I just saw another thread on here by 'tinkerbell' about transition to college stressing her out. My SO and I are in the same position. She is having a hard time with college en thinking about dropping out at the end of the year and I'm loving college. We text everyday all day and I know when she's upset. To make matters worse she is forming with her twin sister (they don't get along at all). She only seems happy when she is with me. That feels great but I don't want her to just be happy whenever we are together. I want her to enjoy college as much as I do but it's not like I can force into doing things at school and socializing. Most of the time she's either in class or in her dorm room watching tv. I'm just at a loss to what I can do to help her.
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I can relate to this situation (obviously lol). I haven't been happy in college without my SO around either but my SO (who is no longer my SO considering he just dumped me a few days ago) apparently lost all interest in me as girlfriend once he got into college life. We were always texting and most of the time I was just hating on my life to him. He was getting sick of it and he felt helpless because he couldn't do anything about it. As he put it "I can't do anything to help from two states away" he said that all the time right before he broke up with me. I'll tell you what though, like in this situation, the girl isn't expecting you to help she just wants you to listen and comfort her. That's all I had wanted, but he took it in a different light. I'm going through a pretty tough time because my ex-SO was both my best friend and my boyfriend and I just feel like I died a bit inside once he told me he no longer loved me in that special way anymore. Of course my SO said he felt bad about cutting those ties between us but he "knew it was for the best". Now he is just icy and cool towards me even though now we're "good friends". He doesn't say much to me anymore despite that we're still texting regularly. Hopefully he improves his friend communication skills in the future if he still even wants to maintain a friendship, which he does (for now).
So yeah, sorry for venting but I can relate to what's going on because this is exactly what my situation was less than a week ago. If you still love her as a SO then just support her. If you're like my loser SO who can't stand the distance anymore then it would be best to cut ties with her before you lead her on like my SO had been doing the past few weeks already. Do keep in mind that both of you will get more used to this transition eventually, it just takes time. -
You're right that her only being happy with you isn't ideal, because she needs to have her own life where she can do things that make her happy outside of you.
But, maybe college just isn't one of those things. If that's the case, she should think about what does/will possibly make her happy, a particular job, etc. and try that.
That said, if she's in the US, college just started pretty recently, and freshmen often feel overwhelmed or like they don't fit in/like school/etc. She may feel differently as she settles in and makes friends and gets a feel for the surroundings. She could just be experiencing some homesickness and some common uncertainty about the changes going on with her life.Comment
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Maybe she can find something to do that makes her happy,when she's not with you,like a hobby or something that she enjoys doing.Comment
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I'm hoping that is the caseComment
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Yeah just be supportive her and try to hold back on the fact that you're having a great time.
She does have to figure things out for herself.Comment
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Maybe she's worried about you seeing as both of you have just started college life? I was a bit sad when my S.O. started uni (and I was in my last year of highschool) because I was afraid he wouldn't stay loyal. It all worked out in the end, but it can still be a difficult time.
If that's not the reason, maybe suggest that she goes join some societies or make some friends?
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