New to this forum-can someone help me get it together!

[gsonxo]

Hello,

I've never been into this site before and it's only through googling my feelings that I've been brought here.

A brief overview of my situation is that my boyfriend and I have been together almost a year. We are totally 'together', there are no issues, so far so good!

He lives 123 miles away exactly and we are lucky enough to see each other most weekends. It hasn't always been this way- we met at uni and lived less than 5 minutes away from each other. Now him living around a 4 hour train journey away is obviously a lot more difficult for us. We make it work but it is so hard at times.

My question is, how on earth do you make that horrible sickening pining feeling go? He's just left about an hour ago and I hurt so badly. I'm not seeing him next weekend, so we've got two weeks without each other. I know a lot of you guys have it a lot worse than us and I hope my post doesn't make you angry! I appreciate how lucky we are compared to others but I am feeling hurt, tired, wanting this to end and completely unmotivated to get everything I need to get done in the next two weeks. Pathetic as it sounds, I just want to sleep.

I'm so sorry this post is so long, I hope someone will take the time to read it and reply with some helpful tips. I haven't always felt like this; sometimes I feel fine about it all and have a get on with it attitude! Just not today though...

Thanks in advance,

G X

[Unicorn26]

Hello and welcome!!!

Firstly, is doesn't matter how far apart you are from your loved one, you're not together and when that's what you want, it's tough.

You are very lucky that you get to see your BF most weekends. I've not seen my BF since October and I'm unlikely to see him again until the summer. Some of us in here go years. It's tough no matter what.

I totally understand the feeling you are describing. It may be best to just go with it for now, be sad, but give yourself a time limit before you snap yourself out of if. Keep some perseprctive, two weeks is really not that much time. If I was going to be seeing my BF in two weeks I would be doing cartwheels!!

Have a look on the countdown thread. See how long others have to wait. Hopefully that should help you see how lucky you are.

Hang in there, keep busy, this feeling is temporary and will pass.

[R&R]

Welcome to LFAD.

One of the things I enjoy most about an LDR is the fact that I do have so much time on my own. I can do so many things without having to worry that I have to get home for dinner or we have plans or I can decide at the spur of the moment to go to the gym after work.

I would take the time that you have to fill it with things that are important to you that your SO may not be so interested in. Have you wanted to learn how to do something and they offer night classes during the week? Is there shopping you want to do that you can do when he's not around? A dinner with friends on a night after work with no worries of cutting into time with your SO. This way, when he's with you, you can focus on your time together but when he's gone, you have plenty of great things that are just for you to keep you busy and having fun.

[MissingMyDutchLove]

Those two are excellent posts! I would just like to add that the more busy you are, the better. If you can distract yourself from the pain by seeing friends or doing a hobby or something, it's a lot easier for a few days to go by and then before you know it he'll be there again. Not sure how long you've been LD for, but most of us on here can tell you that eventually that feeling just kind of dulls into an ache. I miss my SO all the time, but I'm pretty numb to it after the first week apart again. It's got it's good sides and bad, but it definitely helps me get through the long months without him.

[differentcountries]

It is hard to make that sickening pining feeling go away. I try to sometimes scedule feeling sad, I will have a cry session actually, I find that after it I feel much better and I don't think about it as much. I try to keep busy, I work out, go to work, sometimes I plan nice things for him. Also, to plan certain things that celebrate the relationship. SO and I go out to eat at least once every time I visit him (he refuses to do that in Norway, though, as he says it is too expensive!), often we have seafood (which I have come to understood have some kind of seedy connotations in Turkey, haha). I sometimes try to shift focus, telling myself that instead of being unlucky to have this horrible longing, I am lucky to have someone special who loves me, that I love so dearly and that we have time and money to see each other. As for the future, it can not be solved today. I try to think that everything I do with my life is one step closer to perhaps closing the distance one day.