LDR sucks :( New here.

[tulipgirl]

Hello I'm 23, from Wisconsin and my LDR SO is 21,from Massachusetts.

LDR's are so hard. I just want to be together. It's been almost 3 months since we started talking, and it hasn't really died down like every other potential has, we have had a few hiccups, but I'm really insecure sometimes, and not 100% trusting. I also have anxiety which doesn't help. How do you all deal with this stuff? Thanks.

[Petals]

Hi, welcome to the forum

Yes LDR is hard! Gosh sometimes I just want to break my contract and pack up and be with him though there are visa restrictions. Then, we take a step back and realize that we have to be realistic and make sensible decisions that will benefit us in the long run.

How do I deal with it?

I try to keep a positive outlook. Negative thoughts beget more negative thoughts.I do not constantly talk about how hard LDR is - we both know that it is hard so we just deal with it. He has told me that he cannot function properly when he knows I am down about our relationship.

I keep busy as this helps me not to be focused on the fact that we are not together physically and helps me not to freak out if for whatever reason he doesn't call/text at his usual time.

We have open communication. I allow myself to be vulnerable with him and he does the same.

We plan visits way ahead of time and try to stick to the plan. We also have a clear idea when we want to close the distance.

We talk everyday - text mainly during the week and long skype call on the weekends. He is extremely busy and a few times his schedule has interfered with our usual communication pattern. I could have been upset and anxious during those times, but I chose to ride it out and in no time we got back on track without any arguments.
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Your relationship is young so I understand that you might have a bit more anxiety over the future, but try to be positive and realistic. If he treats you well and shows that he is committed to the relationship, don't go digging for issues- trust him. Fill your life with interesting activities so you are not only growing and evolving as a person, but you are not sitting around waiting for him to call you. You are responsible for your own happiness, so do the things that foster positive thinking.

All the best

[rhabdoviridae]

Petals has so many great points. I'm similar in how I handle the strain of distance: keep busy, communicate regularly, have an end date and next visit in sight and stay positive.

[butterfly712]

I agree with petals,LDRs are very hard,but you just have to trust him,without trust and communication in any relationship you have nothing.

[Redheart14]

I think petals said it best

[lovelike]

Agree with petals too.

I would stress honesty and making sure you're on the same page.

[tulipgirl]

Thanks all. It is hard and he wants to go slow. We really want to meet and he can fly here but the problem is where we will stay. Neither of us have $ for a hotel and theres no room for him where im at and there is no privacy there.