Am I wrong for being upset with him??

[Simplyrayah]

My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 5 months now and we really really care about each other. I currently live in California and he lives in North Carolina. I'm officially closing the distance and moving to NC at the end of this year.
However, I am moving to VA with my grandma in a few days. I will only be 5 HOURS away from him!!!

I flew out to visit him earlier this year in March and that trip was VERY expensive for me and hurt me financially. I was planning on taking a train down to see him next week, but unfortunately plans changed because my grandma isn't exactly comfortable with me going down to visit some guy that she has never met before which is understandable. She also isn't comfortable with me traveling by myself.

My grandma invited him to drive up to see me for a day or two. She said he can spend the night, and that she'd give us privacy, and then after that he could take me down to NC to stay with him for a week. She even offered to help pay for his gas! She just wants to meet him.
I told him this and he said that driving 5 hours is a bit much. He didn't really seem to interested.

This really upset me because I have sacrificed so much to go visit him (Arguing with my family, spending almost $1,000) and I am constantly putting so much effort into this relationship. He has even driven several hours a couple times to go on a beach trip with his friends, and party it up.
It's so irritating because now that the ball is in his court, he doesn't even want to TRY and make it happen. He even admits that he's very lazy and applauds me for how productive I am. Keep in mind he works during the weekends only, and he has nothing at all to do during the week. He just stays at home, plays league of legends, and makes a trip to the gym from time to time.

Since i'm going to JUST be moving to VA, I'm not going to have a car. But if I did, I would sure as hell go see him because he means that much to me.
I'm just baffled that even after I have done SO MUCH for him, he can't even TRY to make this happen for me. I actually cried myself to sleep for the first time in YEARS last night, and I'm currently not speaking to him because I am just to upset.

PLEASE HELP ME

[R&R]

In a relationship, you can't keep score. Yes, you flew to him, you paid a lot of money, you are the one moving to NC - by your choice. He didn't force you to do any of those things. You can't hold that against him.

However, his not wanting to come see you when he is willing to put that much effort with others for weekends away with friends - well that says a lot about him. If this is how he is in all situations, are you willing to be the one to always put the effort in? I was married to someone like that and it didn't last. I got very tired of always being the one to have to do everything while he did nothing. You need to look at the big picture and have a real talk with him before you move to NC.

[differentcountries]

Perhaps he is not comfortable driving these distances. And then he gets scared because he doesn't have the money for other means of transport. Or he doesn't feel comfortable with your gran paying, or her making plans for him. Or he cant take the time off from work. Whatever it is, you should know about it. Talk to him.

Tell him how important this is to you, not just now but later on. Have you discussed how the both of you -I assume at least some of the times he will be coming - will stay in tough with your gran and your friends after the move? Will he also then not be willing to drive or find the money for other means of transport?

[Ella85]

I'd be pretty upset too. I completely 100% understand why my boyfriend just can not 'up and fly' to the UK it's in a completely different country and it does cost a lot of money. But if I was living in the US I would be pretty annoyed if I had put in loads of effort and he wouldn't be bothered to come see me. It takes 2 for a relationship to work.

[Mims27]

When my SO and I started our relationship, I was the one doing most of the travelling, yes it was expensive but it was not possible or easy for her to travel or afford it. So I was ok with that. I wouldn't hold it against her because it wasn't her fault. Now we split it; One month I go there and the next she comes here. And we drive 6.5 hours each way. So to me, his "5 hours seems like a bit much" sounds like an excuse. You need to bring it up and see what's going on. Is it more than what he says? Is he shy or scared? Does he not like the idea of getting help to pay? Or does he just not want to...? Good luck.

[snow]

I guess he's not that into the idea, because the plan originally was for you to come down, now turning everything around might seem like an unnecessary inconvenience. Talk to him again, let him know that this is the only way you'll be able to see each other for a while!

[hmrambling]

A little bit of communication goes a long way. Talk to him and listen to why he doesn't want to make the trip. Form your own opinions from there. Trust your instincts.

[AmandaKathryn]

Well the number one thing to keep in mind in a relationship is that they're not all the same. Also, COMMUNICATION! I know you may not feel like talking about it right now but whether he was on the other side of the world or just next door, you really should talk. Communication is so important. You must keep it in mind!! You are never wrong in how you are feeling, just make sure he knows it too.