Pressure

[Wiggyton]

My SO is only an hour and a half away (just for some background). We are both in college, our first year. Well lately she's been saying stuff like, 'I miss when you send me cute long messages for me to wake up to.' Well, not to be rude, I did send her one a week ago, as we have only been in college a week now and still trying to work out this LDR thing.
The thing that bothers me is that she is basically forcing me to write those things, which I do not mind but when they are forced they don't come from the heart. If you have any advice on breaching the subject with her that would be fantastic.

[Ahava]

Yep, young girls (and even some of us older girls) can be quite a hand full sometimes. I personally would blame half of it on Hollywood and romantic novels etc.
We love to be chased and courted which usually comes naturally for guys in the beginning, but after the honeymoon phase comes to an end it needs more of an effort from both parties.

I personally think she's doing herself a disservice by pressuring you. You should tell her like you wrote on here, that you enjoy writing sweet nothings to her and making her happy, but can't perform under pressure when it is expected from you and is turned into a labour of work.

[Safihre]

Yep, young girls (and even some of us older girls) can be quite a hand full sometimes. I personally would blame half of it on Hollywood and romantic novels etc.
We love to be chased and courted which usually comes naturally for guys in the beginning, but after the honeymoon phase comes to an end it needs more of an effort from both parties.

I personally think she's doing herself a disservice by pressuring you. You should tell her like you wrote on here, that you enjoy writing sweet nothings to her and making her happy, but can't perform under pressure when it is expected from you and is turned into a labour of work.

My SO does this exact same thing (the pressuring), and I gave her that answer but I can tell you she probably doesn't like to hear that :P
Probably also a good idea not to mention that you already did it last week, that sort of makes it sound like you are keeping track already just to satisfy her.
Maybe tell her that the number of messages is not a sign of your love directly, but that from now on you will try to pay attention more to the little things (and do so). And do write her more, doesn't have to be every morning, but in LDR those little signs of affection are vital!

[Wiggyton]

Thanks! We are just getting started so we both still have a lot to figure out!

[Mims27]

I think if you do it too much it loses it's appeal. It won't be so special anymore, it'll be routine. Which kind of beats the purpose huh? I tell me SO I love cute things like that too but not to get them every single day. I want it to be unexpected and fun!

[Redheart14]

I think if you do it too much it loses it's appeal. It won't be so special anymore, it'll be routine. Which kind of beats the purpose huh? I tell me SO I love cute things like that too but not to get them every single day. I want it to be unexpected and fun!

I agree with that. Also does she message you cute things in return? Or is it all one sided?

[Wiggyton]

It is mutual but in a different way. She not a very confident person therefore when she sends long texts they're usually because she's apologizing for not being, as she says, good enough or me (which I don't buy one bit)

[Redheart14]

She needs to stop that!(poor thing) As a woman I know it's easy to fall into that (I've done it) she needs to feel good enough within herself. My SO hated me doing that. Maybe set a day on week where you send texts like that. Like every 3rd Wednesday or something. Then it's still heartfelt but not as much pressure on you.

[Ejoriah]

I'm going to play devil's advocate here and say that maybe she told you because she wants you to know. A lot of times you hear men complaining that they don't know what women want, and women complaining that men can't take hints (sorry to use gender stereotypes, of course there is any gender combination for these things but you get my point). I think you can tell her that you're glad she enjoys those messages but that you're not sending them as often so that she'll keep being surprised.