keep having fun together while apart. I understand feeling overwhelmed by it, but if she wants it to work just as badly as you do, it can definitely happen.

[lucybelle]

Only the two of you can decide if it's worth it or if it will last. Everyone has their breaking point. When I entered my LDR I told my SO that I could do it for two years max. And in just under two years we closed the distance. But there's many, many couples who are LD for much longer. And there's some LD couples who don't even know when they can close the distance. But they're different from me. That's not something I could do.

So again, if you're both willing to wait the five years, great. Plan lots of visits, get into a good Skype routine, keep communication OPEN and have a great time.

[piratemama]

Welcome to the forum. I agree with differentcountries about not thinking on the 5 years but plan for the next visit. It sounds like you are trying to keep connected in a multitude of ways. That's all you can do. Maybe you could send your SO to this forum where she can see that others do the distance for a long time, too. It can work. There are many ideas to keep connected, too. Check out this article: https://www.lovingfromadistance.com/...uplestodo.html. If you show you care and continue to make the effort, it might soothe her fears.