Boyfriend working all summer..

[alice12]

My LD boyfriend and I are going on holiday end of June for a week and he's just told me that after that he's accepted a summer job from then on until the end of August where he'll be working pretty much every day/night which means I'll barely get to see him over summer. We live about 3 hours away from each other anyway and is fairly expensive to travel. Now uni exams are over for both of us and it's officially the summer holiday I was hoping we'd get to see each other A LOT as during term time we will barely see each other and have 2-3 weeks apart but now I'm not even sure when and how long for I'll see him for after our holiday and I'm just so upset over it. My expectations of summer excluding our holiday have gone from high to low.
He says we can still see each other but it's not like he can take a week off work to see me. It's going to suck having to wait two weeks to see him just for a night if that's the case it comes to.
I just feel like crap over this situation.. He needs the job for uni money which of course I understand and wouldn't get in the way of it but I'm just frustrated over this shitty situation and I'm pretty sure he knows I'm hurt over it. Am I being extremely selfish?

[snow_girl]

I get wanting to be able to see him, but I think he is being super responsible by getting a job and paying for tuition. He is an adult now and adults don't get to prance around all summer having fun. Yea it sucks, but he will also potentially be making money that will go to paying for trips to see you. If you are not working or have the free time, why don't you go and spend a week or two where he lives. You can keep busy during the day or in the evening when he is at work and then when he is off you can spend time together. Whenever my SO or I have time off we'll do that, I'll go see him and read or sit in the sun or I met a girl who lives near him that I became friends with that I can see while he is at work and then I make him dinner for when he gets home. You don't get days and days of free times but that doesn't happen anymore anyway.

[Ella85]

My boyfriend can't take time off work when I visit (6 weeks over the summer). He'll just come home to a very clean house or I'll be at his Mom's house as he knows the only way he will stop me from cleaning the place spotless is if he puts me somewhere other than the apartment while his is working lol.

I agree with Snow, you could visit him and just see him when he isn't at work?

[80anthea]

Can you find a job near him too? That way you could both work to save up for future visits but be near enough to see each other when you're not working. I don't know how anyone manages university fees and expenses without working holidays and remember when you leave university you're going to be entering a very competitive job market so any work experience you can get will go in your favour.

[differentcountries]

Unless you can cover his school fees it is a little weird to be upset that he is working. How can you afford to not work? I can understand you wanting to spend lots of time, but that is not always possible. When I was a student I had very little holiday time because I did not get student loan for two months each year, I lived on my own and I still had to pay rent.

If you find out exactly when your SO is working, you can scedule your visit around that. Perhaps he will have a weekend off. If not, you can just go anyway. If you have time off, you can enjoy yourself and you can support your SO and reap the benifit of only one of two adults being tired. You can play his housewife, or just have fun, and when the night comes he is all yours. I am going to visit SO for four weeks in summer, if we are lucky he will have one day off (he is not a student, but he works season and they don't have weekends off). It is going to be hard, but I am also very proud of him for working like he does to support himself and us. I will use my holiday time to read and do language studies, it helps him too to know that although I am having fun, swimming and eating lots of ice cream, I also do things to challenge and better myself. Yes, and I will do most of the housework and he will fall asleep in my lap like a cat, which is adorable and makes me feel so needed. In the evenings we will listen to the hissing insects and eat late dinners.

The good news is; adults DO get to prance around summers having fun. Older adults, that is. I love having weeks on end of (payed) holiday time, and one day he will join me and we can go on holidays together. One day your time will come, too.

[Mims27]

Having a job is just part of life. Yes it's harder to work trips around it but it is possible. My SO has a job with way less flexibility as mine and we make it work. When I go visit her she still goes in to work during the day. It's that or I don't see her at all. I'm sure you guys will figure it out!

[whatruckus]

Having a job is just part of life. Yes it's harder to work trips around it but it is possible. My SO has a job with way less flexibility as mine and we make it work. When I go visit her she still goes in to work during the day. It's that or I don't see her at all. I'm sure you guys will figure it out!

Same!!

[R&R]

Having a job is just part of life. Yes it's harder to work trips around it but it is possible. My SO has a job with way less flexibility as mine and we make it work. When I go visit her she still goes in to work during the day. It's that or I don't see her at all. I'm sure you guys will figure it out!

Oh yes. When I visit my SO, he can be gone to work for 12-16 hours each day. Last time I was lucky to get 2 hours awake time with him each day.

Adulthood brings all new responsibilities and the fact that your SO is being mature and responsible about it is a good thing. It's time for you to start thinking the same way he is about it.