The time is growing

[AZZS]

Before I go into my actual question I must give some background story. My BF and I met as school during the fall semester of October 2013, he moved back home for the spring semester(spring 2014). Then for this past fall semester(fall 2014) he was back close to me. But now he has moved back home again because he did not do well in school. I don't want to give the wrong impression about my BF he is very smart and out going but it just took him a few semesters to realize that college is most likely not right for him. He has also done some deep thinking about finding his true passion. With all the soul searching he has done (and I support him all the way, as well as doing what makes him happy) we have realized that we will be doing long distance for 2 and a half years, until i finish my degree. That seems like a lifetime away but I know it really is not. We have done LDR before but this seems so long. I need some advice....

[p_b82]

well having driven from PA to up-state NY, I would say that it is not a complete disaster that sort of distance, you can see each other on weekends at least from time to time, and if he is not working full time maybe long weekends with you too....

As far as other advice goes, plenty of suggestions on here about coping mechanisms, but don't dwell on the time in the future too much as it will bring you down... You know it is not forever though, and who knows he might find something clsoe to you that is more to his liking other than collage.

[Jaac]

I don't know about the distance, but appearently its drivable.
2 years seems like a lot, but if you could at least see each other every month, and a bit longer during summer, time will go by quick.

A lot can happen, maybe in a few months he decides to move closer to you.
It's not going to be easy, but it sounds like both of you are in this relationship for 100%. With that attitude you will make it!

[Sarah96]

I definitely agree with the two above, your distance isn't very far and is clearly drivable. If you've done it a little bit already here and there then you are already prepared.Like it was mentioned before you can see each other maybe once a month or every few weekends or whatever works for the both of you. Two and a half years isn't really that long of a time, besides, you need to finish your degree anyway. Keep yourself busy focusing on school and work and time will go by faster than you realize. I've been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years now and I'm not sure if I'll even get to meet him before I graduate from college, which I just started this past fall. You are lucky that you have a smaller distance. Just make sure nothing changes other than the distance. Continue to communicate in all ways possible, keep a positive attitude and plan visits as often as possible and everything will be fine. I wish you two the best!

[whatruckus]

Keep your chin up. My SO and I have probably AT LEAST 4 years before I can finish school, unless somehow we get enough money beforehand to move in together. Albany to LI, albeit annoying, is very doable if you can drive or take the train. I agree with everyone else in that you shouldn't think about how long it's going to take you, lately I've been doing that and all it's done is make me feel depressed. My SO, on the other hand, has been working double shifts as much as he can to save up money so we can move in together sooner.

Go about your business as normal, keep yourself busy, keep communicating to your SO, keep visiting. Two and a half years will fly by before you know it.

[AZZS]

Thank You all so much for all these amazing words! Its nice knowing I have the support of so many.

[leditbe]

I'm kind of dealing with the same thing right now.
My fiance and I have been long distance for over a year now, and it's only because I've been trying to finish up my degree.
I've definitely contemplated moving to be with him sooner, but in the long run it would be more difficult to finish my degree there.
The most I can say is that although it will feel like a very long time at some point, it will all be worth it when you have your education.
Perhaps you could also try to convince him to move where you are so that you don't have to be alone through all of this.

It's a conversation that really needs to be had, and if you end up having to be away from each other for two years, use all of that time wisely and complete your degree.

Best Wishes.

-A

[leditbe]

Also, I kind of wish I had read the comments before I posted my reply.
Albany to Long Island? Seriously?
I know it's still technically "Long Distance" but if I was you, I wouldn't worry. You could see each other every weekend if you wanted to.
Some people here can't see their SO for months at a time...

[AZZS]

When I am at school we are further way from each other.

[Harlequin]

Also, I kind of wish I had read the comments before I posted my reply.
Albany to Long Island? Seriously?
I know it's still technically "Long Distance" but if I was you, I wouldn't worry. You could see each other every weekend if you wanted to.
Some people here can't see their SO for months at a time...

You need to pull back and change your attitude. The bolded statements are incredibly rude, and your overall attitude is condescending.
Don't use your distance, or the distance of others, as a tool to belittle the troubles other couples are going through. This isn't a contest. If Albany to Long Island was easily doable for her, obviously she wouldn't be here looking for support.
I once did an LDR where the distance was only Brooklyn NY to Philadelphia PA. We saw each other once every two months, because that's all we could do regardless of the fact the only thing separating us was a 2 hour train ride and a 30 minute hop on the subway. While OP is fortunate that her SO lives in the same state as her, it's audacious to assume that they could see each other every weekend "if [they] wanted to". I'm sure they want to, and if they could, obviously they would.

OP, I think you and your boyfriend are handling the distance with the right attitude. Keep staying positive, and I think you'll do alright. As others have said, try not to think about how much time is still separating you. If you feel like the thoughts are still there, then try to put a positive twist on them: "We're this much closer to closing the distance" instead of "We've still got this much further to go". Also like others have said, keep yourself busy, communicate often, and focus on school. Though to be honest, once you hit like...your second semester junior year, you're not going to have aaaaany problem keeping busy.
And there's no shame in dropping out of college; not everyone is meant for it, and it doesn't make your boyfriend stupid for bowing out before he put too much money into it. I wish you both the best!

[differentcountries]

We have a saying: Each day is one day closer until I see you.

We also do a lot of countdowns and other things to shorten the waiting.

[whatruckus]

You need to pull back and change your attitude. The bolded statements are incredibly rude, and your overall attitude is condescending.
Don't use your distance, or the distance of others, as a tool to belittle the troubles other couples are going through. This isn't a contest. If Albany to Long Island was easily doable for her, obviously she wouldn't be here looking for support.
I once did an LDR where the distance was only Brooklyn NY to Philadelphia PA. We saw each other once every two months, because that's all we could do regardless of the fact the only thing separating us was a 2 hour train ride and a 30 minute hop on the subway. While OP is fortunate that her SO lives in the same state as her, it's audacious to assume that they could see each other every weekend "if [they] wanted to". I'm sure they want to, and if they could, obviously they would.

OP, I think you and your boyfriend are handling the distance with the right attitude. Keep staying positive, and I think you'll do alright. As others have said, try not to think about how much time is still separating you. If you feel like the thoughts are still there, then try to put a positive twist on them: "We're this much closer to closing the distance" instead of "We've still got this much further to go". Also like others have said, keep yourself busy, communicate often, and focus on school. Though to be honest, once you hit like...your second semester junior year, you're not going to have aaaaany problem keeping busy.
And there's no shame in dropping out of college; not everyone is meant for it, and it doesn't make your boyfriend stupid for bowing out before he put too much money into it. I wish you both the best!

Not even just that, LI is even an hour away from NYC because of traffic. Plus, Albany to LI is about 3 1/2 hours driving, without traffic. That's still a lot. I'm about an hour and a half - 2 hours (depending on traffic) from my SO, and even still, I used to be able to see him every weekend, but now it's 1 - 2 times a month, sometimes more if I'm lucky. I don't have enough money to make that trip as often anymore, plus his work schedule makes it difficult. Perhaps this is the same situation, given she is going to school.

Even if they lived an hour away, or less, if they don't have the means...it could still mean that they don't see each other nearly as often as you would think.

[AZZS]

Thank You for the kind words, it means the world to me.

[leditbe]

You need to pull back and change your attitude. The bolded statements are incredibly rude, and your overall attitude is condescending.
Don't use your distance, or the distance of others, as a tool to belittle the troubles other couples are going through. This isn't a contest. If Albany to Long Island was easily doable for her, obviously she wouldn't be here looking for support.
I once did an LDR where the distance was only Brooklyn NY to Philadelphia PA. We saw each other once every two months, because that's all we could do regardless of the fact the only thing separating us was a 2 hour train ride and a 30 minute hop on the subway. While OP is fortunate that her SO lives in the same state as her, it's audacious to assume that they could see each other every weekend "if [they] wanted to". I'm sure they want to, and if they could, obviously they would.

OP, I think you and your boyfriend are handling the distance with the right attitude. Keep staying positive, and I think you'll do alright. As others have said, try not to think about how much time is still separating you. If you feel like the thoughts are still there, then try to put a positive twist on them: "We're this much closer to closing the distance" instead of "We've still got this much further to go". Also like others have said, keep yourself busy, communicate often, and focus on school. Though to be honest, once you hit like...your second semester junior year, you're not going to have aaaaany problem keeping busy.
And there's no shame in dropping out of college; not everyone is meant for it, and it doesn't make your boyfriend stupid for bowing out before he put too much money into it. I wish you both the best!

Excuse me, but I was not speaking to you. Also, I thought that what I said might be helpful to this person. In no way is this interaction any of your business. I was only stating my personal opinion anyway, which is what this thread was asking for anyway; advice from a personal source aka an opinion.

[leditbe]

Not even just that, LI is even an hour away from NYC because of traffic. Plus, Albany to LI is about 3 1/2 hours driving, without traffic. That's still a lot. I'm about an hour and a half - 2 hours (depending on traffic) from my SO, and even still, I used to be able to see him every weekend, but now it's 1 - 2 times a month, sometimes more if I'm lucky. I don't have enough money to make that trip as often anymore, plus his work schedule makes it difficult. Perhaps this is the same situation, given she is going to school.

Even if they lived an hour away, or less, if they don't have the means...it could still mean that they don't see each other nearly as often as you would think.

Like I said to the person who originally attacked me, it was just an opinion and I'm growing quite tired of people misunderstanding this.