Girlfriend and I recently started LDR 2 months ago, before that we met while studying abroad at the same university. She is still there for 3 weeks. I finished last semester and we've been close and in love since we first met in August last year. She told me she isn't excited about our relationship. This came after she said we're different because of our lives/ experiences. She thinks it could separate us or maybe not. She's confused. she's had a weird life & says I can't connect to her as her close friends are wrecked up people like her and they get each other. I said being with someone different will help her move on from the bad experiences.
She doesn't want to hurt me as I don't "deserve it" she feels "she's not into it" with her being super busy. She added "I'm selfish & I feel like a b**ch. I feel stuck/trapped/pressured to find time for something i don't really want to do. It's horrible to say but I feel horrible trying to be happy with you like this when I'm not. "
She get's super stressed with college and work. I've helped her in her spare time which she's grateful for, but because she's busy she doesn't want to think about someone else too as she feels she's drifting away from me and she doesn't know how to stop it. She thinks it'll be better when she isn't stressed with college. She wants a real relationship with me or try to. this can't happen until graduation in 8 months. I asked how'd it be different together. she said we'd see each other at least weekly with her happy but doesn't see the point when we're not together as she ended with she might not be made for LDR as she's always pushing people away when she doesn't want to. She said our problem is solely her fault that's she's ruining our great relationship.
She added She loves me a lot & she wants us to have the chance to be together but not in a LDR, which is obvious. She doesn't know because of the difference thing if we're meant to be and she thinks that's why she's not into it .She wants to force herself to do more but can't understand why she can't and can barely remember us being together.
Her problem in her word: "twisted me wants to be in a unhealthy relationship where it's complicated to be with the other. When everything is okay I just end up being bored because I can have what i want...such an awful thing to say once again but it's true. It was the same with my ex. I only started to really love him when he left. it's quite pathetic too. I adored him but I didn't feel passion because our relationship was too simple."
Her first relationship was eventful and twisted. She got raped at first and had drama and was doing the chasing, it was messed up. I know this first relationship 6 years ago has screwed her since. I've discovered her relationships have ended since because of this. She's not used to being with someone who loves her so much. When we first started she told me, I was the first person she's been able to let into her life in 3 years.
To wrap it up she wants space for a week to think over everything and get advice from her two close friends. I know one really well. She told me she doesn't want to break up. She's confused. I'm not convinced we need more distance as everything was good with our us until her work piled up and all this truly started. I feel added distance would drive us apart. She also suggested we don't talk as much until we see each other in 2 months, which I won't let happen. I gave her advice and she said I am right and thanked me for not giving up on her and I'm a great guy. I don't want to break up with her, that's the thing. I know she's a great girl and I want a future with her as everything is fine when we're together its the distance. I know if she doesn't change her behaviour I'll get sick of her. Thank you for reading this. I basically want to solve this, but what do I do? I'm not sure how I go from here. I'm confused and really sad, I feel like I've basically lost her and can't do anything. She told me she knows when we're together it'll be fine and it'll be like we were never apart.
She doesn't want to hurt me as I don't "deserve it" she feels "she's not into it" with her being super busy. She added "I'm selfish & I feel like a b**ch. I feel stuck/trapped/pressured to find time for something i don't really want to do. It's horrible to say but I feel horrible trying to be happy with you like this when I'm not. "
She get's super stressed with college and work. I've helped her in her spare time which she's grateful for, but because she's busy she doesn't want to think about someone else too as she feels she's drifting away from me and she doesn't know how to stop it. She thinks it'll be better when she isn't stressed with college. She wants a real relationship with me or try to. this can't happen until graduation in 8 months. I asked how'd it be different together. she said we'd see each other at least weekly with her happy but doesn't see the point when we're not together as she ended with she might not be made for LDR as she's always pushing people away when she doesn't want to. She said our problem is solely her fault that's she's ruining our great relationship.
She added She loves me a lot & she wants us to have the chance to be together but not in a LDR, which is obvious. She doesn't know because of the difference thing if we're meant to be and she thinks that's why she's not into it .She wants to force herself to do more but can't understand why she can't and can barely remember us being together.
Her problem in her word: "twisted me wants to be in a unhealthy relationship where it's complicated to be with the other. When everything is okay I just end up being bored because I can have what i want...such an awful thing to say once again but it's true. It was the same with my ex. I only started to really love him when he left. it's quite pathetic too. I adored him but I didn't feel passion because our relationship was too simple."
Her first relationship was eventful and twisted. She got raped at first and had drama and was doing the chasing, it was messed up. I know this first relationship 6 years ago has screwed her since. I've discovered her relationships have ended since because of this. She's not used to being with someone who loves her so much. When we first started she told me, I was the first person she's been able to let into her life in 3 years.
To wrap it up she wants space for a week to think over everything and get advice from her two close friends. I know one really well. She told me she doesn't want to break up. She's confused. I'm not convinced we need more distance as everything was good with our us until her work piled up and all this truly started. I feel added distance would drive us apart. She also suggested we don't talk as much until we see each other in 2 months, which I won't let happen. I gave her advice and she said I am right and thanked me for not giving up on her and I'm a great guy. I don't want to break up with her, that's the thing. I know she's a great girl and I want a future with her as everything is fine when we're together its the distance. I know if she doesn't change her behaviour I'll get sick of her. Thank you for reading this. I basically want to solve this, but what do I do? I'm not sure how I go from here. I'm confused and really sad, I feel like I've basically lost her and can't do anything. She told me she knows when we're together it'll be fine and it'll be like we were never apart.
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