What is college about?

[almaa_25]

My boyfriend is starting college this fall. Is it really all about people finding the one they want to be with and all these awesome parties and wild kids? I trust my boyfriend, but I really want to calm this paranoid attitude of mine. I am afraid of him meeting someone new..

[Honour]

My boyfriend is starting college this fall. Is it really all about people finding the one they want to be with and all these awesome parties and wild kids? I trust my boyfriend, but I really want to calm this paranoid attitude of mine. I am afraid of him meeting someone new..

Nope, it's not all parties and people-meeting, at least not in my books. I went to do a degree at university, not to meet lots of people. Though granted, some do go for the social aspect and the living alone/with room mates aspects. It's not that I'm not social, I live too far out from the rest of the students to mingle properly and I am much more of a homebody :P I think films and literature sometimes overly-play stereotypes, college/university isn't all about one particular aspect, it's a lot of things mixed together, but if it's really worrying you this much, just be honest with your SO.

[R&R]

Honour is exactly right.

The college experience is different for everyone. It is meant to be a learning experience, not just academically but also socially. A lot of times, this is the first time students are really away from home if they choose to live on campus or go to a different state or far away in their own state. They make life-long bonds and friendships. They pursue their degree and sometimes end up changing their major as they learn about other things and decide there is a different direction they want to take. For some, it's a life-changing experience. For others, it really doesn't make a huge difference other than getting their degree. Each person is different and going to draw something different from the college experience.

All relationships have one of two results: you stay together or the relationship ends. That is whether you are CD, LD, go away to college, take a trip, meet someone in a grocery store. Life has a million variables. Could the two of you stay together while he is at college? Absolutely. Is it possible you may break up? Yes. No one can predict the future on anything. With that being said, you always, no matter what, put your best into your relationship. You work together to make it grow and become stronger. You focus on the positives and work on any issues that may arise. You can't stress and focus on "what-if". But if this is really stressing you out, at least vocalize it to your SO.

[80anthea]

I'll be honest, I went a bit wild at university (college). I was 18 and living away from home for the first time in a city 100 miles from home (that's quite far in the UK ) and I'd had quite an odd life to that point. I had problems at high school in that I was bullied a lot and had problems with my family as my was Mum was (is) an alcoholic. So I saw college as a chance to escape, meet new people and live a little. I did drink way too much, I had one night stands, I met a couple of boyfriends, went travelling round Europe, went to Uganda, got into debt etc and learned a lot of life skills as a result. I had some horrendous experiences, I had some amazing experiences, made a lot of mistakes but also learned a great deal and I don't regret any of it.

However, as Honour as pointed out, people are different. There were people on my course and in my friendship group who had partners back home. A couple are even still together now. Who knows what will happen to you? You do need to talk to your SO about your feelings though and take it one step at a time.

[sasad]

Some colleges are known more as party schools then others...but it really depends a lot on the person. Some kids have used it as a party outlet as they are 18 and out of their parents house. Most freshmen live in dorms and lot of the parties are not happening there. Talk to him about your fears...and like Honour said, not everyone goes to party and not every parent will waste 15k a year for a child to fail out ...

[emsimes]

Nope, it's not all parties and people-meeting, at least not in my books. I went to do a degree at university, not to meet lots of people. Though granted, some do go for the social aspect and the living alone/with room mates aspects. It's not that I'm not social, I live too far out from the rest of the students to mingle properly and I am much more of a homebody :P I think films and literature sometimes overly-play stereotypes, college/university isn't all about one particular aspect, it's a lot of things mixed together, but if it's really worrying you this much, just be honest with your SO.

I'm with Honour on this one. College was honestly a very stressful time for me, so I didn't have much time to party and socialize. My major was extremely demanding, and I also lived at home all throughout college, so I didn't go out much. I did, however, meet some amazing people at my university who will be my lifelong friends. I also joined an amazing club on campus which has already helped me tremendously throughout my post-college career.

While a lot of college students go out to party and socialize, that doesn't mean all college students do. Also, even if your SO does like to go out and have fun, there's nothing wrong with that, either, as long as it's not affecting his studies. College will definitely change his life, but not necessarily in a negative way. Most likely in a positive way. If you trust him, I wouldn't worry

[zed71]

College is a time for freedom, and is probably the best place to practice saying, "NO!"(I dont want to do that, or go out tonight) but it's also a place to say YES!( join clubs, go to parties, do things.
Personally, I have chosen to say NO to parties, and dont get invited anyway. I surround myself with faculty, even though I mess up in their class, they still love me because I respect their time

[Alle1770]

Like the others have said - college is very different for everyone. I'm finishing my first year at college, and my boyfriend struggled a lot with me being here the first couple of months, and he had the exact same worries as you. Yes, there are people that do that kind of stuff - half of my classmates party like 4 days a week and have about 10000 friends. But the other half are like me - prefer a night in with friends, board games or a movie night. Sure, I go to parties every now and again too, but it's never been about getting wasted or hooking up. I've been together with my SO for 5 years soon, and I know there's no one else I want to spend my life with, so if your SO is serious about you two he won't do anything. I understand that it's hard to let go of that paranoid feeling, but trust me, not everyone is all about parties and that kind of stuff

[crazycarrie06]

Depends on the person. For me, college was about learning as much as I could while I had an opportunity to really focus on things I may not get much opportunity to study later in life. I was involved in academic clubs, studied abroad, and spent a lot of time in the library.

There were some folks that were just there to party and hang out. But the people I hung out with were more like me. College is an opportunity to explore a lot of things about your world - intellectually and personally. That doesn't automatically mean partying all the time. I think people who are inclined to do that would find a way to do that with or without college - while people like me flourish in college.

High school for me blew - college was the best years of my life. I made amazing friends, learned a ton, and got a lot of opportunities to expand my horizons. That's not as funny as stupid pranks and naked jokes when it comes to movies.