How do you make the nights easier?

[lb_09]

My honey and I have known each other since I was 14 and I am now nearly 20. Despite the love we've had for each other since the very beginning, the timing was never right and our lives took two completely different paths after each of us graduated (he is two years older than me). Recently fate has brought us back together as we reached a point where we finally cannot stand being without one another. The only issue we have now is that we're both still in college... 900 miles apart. He lives in Iowa and I in Texas. Over the past few years I've gotten pretty used to him being out of state most of the year, but now that we are together it simply SUCKS! We text and FaceTime regularly and we find a way for me to see him about every six or seven weeks, but it feels like years! Of course I always miss my man all the time, but night time is truly the hardest thing for me! I am literally fine the entire day everyday, but as soon as night hits and it's time for bed it's like I'm this completely new person. Every night, when it's time to say goodnight (and sometimes even when it's not) I get so emotional and breakdown. Missing him is the worst at this time and I just feel like the next visit will never come. As far as advice, I'm just wondering what I can do to stop crying EVERY SINGLE NIGHT!? I know missing him will never get easier even with as reassuring and comforting as he is, but I just want to not cry myself to sleep at least once... and actually get a full nights rest! HELP! PLEASE!

[R&R]

My honey and I have known each other since I was 14 and I am now nearly 20. Despite the love we've had for each other since the very beginning, the timing was never right and our lives took two completely different paths after each of us graduated (he is two years older than me). Recently fate has brought us back together as we reached a point where we finally cannot stand being without one another. The only issue we have now is that we're both still in college... 900 miles apart. He lives in Iowa and I in Texas. Over the past few years I've gotten pretty used to him being out of state most of the year, but now that we are together it simply SUCKS! We text and FaceTime regularly and we find a way for me to see him about every six or seven weeks, but it feels like years! Of course I always miss my man all the time, but night time is truly the hardest thing for me! I am literally fine the entire day everyday, but as soon as night hits and it's time for bed it's like I'm this completely new person. Every night, when it's time to say goodnight (and sometimes even when it's not) I get so emotional and breakdown. Missing him is the worst at this time and I just feel like the next visit will never come. As far as advice, I'm just wondering what I can do to stop crying EVERY SINGLE NIGHT!? I know missing him will never get easier even with as reassuring and comforting as he is, but I just want to not cry myself to sleep at least once... and actually get a full nights rest! HELP! PLEASE!

Missing your SO is a tough thing. We're all there - we all understand where you are coming from. The biggest thing to realize is that YOU are in charge of your emotions and your reactions. You are crying every night because you are allowing yourself to. You are getting yourself worked up every night because your thought process is most likely, "it night, I miss him, I'm going to cry my misery away" and you do. The only one who can get you out of this thought process and these actions are YOU.

Honestly, you have to take a firm hand with yourself. When those thoughts start as the night gets closer, you have to start talking yourself out of it. You can tell yourself, "tonight I choose to be happy and go to sleep peacefully because I have a wonderful man or I can instead choose to dwell on the distance and be miserable and cry". Keep a journal by your bed and write about time you've spent together that have made you happy or something you want to do together sometime that will be an enjoyable experience. But you have to be positive and see the good thing or you are going to continue to be unhappy and the ball is in your court on that.

[LivingInWonderland]

I don't know if this is necessarily what some would consider a healthy thing to do, but it has worked really well for me, so I am going to share it with you.

My SO and I spent a few weeks together over the summer, and another few weeks together over Christmas, and for the most part slept in the same bed/on the couch together. My SO and I are both very affectionate towards each other. There is almost never a time when we are together that we are not touching in some way. Hand holding, his hand on my knee in the car, or me holding his arm. That kind of thing. So being apart again after spending so much time together has always been a real struggle for us. And like you, nights are especially hard for me. So what we started doing, was opening skype before we go to sleep. I go to bed much earlier than him because I work early mornings, plus the time difference. So it helps me to fall asleep knowing that he is there. At least in the only way he can be for now.

I don't know if this would work for you, or if you are willing to try it. And some may think it's a bad idea. But it is what works for me, so I thought I would at least give my two cents.

[lb_09]

Thank you so much!

[sasad]

I don't know if this is necessarily what some would consider a healthy thing to do, but it has worked really well for me, so I am going to share it with you.

My SO and I spent a few weeks together over the summer, and another few weeks together over Christmas, and for the most part slept in the same bed/on the couch together. My SO and I are both very affectionate towards each other. There is almost never a time when we are together that we are not touching in some way. Hand holding, his hand on my knee in the car, or me holding his arm. That kind of thing. So being apart again after spending so much time together has always been a real struggle for us. And like you, nights are especially hard for me. So what we started doing, was opening skype before we go to sleep. I go to bed much earlier than him because I work early mornings, plus the time difference. So it helps me to fall asleep knowing that he is there. At least in the only way he can be for now.

I don't know if this would work for you, or if you are willing to try it. And some may think it's a bad idea. But it is what works for me, so I thought I would at least give my two cents.

We do the same thing. Some may not like it, but it's whatever works. Plus he was sick last week, so it made it easier for me to watch over him...

[MissingMyDutchLove]

What do I do? Distract myself. Easier said than done, but you really have to push yourself to think of other things when you start to miss your SO. Night is a difficult time, but if you get into a routine that doesn't involve crying every night, you'll have better luck getting past this.

[Alle1770]

We do the Skype-thing too when nights get tough - usually we're both fine, but sometime you just have to talk to one another, and being able to Skype is really a bit relief in those occasions. Otherwise, if I can't talk to him, I basically just keep my mind occupied. I read, I play games, hang out with friends, listen to upbeat music or podcasts. I know from experience that the worst thing I can possibly do is to just lie in bed and stare at the ceiling thinking about him and how much I miss him, so instead I try to keep my mind occupied as much as possible - which is good, because you get a lot of stuff done Best of luck!

[longdistancelife]

Of course you miss him! I miss my SO too! When I go to bed I just know the quicker I fall asleep, another day will go by and sooner it is when we will see each other.

Just think once you are together for good, how much easier it will all be. Good luck!

[SophistiCat149]

My boyfriend and I just started long distance and it's really rough and we have been going through the same struggle as you at night. What we have been doing is we have a stuffed animal that he gave to me at Easter and we say we have joint custody over him. I will have the kitty for a week and then I will spray it with my perfume and then send it to him in Arizona and he gets it for a week and will then spray it with his cologne and send it back to me in Washington and so on. We will also do this with T-shirts or jackets. It's nothing like the real thing but it definitely helps relax me when I'm trying to sleep and missing my significant other. We also will read books at the same time to feel closer. We will say "tonight we both read chapter 5" and then we can talk about it afterwards and that helps us feel closer. We do the same thing with TV shows too. The last thing I would suggest is trying different things that will help you sleep better and relax at night. Don't sleep with your phone in your room, read a book, have a cup of tea, and maybe try taking Melotonin. Nighttime should be relaxing and restful.

Hope this helps