Well, hi I guess, I'd like to hear advices or experiences regarding few things.
First a bit of introduction. I am first year student, while my SO is about to graduate bachelor's this year. I am two hours ahead of him, which will be narrowed down to one in March.
So anyway, how do you deal with student life and ldr, and all the problems that come associated with it? How do you manage schedules and so on? As much as I am comfortable not talking to him for hours every day, I don't want to narrow it down too much either. I guess it just goes down to planning, but at times I think it is too forced and that I won't be productive enough if I just force myself to study and not do it when I feel like it, and even more so about talking with him. But I guess I need to learn to study properly even then. And I guess I lack some routine and discipline as well.
So, any suggestions? And effective ways to deal with all this?
First a bit of introduction. I am first year student, while my SO is about to graduate bachelor's this year. I am two hours ahead of him, which will be narrowed down to one in March.
- Sleeping schedule. As much as having this little difference in time zones is good in some ways, it's still affected us. We have had quite much trouble managing sleep even before we started anything, but at this point it's become even worse. And we failed to acknowledge it properly till recently. I mean we used to be "oh we should go to sleep early tomorrow" way of course, but ended up staying up late either way. One of the main things that got in the way of either of us seeking the improvement actively was that the relationship wasn't steady yet, we didn't want to rush too much and we both had our moments of doubts at times, mostly about relationship itself and not the feelings, thankfully. And it got to that point, where we are both ready to commit, as late as this February, even if it's still not official, which just includes us not making it known for too many people.
Either way, I have talked about it with him and we both acknowledged that we NEED to improve this, because it gets in the way of our productivity and mainly, health. Besides we are comfortable in not having those night chat conversations now all that often, as much as we love them, because we think our communication is strong enough at this point.
BUT, what are the best ways to improve sleeping schedules? Considering the fact that both of us have trouble falling asleep even if we go to sleep early at times. Having school doesn't help that either, because our schedules often allowed us to sleep in the morning, but going to sleep at 4 or later and waking up after midday feels AWFUL even if I am technically not sleep-deprived.
I mean, we both have ideas of stopping to talk at a certain point, like an hour before we plan to sleep or stay out of technology at all, but are there any other ways as well? And how to deal with not being able to fall asleep even after going to sleep relatively early?
- Studies. This part is mostly about me. So starting this semester my carefree high school life was over, and despite living in a country that is nothing special in terms of education, I think, I found it hard to keep up with uni. I still think the main cause was sleeping schedule, which got in the way of my studies quite often, because I just didn't have powers doing it or couldn't get much from it despite trying. However I understand that there are other problems, I just think improving sleeping schedule is the first step. On top of everything, there was a lot of stress associated with this period of time, both about getting into this relationship, and stuff associated with a friend. Either way, I didn't give enough time to studying some subjects. And talking with my SO kind of got in the way as well. (And vice versa, I think I got in the way as well)
So, have you dealt with college and ldr as well and found it hard to concentrate on studying? My best suggestion to us was that we both start working at the same time, so that I don't start feeling "he's available, why not chat with him instead?" way, which I know is very immature. Are there any better ways, though? And what if I we deal with that but I still fail to concentrate on work? How to motivate myself more?
Fun thing is that living in a small country and going to quite specific school, and having few good unis overall, most of my friends are attending the same one as me, and some of them are taking the same course as me too. We have stayed at uni several times to study, and when I am with friends I rarely talk with him, BUT I can't concentrate on studies either, I mean, I just need my own pace and my own environment to do it.
Also, while my SO doesn't have the exactly same problems I do, I think he needs as much time for work as possible now, since he has to graduate, apply for master's and stuff at the end of this year. And I think our extended talking has taken that time away from him as well.
And we both acknowledge that we need to improve this too.
So anyway, how do you deal with student life and ldr, and all the problems that come associated with it? How do you manage schedules and so on? As much as I am comfortable not talking to him for hours every day, I don't want to narrow it down too much either. I guess it just goes down to planning, but at times I think it is too forced and that I won't be productive enough if I just force myself to study and not do it when I feel like it, and even more so about talking with him. But I guess I need to learn to study properly even then. And I guess I lack some routine and discipline as well.
So, any suggestions? And effective ways to deal with all this?
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