Post-visit apathy?

[kaybeee]

Does anyone ever become apathetic after a visit with their SO? Mine lives about 500 miles away and we got to see each other Thanksgiving and Christmas and the next time we'll be seeing each other is the middle of March. Whenever he comes to visit me we always have a great time, but all I can think about is that our time together is going to end and then he'll have to go home and we'll be back to texting and skyping. When our time together is up, I always cry. When he has to leave I just want to cry all day, but then after a couple days I begin to feel apathetic. I'm not sure if it's my mind's way of avoiding the sadness I feel because it would just spiral me into depression or if it's something bigger. I'm not cheating on him or anything. This is also the first really serious relationship I've been in and I can't imagine not being with him. He supports me through everything and understands me so much. I'll admit, he doesn't always do cute things for me which I wish he did, but I don't really do cute things for him either. We skype, text, and call on the phone. I do look forward to seeing him again, but while we're apart I just feel apathetic. It's not like I don't want to skype him or text him; I do, but for me, my love language is quality time and we can't really do that over skype. LDRs are so difficult, but I love him.

EDIT: I also have mild anxiety which I've heard can create an apathetic attitude towards other things in my life which I have also experienced.

[madisonavenue]

Kaybeee,

Everything you describe sounds just like my LDR. We saw each other for two and a half weeks over the Christmas break. The first two weeks were absolutely wonderful and fun, but when the last four days came around, I started to think how I would have to leave and I got so sad. This has happened every time we've been together (nine times now).

As for feeling apathetic: My SO always seems more apathetic than me after we've seen each other. I've asked him about it, and he describes it sort of like this: "I really do miss you, but now that I'm alone I've gotta get busy and get back to work. I don't want to dwell on feeling sad. I'm just happy we got to see each other." Apathy is a sort of coping mechanism. Ever since our conversation, I've been trying hard to learn from him and be more apathetic.

I think the apathetic feelings really are our brains way of protecting us from the post-together depression. And if feeling apathetic can protect you from that, it isn't totally a bad thing.

When you say your love language is quality time together, I can really relate. Texting and skype are great for conversation, but they feel so much more impersonal than actually being together.

Have you guys tried watching tv and movies together over skype? Or playing games together?